I haven't had many friends. I had the opportunity to have some best friends more than a lot of friend friends. Though my best friends have come and gone. It hurts a lot to think back at all the wonderful memories..turn into just memories. Ive had 3 best friends in my life. It feels like they came in stages. My first best friend came during elementary school to mid middle school. We used to hang out all the time and I loved it. We were the outcasts but we were okay with it, we had each other to play with. We did everything together. We shared lockers, we played at each others house all that little kid stuff. All through elementary school up to middle school we felt like we'd be friends forever. Well nope...I remember the day very clearly. I went to school and she wouldnt talk to me. I was so confused. She avoided my every move. Ignored my every call. I talked with her sister to figure out what happened. She told me that for some odd reason why my once best friend...no longer wanted anything to do with me...Luckly I had some other friends to back me up. I was lucky that my other friend brought me into his group. My number of friends increased alot. There was this one girl, We clicked more than the others. We got to talking and as it turned out we had alot in common, I was able to finish middle school with a best friend that was joining me in high school. The first year was normal. We hung out all the time. Talked all the time. I entered her group of friends that she had picked up and things were good.I wasn't very good at making friends so i was okay in the spot i was in. But then junior year...things changed...She became alot more....touchy and clingy...she came out as bi and I was still her best friend. To me you can be purple and Id still be friends with you. But i came to the conclusion that she wanted to be with me. I didnt feel the same. I talked to her about it and she seemed like she understood...then it seemed like she couldnt not be in a relationship. She went from her boyfriend to her boyfriends best friend. She and I lost contact after she left me for her boyfriend. I lost what was once a great friendship once again. I met my cousin at a christmas party 3 years ago when i was in my junior year. My dad saw that she was drawing soul eater. He had me come over to her and our friendship started there. She and I became instant best friends. We shared alot of interests. Video games, drawing, reading, Anime, cosplay, ETC. She helped me so much through improving myself. She helped come out of my shell and be more open. Although if i am by myself there is no way i would be able to open my mouth. But being with her i had no limits to how loud i could be. It was so much fun hanging out with her and talking with her. She didnt have a car so i had to go to her all the time.. I had to meet her at the movies or pick her up and go shopping. I had no problem with that cuz thats what friends do. I helped out in any way i could. I brought her ice cream when she was down or sick. I didnt care. We shared alot of personal info and i felt like i could tell her anything. She and I started a role play that i fell in love with. It was so fun! Being in the rp allowed us to be who ever we wanted and we found out even more about each other through it. I really thought we'd be friends forever. I could see it. But this last year...things havnt been the same. She found a boyfriend and i became really jealous. I felt like she had replaced me...It crushed me but he and i got time to talk and i was sorta welcomed into their group. Things mellowed out but i grew depressed. My whole high school years and the year that followed i was single. I was an introvert so that didnt help. The rp with her helped because we had characters that would always be there for me. But the rp had slowed alot when she got a boyfriend. I had alot more time to myself to think about where i was in life. I had no one to hold me and give me kisses. No one to take me on dates or wake me up with good morning texts. I grew really jealous and more depressed. I did end up doing some self harm . not much but it did leave some light scars on my arms. Still she was there for me. She helped me forget that path and i have never done it since. But the depression never left. I remember laying in bed one day staring at the wall with tears down my cheeks. I was so alone..I was craving the feel of a hand in mine. I never talked to my sisters or parents about it. I didnt want to cause more drama than i am worth. So i kept most of my problems to myself. But she was able to help me out through most of them. There was this one cosplay event at the zoo. We went together overjoyed at the thought of cosplaying in public. It was so much fun even though we got kicked out. I still had alot of fun and i so wanted to do it again. I wasnt ready to go home yet (since it was only like 2pm) A group of the cosplayers agreed that the day was still young so we hung out the rest of the day. We ended up going to the mall(got kicked out too, not for being to annoying but for being in cosplay -.-), we then went to a park then dinner. We ended up going to one of their apartments to play some board games. The day was a lot of fun and my best friend and i were very happy we went. Before we left back to our city( we live in different cities), I was asked for my number. I was shocked at first but i gladly gave it over. On the ride back home I told my best friend what happened since she didnt see. She stayed quiet all the way but i just took it as that she was tired from the day of activities. I felt off and i asked her about it. it took her abit but she finally told me that she was worried. That the guy i gave my number to was going to use me. We got into a heated argument about how i can handle myself. I eventually went home but the feeling stayed. The guy and i started talking thru texts. We got to know each other well and we eventually started dating. Things started to go down hill even faster between my best friend and i. I wont lie i did make some mistakes but i have tried so hard to fix them. I dont want to lose her but its been so hard. I have no idea what to do. Ive done so much to keep her as a friend though it feels like she has done nothing...I know shes a great friend. And I do love her. It feels like shes better friends with ppl online and that shed rather talk to them more than me. I dont want to lose her and i know we can fix this but i dont feel she is trying the same as i. She grew to hate my boyfriend for reasons i wont spell out. There was this con this weekend and i didnt want to cause her any pain more than i could so.. i didnt tell her i was going. I felt that if i told her she would hate me since i was going with my boyfriend. I thought i was in the right mindset but my mom told her. She hasnt spoken to me in three days and i am so scared. I have no idea what to do or what to say. I really dont want to lose her, I dont want to lose another best friend...what do i do..

