I don't know what i ever did to make them hate me or at least not like me but recently theyve been really cold to me and not believing anything ive told them.... its mostly with my dad and i am completely clueless about all this. One example is when we went to my grandmas last week and she was wondering what i was typing on my computer so i told her what i was doing which was writing a story and after i said that my dad just scoffed and looked at me like i was a dissappointment..... My mom is a little bit better but not much, we constantly fight and she never listens.... I think she tries but not very hard theres very little effort given from her.
These things have made me really self conscious and depressed to the point where ive gone back to my old addiction of self harming and i almost put myself in the hospital but didnt tell anyone. Hell one time last summer i actually did put myself in the hospital and just outside my door my parents were talking and i over heard them talking about how '[im] too young to have any problems and its just a small phase. shell get over it' I cant even get any professional help anymore because they wont believe i have a serious problem with self harm and depression.

I've done my best to change any bad habbits i have or thought i had and myself like the way i am and thats fine but it doesnt seem to work. Ive also tried just staying away from home and them as much as possible and thats fine just they start complaianing about why im never home even though when i am all we do is fight. Someone just please help with some advice or something because this is really getting to me.

The last paragraph you mentioned, my parents do that as well but I think it's because they're really old now. If you've got depression or self harming then I'm not going to tell you to be patient. That's the hardest thing to do and you put up with them quite a lot. I'm not a professional either but the valuable advice I could give you is to hold on and believe you can make it through the storm. Maybe there isn't a rainbow after the storm is gone but at least you've gone through it, you've gone through the hell of a pain you have to put up with.

I'm at school right now and today I didn't have a very good day, despite it being an important one. I can't find a place to cry without other's noticing me and I'm getting flashbacks of my year 5 teacher verbally abusing me and bullying me when she had the opportunity. I made it through that storm thank goodness but now I've got another storm to face.

Life is full of storms, please make it through them.

just be a good kid in home

People often will react to different people in ways that the person in question doesn't exactly deserve or merit, especially when other factors are at work. Parents might be especially prone to this, when other things that they have to deal with bleed into their daily lives in a way that causes intensive stress, and they don't handle it appropriately or incorrectly attribute it to another cause, I.E. you. I'm not saying that this justifies this behavior, but it's a potential theory that could help you cope in some capacity, even if it doesn't make things much better. Most parents genuinely do not hate their children, and it doesn't sound like you did anything to deserve their ire, so it's possible that they're having trouble that you don't know about, or have made some incorrect assumption about you based on circumstance. There are plenty of factors to consider that are difficult or impossible for you to account for, especially without their cooperation.

In any case, it's definitely not good for you, to be subjected to such emotional neglect constantly, no matter the reason, and I wish it didn't bring you back to self harm and perpetual sadness and apathy, but I think you can be okay, you know? It'll be hard, and sometimes getting out of the house is just plain good for you, but you can't avoid the house all the time forever either, and it sounds like that bothers them too (which is indicative that they do indeed care about you and are having issues that they may simply be wrongly taking out on you, but it is impossible for me to know), so I would say to pace your excursions from the house a bit. One thing they are most certainly wrong about is the part about being too young to have problems, about it being a phase; that's not true, and it's not applicable. Your problems, things that really do bother you and grind down on you matter in your context, and that's the only context that's relevant, so don't let that view skew your view of yourself into one that views your depression and actions with contempt and confusion over the legitimacy of what you did. While I don't think self-harm is a good way to deal with ANYTHING, it's also not the kind of thing you just up and choose to do; once you find yourself in a scenario (and of course you probably know this) where you find yourself doing that, especially if one is prone to depression, it becomes kinda habitual. It is a bad habit, but that doesn't mean you're a bad person, and neither does the perceived hatred from your parents. You're good as you and as long as you do your best to remember and hold true to that, you can get through anything. Keep the people you love, the people that love you, keep them close. Talk to people, share what ails you and, well, cry when you need to. Self-harm provides some form of cathartic release, but it's not healthy at all for you physically, and the catharsis you get isn't as all-encompassing or omnipresent as indulging your feelings to those close to you would be; that's how I see things and I think in most cases this holds true.

Yeah, I don't have personal experience but I know enough about depression from an observer's standpoint to know it's an uphill battle, it isn't as easy as 1, 2, 3. But the potential for improving yourself is always there, for improving your state of mind, and while it might not be easy or instantaneous, it's definitely possible and attainable, as long as you apply tenacity and continue to believe in yourself. And never forget that when you do falter, there are people thinking about you, and you can depend on their strength as well.

I hope at least some of that helps, that your relationship with your parents becomes more amiable and healthy, and that you yourself come to a better place and find a healthy outlet to cope with the experience. Stay strong, stay you, and stay positive as much as possible, and the struggle can become a victory regardless of how far you are from it.

I don't really think it's about your parents hating you. Sorry to be harsh but I really think your parents has high expectations of you that they don't like the hobbies that you might be doing.

Well, I could understand why. Right now, my parents are telling me that I won't get a nice career if i keep on typing stories all the time. (Truthfully they're fanfictions but they don't know that.)

In other families, if their child gets a good job, they expect their child to repay them. (TT^TT Cruel parents)

Well, based on what I read from your post anyways, you said that when you were typing something, your dad just scoffed at it. (Why?! I'm going to punch your dad in my dreams right now!! SO that I don't get arrested in real life. He'll feel the pain in his... uh... bad dream)

From what I've seen, parents these days are trying to survive their jobs. We all know that we don't like working too hard. Worrying too much would put them into too many personal thoughts that it might affect their performance and get fired.

But, I'm pretty sure that your parents really just want to keep things together. If they're shouting at you, they've got a lot of problems on their hands. At the same time, they should feel guilty for shouting at their own family and blood. If they can't keep things together, then it's the child's part to be tough and grow up a bit, mature a bit and fix things through. You won't be able fix it in one day, who would anyways? But at least, little by little, your family has to be closer than how it is today.



(If this isn't the answer you were looking for... I'm sorry but I tried. What I said up there can be an option though.)