I've been curious about something for a while now, that is, my inability to love. I don't feel much (if any) affection to my family. I currently have no friends, or have any interest in making friends. I have had friends in the past, but when I thought about what happens if they would have died, it didn't sadden me. Right now, I don't have any interest in finding love. Why am I unable to feel love? What does love feel like?

Then be friends with me. Come with me and I shall show you a sight you've never seen before. If you're serious only tho.

>>2 nah, I'm alright. I just want an answer.

Was that a reference to something?

It's not a reference. That was meant for you. But okay.

Maybe that's just the kind of Person you are. Not everybody has got to have feelings of attachment to somebody or Something. Me Personally, I do love the People in my life that are there for me which is basically just my Grandma and my Family in America which I'm currently unable to speak to or meet.

Another Option could be that you have some kind of Post-Traumatic thing in which you've been badly betrayed by someone you trusted and that's why you're now hesistant/unable to build connections.

If anything comes to MInd let us know :) We are like a big family after all, us Dollars that is ^^

>>1 Do you consider yourself to be too different to everyone else in a way that makes you think that they won't be able to understand you, like you see and think way to differently to them and the way most people are doesn't interest you? I probly worded that horribly. I have a feeling that I get what you mean though, however, I wouldn't say that you are unable to love. I would say that you're after something that you can't just find with anyone. If you think about the "true love" theory, that there's one perfect person out there for everyone then what are the chances of having met them? I feel like a true friend is the same too because when you find out more about yourself and put yourself in a different categgory to normal people then it becomes hard to find people who can understand you.

Well, I think I started just ranting then. But there is one other way of looking at it that I feel like I should put in. I think that a good way to describe what you're feeling is that you're looking for something real. We can always make "friends" but it can be hard to find people who have significant meaning and impact on you.

Or something... My heads a bit of a mess so I hope that made sense. ^^

Oh and if you were wondering I think I'm in a similar position to you. I have "friends" but there's noone who's truly significant to me. Like you said, if anyone I know was to die I really wouldn't be sad. It's not that I hate them but rather thinkof them like I would think of people I haven't met, and there's always people dying.

Man I talk to much... I just kinda woke up so I'm not sure what I said but whatever. Good luck finding what you're after ^^

>>5 something traumatic? I haven't been traumatized, although, at the age of four, my mother got a stroke from an aneurysm. My dad wasn't very affectionate with me either...he certainly wasn't the worst dad, though. I was a little scared of him. I have spent a lot of time with my brother. He was to closest one to me. But I didn't love him. I've been adopted for a few years now by loving parents but I still don't love them. I feel like I'm incapable of loving. It's not that I want to love, but I just want a reason as to why I don't love. I'm not afraid of bonding. I think my brother also is incapable of loving. That was just a bad assumption. I also despise affection, to the point where I can get angry by it.

>>7 also, my mother isn't dead. She is alive. When my brother and I still lived with her, she couldn't take care of us on her own, hard as she may try. Our dad, while not being the worst dad, wasn't the best either. I disliked both of them while living with them.

>>6 everyone is different.
I do not believe in "true love" or any type of fate. I find such theories to be ridiculous.

>>7 I wasn't close to my family, but I guess you can say I was close with my brother. I still don't love him despite that. Why is that?

Im not sure but you're probably just a detached person? Since you're not that close to the people in your life. I think connecting to others that can understand you or are in the same situation online or real life does help

For me, there is no love in the real world. I constantly try to connect to people, but they make me feel uncomfortable or are just plainly uninteresting. However, I realized that I would cry if some family member were to die, but I won't mourn it in the end, so I don't really know whether I love someone or not...
Nonetheless what I can say is that I am looking for the right person, the one to spend your whole life with or something romantic like that. If you do have the desire to love (which I guess you do despite disliking relations, but in the end you still think that something is wrong with that) then it might just be that you didn't find the right person yet?
If that is not the case, there is no rule that states that you require to have afffections. People who are socially independent are something I consider to be amazing, since they have the strength to continue their lives alone. (Or maybe they just don't have the weakness of the emotion called love?) So I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Finally, let me ask whether you feel joy at all. You know, even if you do not feel the joy of just being with a person you like, do you at least find joy in some activities? If not, it might very well be that you are in a state of depression, not realizing it yourself. In that case, I would recommend talking to a psychologist, although I do not have high hopes for psychological treatment at all.

Similarly I feel next to no affection for people other than 2 family members, Im not sure why.. Sure I have friends but I dont exactly..want them. Well of course I want them, Im glad theyre there but i cant exactly explain it. I just dont form attatchments to many people..thats all

You probably aren't a very affectionate person or you haven't met someone you really connect with yet. It isn't necessarily a bad thing. There are people I care for but I don't really connect with them and there are some I do.

I'm sort of the same way, I care about my family, but I feel like if they were to die I wouldn't care. Before my first days of middle and high school I would make friends only to not be the odd one out, I made them because I felt I had to. I told myself I would just use them as friends until highschool, then college. I actually don't mind being this way, but I know society looks down on it. sorry I can't help you, but if you find a way to help this problem, then I'm sure ill eventually find it too. I wish you luck.

