Hi all.
For first, I'm new here, I'm 26, from France and do apologizes if my English is not good.
I've to do a little long description. I consider that I've not really a family, even If I have one. But half of this totally ignore me since me birth (infedility of my Father, who dead 15 years ago) ans the other one is... strange. A mother who is deeply depressed since my father's death, a sister whom I don't really know and a brother that I liked, before for his way of life, his behaviour (kind, worker, good father, good husband) but now, even if I talk to him, I feel no attachment with.
In a second time, studies and work. Because my mother is poor, I had to work since my 18 years birthday (good thing of course) but I worked in restauration, with hours that I've not to explain I think. The 2 past years was particularly difficult, because I've always been fired, not for my work, but simply because I'm too kind. I respect all of procedures and standards, I'm quick, I'm really decent with customers... But always get fired... And always the last day of my try period.
I've a master degree in economics, matter that I love... But I stop 2 years ago, really don't know why...

All of that for what ? I'm sure of myself and on my qualities, I'm kind, a little bie intellegent, good sportsman If I work on it (good goal keeper), but... I think I lost all my energy the 15 years past to try to help my mother who never recognize this... To work hard in restaurant where I had always good relationship with other waiiters, cookers and customers (98% of time, I'm really social)... To help others students who was in same class with me in mathematics in particular, and more (until denie my own homeworks)...

But I didn't really take importance in friendlyship who was very important for me (also with my exs-girlfriends)... And that the most disapponting thing to me.

Nowadays, I feel empty of energy, I pass all days in the bed, in Internet and I really don't like this... But I can't move. I thinking all days about my past and don't try to think about my future... I try to go again to university for next year, hoping that my project will have a good ending.

I try to go out, play some football but when I back to my home... I just can't move. How can I refund the energy I had before ? To help the most people I want, to do lots of things, To not be like this... ? Answer is easy, doing again this things, but my mind say no...

Sorry for this long message to read and this darkness... Hope someone will read this.

The unfathomable depths of apathy that consume people from time to time seem to have swallowed you right up, huh? I understand. Never have I experienced it to the degree you have described but I have suffered apathy on a much smaller scale and I absolutely can't stand it.

So you say you want to get back into the motions of having energy to do things, of wanting to do things. That energy is kind of hard to generate, surely, but taking the negative components of your perspective, acknowledging them and then putting them to bed might help; that is to say, try at least to make your first step to simply think more positively about things. Another thing is that you don't have to take in the prospects for your course in life all at once; we humans can live day by day or decade by decade, depending on how things are, and it might help to take your desire for action and scale it down and do little things at first, appreciate small things you never really think about, like how it feels to take your shoes off after a long day of activity, or the cathartic loosening and relaxation of the muscles after vigorous exercise, or the feeling of satisfaction one gets after an accomplishment, or the self-satisfaction we get from being who we are and doing what we want to do while abiding to our beliefs and overcoming our inhibitions.

I wish I could be more helpful for that, but you really do have to force yourself to do things. But you don't have to do it all at once; the energy you had, well, some of it will come from you, and some of it will come from the things you do. So catalyze your activity a bit and start doing little bits of the things you want, start taking larger steps, and fulfill your goals in life. Go to university, socialize with the people you love and care about, and the energy should start flowing naturally as a consequence.

An alternative solution if the apathy you feel isn't under your control; investigate to see if you have some sort of depression or chemical imbalance or something like that that makes it almost physically impossible to feel energized or inspired to do anything, and consult a medical professional in the appropriate field. Either way though, you can get back to where you were and go beyond that, and be the you you want to be. Don't give up on yourself; everybody needs a light in the darkness, after all. If your mind says no, slap your mind and be assertive ;)

I wish you the best of luck and hope you have a nice day~