wow im so sorry stuff like this has happend to you i dont really know much about trying to keep friends ive moved alot in my life and never really had the chance to make a best friend but from leaving the friends i did have behind i know its hard im not really sure how to go about it but just try and see if shed be willing to talk to you have a long talk and try to figure out someway to make things better on both of you jut tell her your sorry for anything pain you have caused her and try to explain to her why you have done what you did long as shes willing to talk to you im sure you guys can work it out it might take a few days for her to be willing to talk tho im sorry if any of this sounds like a script or doesnt seem helpful but i wanted to say what has helped in some events in my life and all i can do is hope this message helps you in some way

>>1 well what can i say,she is probably worried about you since you talked to this guy who had become your boyfriend,she is probably angry and tired at you too since you aren't listening to her.i kind of understand what happen in your life,people leaving you behind you start to feel emptyness people special to your heart aren't easy to replace and most of them can't be replaced at all.And i think is best to listen to your best friend,if she is as good as you say,she ins't talking to you and warning for no reason,when we love someone we can't simply abandon them like nothing happen,i am not asking to break up with your boyfriend,but take care of yourself,i am kind of worry about you.well anyway we the dollars are where to help you,if you need to ask something don't hesitate

>>3 Well said, we are indeed here to help, those of us who run around helping...obviously...I don't think I should need to point that out, it seems redundant XD

Anyways, friendship is incredibly sacred and valuable to me. Having people you can truly trust with all of your secrets and feelings, from your friends to your family, is incredibly necessary to the healthy function of a person, in my opinion; just having somebody to confide in when you're down and not be judged is enough to turn a disastrous occasion into one that is only somewhat disheartening, and the recovery process is thus expedited. That being said, sometimes the people who impact us in our lives aren't always there to stick around, whether by circumstance or something more sinister; usually those who leave by circumstance are never truly out of your life, and when or if you get around to running into them again you know they're there and they aren't removed from the pool of those you trust. By something more sinister, of course, I refer to disagreements or misunderstandings or other such extraneous events that render continued relations to be no more. It's sad when it happens but most people will have experienced it one way or another; I know I've been through a few friends in my life that I barely talk to now, or I never talk to period, and sometimes it's upsetting, but what I do know is that there're also people who are forever and if you continue being cautious yet open with your heart you'll maintain stability in being able to entrust your friendship and love to somebody else.

That being said, your friend is just trying to look out for you. And as your friend, she shouldn't condemn you for making poor decisions and mistakes, because we all do that, and if we learn from our screwups then the offense isn't much of an offense anymore, but a learning experience. She should, in my view, try to be more forgiving and understanding of your situation, and simply stand by to help you out if or when things DO go nuts, because that's what friends do; we stick around to berate our other friends for being idiots or congratulate them for being right. That's all there is to it, no drama, no complete breakdown of trust, no stupid conditional ultimatums or stubborn bouts of situational ignorance, and that's how friends and family should be to me, plain and simple. Like I said, it's incredibly difficult to find somebody with whom you can trust to not judge you and yell at you for accidents to set you straight and stick by you to try to help you out, and in a good relationship you, of course, will reciprocate those ideals and such as best you can. Friends are for the each other, for the self to breathe vigor into everything around it and make things better for those involved. We need our love and friendship, seriously.

I hope you can work things out with her, and I hope your current boyfriend proves her wrong and isn't a tool, and I hope that in the case he is, that your friend will let you off with a playful "I told you so" and be there for you, to help you through the hard times always, because that's just how it should be. If you need anything let us know heheh...