I'll try not to bore you with an elaborate backstory, I'm just looking for someone to prove that I'm not in the wrong when I say this.
Good people are idiots.
I'm 16 and I've grown up with all the privileges granted to white males in society. I'm average at school and I have lots of hobbies.
In my growing up I've always stood by my absolutely adamant view that being an active, productive, socially fluent member of every level of community and society makes you a good person.
I have always strived to be such a person, making an effort to clean up after other people, to be open to other people's influence, be flexible with learning and always try to please people who want me to succeed. It's not that hard, it's just a matter of doing the thing that springs into the front of your mind in a situation. It's become very easy for me to automatically walk into being the "good guy" in most situations.
But whilst I may be that guy who gave his first week's paycheck of £250 to charity and made friends with a blind kid who didn't know many people in school and stood by my dad when everyone else in my family was antagonising him for his habits, it seems that these random instances of kind heartedness put me further and further out of the aforementioned good person. I do worse in school than most people, I have very obvious self awareness and I have had to face and treat two very embarrassing medical conditions of mine with very little outside help and have effectively lost touch with the things other people are telling me.
It becomes harder and harder to pick up a textbook and when I get shouted at by a teacher for not having done the homework set two weeks ago I can't tell her that it was because of a very distressing suicide of my friend and mentor who had been standing by me and teaching me since I was 10. So all I can do is sit there and think about how much more of my life is going to be miserable situations like these where I can't fight back.
Being a good person has only made me more and more vulnerable and now that I can't help but be the good guy in most situations all I can do is put myself more and more out of the way of being an active, productive member of society.

You tell me, is there any reason to be a good person if it means getting all this crap with it?

i suppose it depends on your definition of "good person". you described it as "being an active, productive, socially fluent member of every level of community and society makes you a good person". i think that this definition has some truth, but isn't necessarily "complete", i guess you could say. to me, doing the best you can in your life (schoolwork, job work, being there for others), is important, but inherent in this is that there are limits to what you can do. we're human, and we're not perfect. but not perfect doesn't necessarily not good; you just need to do what you can. so falling behind in school because of a person dear to you's suicide? that doesn't make you a bad person; you can only do so much, and your limitations aren't necessarily a bad thing.

going back to your initial statement of "Good people are idiots" - while people that know less of the world (especially the bad aspects) may be more likely to live positively and always striving forward (because they haven't been dragged down by the woes of the world), people that have know more may have a desire to help those who have suffered as they have, which i view to be a good thing.

none of the statements i made i mean to be all inclusive, and i don't mean to sound like i'm invalidating what you're saying (i'm sorry if that's how it came across!) i'm just offering up my thoughts.

Being a nice person doesn't make you an idiot. Look you can be a nice person and still be able to stand up for your self. If you're getting shouted at by your teachers or maybe even your parents perhaps you need to yell back, make them listen to your side of the story. I don't know what it would be like if one of my friends died so I don't exactly know how you feel about that completely. I know that if my friend died in any way he/she would want me to move on from their death because I'm not died. Your not dead, you may feel like it, but you aren't so don't act like you are. I'll be honest with you any fucking idiot can get through high school with a 4.0 GPA it doesn't take that much brain power to do it. So you aren't an idiot your stress, depressed, lazy, or maybe you just don't give a fuck anymore, I know everyone at one point has been there. But teachers, parents, other kids, or administrators yelling at you telling you what you're doing wrong isn't going to change you as a person. YOU have you change YOU don't turn into a jerk or stop being nice cause of people yelling at you. Nice people are hard to come by now a days and it will get you far in whatever you wanna do with your life.

What it means to be a good person, the way I see it, is an intrinsic part of gaining insight into one's own humanity. Setting arbitrary requirements for somebody to be a good person is folly to me, especially when basing it off the whims of society.

I don't really think there's anything wrong with what you have been doing, for the most part; you do what you think is right by yourself and by others, and who can fault you for that? You haven't hurt anybody, save, perhaps, yourself, but I'm not sure I would even attribute the acts of kindness you attempt to carry out with the blame for your misfortune. Goodness and society can meet, but they aren't intrinsically blended together. Sometimes people do good things that completely alienate them from society, while other times the most morally abhorrent individuals become the crown jewels of society; it all depends on the flow of culture and mentality as a consequence of the whims and intimations of the people concerned. Being a good person doesn't require you to sacrifice your common sense and sense of self; devoting too much of your being to being good will simply lead to corruption, because if you don't temper your undertakings you'll fall over in your own efforts and you won't be able to do good anymore at all, in a sense. I'm not saying what you've been doing is bad, but if the negative circumstances you find yourself in are a result of trying to be a "good guy", then figure out a balance. The goodness of a person should not be measured directly according to how much blatant good they do; good people are generally good influences on others or themselves, or just generally keep true to a moral code that benefits them and others in a positive way. You don't always have to go out of your way; too much is too much. If you go on a journey, there will be stops and experiences along the way; a traveler that doesn't stop to rest will just fatigue themself and risk misfortune on the rode, but they'll still journey onward when they've recuperated their strength and made any necessary stops. So don't brashly devote yourself to an ideal if in doing so you lose all sense of the original purpose, and lose your sense of self, because if that happens there'll be no point. Life won't only be miserable situations, and I dare say that being a good person will make them better because your moral fiber and the good impact you have on the people you care about and the world in general should be enough to maintain your strength and allow you to continue onward; life is a constant journey into the unknown, the fog of war, a finite void of confusion and random encounters that will no doubt throw these hardships at you regardless of your moral inclination; but your moral inclination will impact how you act and react, and the prospective provided by trying to be the best you you can be will definitely improve the way things go in your own way, I'd imagine.