>>15 oh, I don't consider this a problem. Like I said, I have no interest in finding love. I care very little of my family. I'm just curious as to why I'm like this.

>>12 I am not depressed. I do not desire love.

Desiring love is normal, but you don't have to desire it to fall in love. As for you not caring about a family member passing away, you will never know if you will sad or not until you actually experience it. If they do pass away and you don't feel any sadness it could be the lack of experiences with them. If I randomly had a step brother/sister and they died the next day I wouldn't be sad because I barely knew them, even if they were family. The same could possibly apply to your scenario. If you do have lots of fun experiences with your family and still think you don't care greatly for them then you can ignore the entire essay I just wrote -_-.

>>17 As said, then you're probably just independent.
There does not need to be a reason for someone to be different, from a scientific point of view, every persons brain is different, so of course every person is as well (though I don't think the world is that colorful).
So tell me, what is it that you find joy in?

>>19 I find joy in making bad jokes and fantasizing about strange things.
:D :D :D

>>18 I used to spend a lot of time with my brother but I do not feel any affection towards him. I have conversations with my parents everyday, but I do not love them (to be fair, for the past three years I've been in my room during the majority of my free time watching YouTube videos, reading manga, and watching anime). I'm quite the lazy one.

>>21 >>20 Bad jokes are hilarious because they are bad, why did bob throw a clock out the window? You may answer this one yourself. Spending time in your room and doing what ever the hell you want personally sound fine to me, as long as you don't feed off your all of your parents money for the rest of your life I really don't see anything wrong with keeping the same hobbies. That's probably what I'm going to do lol.

I agree with >>22
There is nothing wrong with the inability to feel affection. I still think that might change with the passing of time though, but as long as you can enjoy life, there's nothing to worry about

>>22 Bob threw the clock out of the window because...he wanted to throw the clock out of the window.
>>23 okay.

>>24 No, he threw the clock out the window because he wanted to see time fly. :3

>>25 why would someone want time to pass by even quicker than it has passed before?

I just realised I have the same problem like you do, at first it felt like I had no passion for anyone even though I see people around feel passionate with others than there's me who can express feeling so most of the time I just fake having passion or loving someone even though I don't so truth be told it just leads to being lonely

>>26 Its a joke, no need to get philosophical XD

>>16 Maybe that's just it; maybe you don't want love because you don't want it. If you've been detached from others since childhood, maybe you've just learned to live without loving people, and your subconscious tell you you don't need to connect with others because that's how you've always lived.

And>>26: because reasons.

>>29 oh, fine.

>>27 I don't get lonely, but I can relate to the other things you do.
>>30 that makes sense.

I'd say try Jesus, but... y'know, I would probably get yelled at.

You mentioned that you spend most of your free time watching anime and reading manga.... do you feel anything towards those characters or those stories? I think you may be reducing your definition of love to something too small. You can love doing activities such as reading, watching anime or anything else. You can feel love towards fictional characters. Feeling love is not the same as falling in love, it's not always romantic. I think that you may just be very introverted, and simply don't have much desire to establish lovey dovey relationships with other real people at this stage of your life. I almost fell into this way of operating, but then I went to school a found some amazing friends, who legitimately loved me for who I was. And you said that you aren't afraid of forming bonds, so it's likely that could happen to you to. You seem to come from a pretty objective place with all this, but still, don't feel discouraged ok? :)

>>33 I do not feel love towards fictional characters. I am not passionate about anime or manga, in fact it is hard for me to stick to a series without eventually getting bored of it or forgetting about it. I do not think all love is romantic. That would be silly.

You could've just told me to try Jesus. That would've been hilarious (or even better, telling me that I need Jesus).

I don't feel discouraged. Why would I feel discouraged?

Also, how the heck do you love fictional characters?

Don't know, but your not alone. I actually got to eat popcorn on my cousins grave... I don't know what love is and it might be different for every people. Thought I in my case always thought I would die in a ditch somewhere it was just a matter of when.


For me the closest thing I would say to it would be blind devotion to someone I admire and inadvertebly help me out when I was supper lonely. I live my life in books. But it ends... The boredom that comes once you lost your passion and when you got nothing else to read... Though humans write there own story's as time goes and its really interesting and fun!

At least someone you trust and your willing to put some things in line for that person can be a good indicator. Other then that really I got nothing <.<

do u ever see someone and think he/she is good looking

>>1 Wow!You are just the same as me.I don't feel love or attachment to anyone and I don't think i am able to do it.Everyone i know is so different than me.They care deeply about their close ones and i just sit there thinking why do they care so much.If everyone in my life died I wouldn't care.I have expected the deaths of close family members and I didn't feel anything.I am glad i am not the only one who feels this way though.

Not only you..... all otakus are like that. They are people that want to stay on their own world and hate trouble.they don't express their feelings and prefere being alone than with other people etc.

yo this may not be answer but i suggest you check the video on the link you might be able to relate or not either way probably worth a shot might clear up any confusion

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds/bonding.htm

>>34 I guess one creates an image in their mind that appeals to the ideal partner? Since fictional characters often show a lot of their personality, I think falling in love with them is even easier than with a real person.
>>39 That may be true for Japan, where Otaku describes more than the western definition of anime and manga fan. Even then, be careful with generalisation.^^