First, sorry if my english is not good, I'm just a french girl x).

I'm 15, and i know that at this age we all want to be "special", so, i went here to know if i just want to be "special" or if i'm really "anormal".

Sometimes, I feel very strange, it's hard to explain but is like I was an empty box without any bottom (I don't know if it's the right word). When I feel like that, my self-esteem sag, so i think "If I act like an awesome personn, my self-esteem will necessarily up !". But I do nothing, and rest very quiet. This is an unpleasant feeling ! It's like I was wantin for something, but it's never come ! I not feel like I was sad, but... it's hard to explain ! And, when I'm like that, I invented a lot of story in my head ! (like everybody do xD !) But every day, and several time

I imagine that my mother, my stepfather and my grandmother die in front of me, I feel sad but become very rich ! But I feel alone and empty too. x) it's ALWAYS like that, is it normal ?

And I fell indifferent to everything, and I can stay for weeks without leaving home.

But, sometimes, like this time, I wake up and I fell VERY VERY happy ! It's like I was in love ! I do a lot of things, my self-esteem rises ! And, I don't know what, but, I really want se people angry, It's strange but I feel very happy when they are crying, shouting. One time, my stepfather say "You know, I have a tumor... do you think I will day ?" (In french we say tumor "tumeur", but "tu meurs" means "You die"), I laught and say : "Yes, you die !"


it is only the adolescent crisis, isn't ?

I don't think you're "anormal". I've like that during the last year, but I never felt like I was anormal. You just need to find yourself. It can be very long but it will not last forever (I hope !!!!). You're very similar to me, so I really, really wish that you find your answer.

PS : Your english is pretty good.

Honestly i would envision people dying around me in horrible ways including my family sometimes.

Don't try to repress these feelings. Whatever outlet you can find except for hurting people or animals is good. Let it out.

All i have to go on is my experience i'm 17. But personally i use "simulations" to give myself a feeling of power.

Maybe you're feeling powerless. Personally I used to and still use "simulations" like yours to give myself a sense of control when i have very little.

Could it be that someone or something or some situation has taken away any power you thought you had. Maybe you are seeing more of the world now which makes you feel small in comparison.

Alot of the times i love it when people are crying or angry or in chaos because it comforts me to know that other people suffer aswell.

I tend to make myself really small in terms of other people because my expectations for myself are too high.

I think that you like me, see the world right now as out of your reach. You could have more power then you think.

Personally after many years feeling down i can tell you this: confidence is key!. Don't ever try to forget your suffering, instead work through it, how? Follow your instincts.

My biggest regret in life is having given up on myself. Don't try to think of some fantasy and live fueled by your emotions, instead try to be the best YOU that YOU can be. You will cry, you will suffer, you will hurt, you will hurt others, but being human; its in your DNA is about experiencing all those things and carrying on.

I think you are perfectly normal cuz I'm exactly like you. It's strange but I was having the worst day of my life (nothing big),I feel better, now I find someone like me. I'm also French and I'm 14. It's very nice to see I'm not alone. Arigato 😊

>>2 Yes, it's maybe that ! Buut it's difficult to wait a such like that !

>>3 I happy to see that i'm not the only too feel something like that ! And, usually i repress all my feeling and try to forget all things that can hurt me x), I'm afraid to let out all my feel, i don't want to cry anymore for somethings ! In my opinion, cry its a waste of time ! It change nothings !

>>4 Je suis aussi contente de voir que je ne suis pas la seule ^^

Bump .I guess we're less alone that we could ever know.

I thought the exact same thing about being angry. I'm a boy so being angry is basically the male equivalent to being sad. I rememberthinking I've been angry all my life I don't want to be angry anymore so I made a shell and contained my anger trying to be happy all the time instead.. It helped but I should have known. When to stop. This past year I've slowly broken through that shell and finally come to realize that the world doesn't revolve around me. Whether I'm sad happpy. Or angry suffering persits and all that changed was my perception of it

You're just an idiot. You're a girl, and it's normal to imagine such things, but, seriously, they don't play any importance. It's like you fall in depression for fun. I know this. But I forget about these stupid things very quickly. You are 15 and you have to concentrate on your future, you don't want to work in McDonald's, right? Concentrate on school, on other people. You don't have to let anyone influence your life, but it's important to have a good reputation. Oh, and as a girl, be careful, the feeling get hysterical when you're on your period ^^

>>8 x) i know, and i also think i'm and idiot, imagine things like that it's ridiculous, and this is exactly why I asked if it was a normal thing to feel. :)
I want to be sure it's normal because i hate people who care and become sad about nothing

Well, that's a part of being a teenager. We often change our mood swings and that's pretty normal most especially for girls.