I guess my point is to say that you're incredibly wrong. People will disagree with me, especially nihilists, because I'm an existentialist; life is absolutely meaningless and it's beautiful because of that, because as humans we have the power within ourselves to give it meaning that it might not intrinsically have, and whether we ever realize or even consider it or not, our ability to perceive and abstractly represent the world and ourselves on a plane beyond anything else is one of our secret weapons with which to expand our insight into the wonders of the world. Be good, keep being you, because it's worth it. As long as you can live with yourself, then the hardships will never last as long as the fiery potential burning in your heart, and the light you bring to the world through the things you do. Stay strong, because there're people that believe in you and that idea. Eschew the idea of doing it for society, if need be, because I am of the persuasion that it means more when you do it for the things you believe in, do it for the people you love, and do it for yourself. Give meaning to it through your desires and inclinations and live life to your maximum potential. That's how I see it. If you ever have need of people to talk to, there're places for you to go, I assure you, and I'd venture to say here would be one of them. And don't forget that you sometimes have to take care of yourself before you take care of others.

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope this helps somehow. Do what you can in school; I'm sorry for your loss and may you find the resolve you need.

Well, unfortunately I may have to prove that you are in the wrong (please don't take offense, for I do not mean this reply to be offensive). Being a good person does not relate to intelligence, for individuals may hold different levels of intelligence, but they can still be good people. Believe it or not, one of the biggest reasons why you may be having such a hard time is because you are focusing too much on striving to be good. Being a good person not only takes effort, but it must come from the heart. Do not TRY to be a good person, just BE. For instance, when you give money to charity, do you give your money because you want to be good, or do you give it because you naturally feel it is right within yourself and believe that the mission of the charity is positive and agree with it? Did you make friends with the blind person because you thought it would be a good thing to do, or were you naturally interested within getting to know and understand that individual. There must be a deeper meaning behind being good, rather than simply being good, if that makes sense to you. Being truly good takes effort (which you are obviously showing), but also takes heart and soul. Since we are speaking about being good though, we must also talk about being bad. For now, lets just roll with the "good people are idiots" scenario (not saying the actually are), but what would that make bad people? One of the biggest questions you have to ask yourself is why you are attempting to be so good. Were you always making the effort to be good, or at one point of time did you not see yourself as such a good person? Within one second you could be a completely bad person depending on what you do in someone else's eyes. I could say that giving to charity was a nice action, but if you gave to charity without putting 100% of your heart and mind to it, you are bad. That would be completely based off of opinion though; what is truly being good or bad? If someone else were to look at you and tell whether you were good or bad, it would be based off of opinion, for there is no set list of things you must do within the world to be considered good or bad, which means that you have to ultimately look at yourself and make that decision. You should also know that when being what you believe is a good person, life overall will not become better for you (maybe in some ways). Being good will not bring you rainbows and sunshine throughout life, but it gives you is the ability to affect someone else's life in a positive way; depending on how you think about it, affecting someone else's life in a positive way is a reward on its own. Also you may get a great boost of happiness, or someone may return the favor, which is also nice to experience. I can definitely tell you that the things you have to deal with in life is not from being a good person. Whether you are a good person or not, you will always have to deal with events that may be negative.

>>4
I am very thankful that you said some of that. I feel like I've been a bit of an idiot, blaming good things for causing bad things. That makes zero sense.
But true as every word you speak may be, I still feel like I've been going wrong somewhere. When I give and give and give so much and get absolutely nothing in return I feel queasy. I want to agree and accept the fact that I'm doing the right thing, but I am having to fight with myself in order to do it.
I think you're right, it's a question of moderation. Not jumping on every opportunity, not looking for something to blame misfortune on, and keep being me. I might not be able to right the ship immediately, but it's nice to know I'm not wasting my time being nice.
Thank you :)

I know this isnt much to offer but i'm going through exactly the same thing, my brother had died a couple years back and i only found out on his birthday last year. I'm constantly yelled at and insulted by my parents and teachers and i have the worst anxiety attacks at school. I couldnt put up with the crap i got either, so i use honesty to be nice, i insult people and tell them i dont care and am only nice when i need to be like if someone has family problems. Again i know its not much, but i can relate and trust me it helps.

Am just gonna put this out there.
Be both a good and a bad person. And having read your story, fate is what is killing you, not the people, or anything else. Well mostly fate and some people.
Hell you can even be a bad person and be good.
All in all, you should follow your own path, not a path set out by other people's expectation, not even your expectations either.
A path that you build upon by experiences, both good or bad

first off good people are not idiots. Don't really know why you would think that. Idiots come in all shapes and sizes. Anyway, you being good is just being involved with others and having friends. It is just life that shit happens. There are ups and downs throughout life. Choices need to be made and not all have the consequences you thought.

One can't do everything, and if they try it will fall apart. It isn't really a sense of morality in the matter, just the amount of time.

I say do what you want to do, and not what others tell you.

You're not a good person, you're just an idiot. Get that into your head, improve yourself and then try to be the good person you strive to be.

>>6 Anytime buddy, glad that it helped ^_^

If you need anything just say something, you know, we got your back~

Good luck, I hope you dig up that sextant, find a map and set course to an enriching destination for your soul ^_^