Not long ago today me and my girlfriend were talking then she suddenly says "I have to tell you something.."
I'm not sure if I regret it or not that she told me that she went to the hospital with her mom for a check up and they said she might not live long when she's older.
We're young but just the thought of not having her by my side is painful. Me and her share our secrets and always tell each other the truth, we make each other laugh and smile everyday. We cheer each other up whenever we're down. She's stunningly beautiful but yet a strange hyper girl that always tries her best and is sensitive and shy a lot.
And she's just everything I could wish for, but she might disappear. We even set up dreams and goals of what we would do together when we're older. She promised me she'll always be by my side, and that she'll try her best to keep her health in better conditions.
But my feelings are conflicted about losing her. She's always been telling me that she's been getting a lot weaker and losing a lot more weight for a while now, especially even when she's been eating a lot.
Just now she told me she wanted to tell me nice things, because I always compliment her nice things. But I denied, so she asked me why.
Whenever I thought of the nice things she could possibly say, I feel like they'll be trapped in my head with painful memories of her that'll make me miss her more if she ever did 'disappear'.
I don't know what I'm suppose to do if I ever lose her. She's the first person I've ever really been honest to in my relationships.
And even knowing all of them she continues to stay with me. I don't know how I'll find another girl like her.
I've told her so many times, that no matter what condition she's in I want to continue being with her until the very end. And I mean it with all my heart.
Throughout these past 2 years I've lost 3 friends that are from my school.
One from suicide and the other 2 are from health issues. I don't want to lose my only hope too.
Hopefully this gets washed up by other posts, because I'm pretty sensitive about my posts.....
You're story is somewhat familiar to Jamich; they were Filipino couples who showcased their relationship via Youtube. But suddenly, 2 years ago, the guy was diagnosed with lung cancer and after battling the illness for a year, he died recently.
Try to watch their videos, it might help. Honestly, I haven't watched a single vid they uploaded and I'm only became familiar with them via news, specially the time the guy was diagnosed with said disease. Nevertheless, since it was mentioned that they document their relationship in the internet, perhaps even covering the period that the guy was struggling.
Sorry that I could not give you specific advice on coping up with an impending loss. Though one thing is for sure; she's not dead until she's dead (I think I've heard that somewhere though I don't know when and where). And so, try to enjoy every moment remaining; savor every minute left. I know it'll hurt possibly in the end, but at least, you make the most out of it until the very end.
I am incredibly sorry to hear your current situation. I i might offer you some advise,i would suggest that you read a book called the zahir by Paulo Coelho,some of the point that it talks about are not the same as yours but it does discuss the loss of love and dealing with the emotional connection to memories to others. I might not know who you two are but i do know that you are very lucky to have found one another and i know that she will need you by her side through this difficult period of her life. I do not know what the future holds but i wish you two the best of luck and a life full of happiness
Do not let the disease the limit ... I have had many diseases (some more complex than others) and I've noticed that most affects is mental and emotional. So here if you want to do something, do it. Funny see many movies, too animes; serve much. I trust that she will be fine ...: D
Make every moment with her count. I seriously hope that she doesn't succumb to her afflictions, and that she may live a long life with you. I hope she gets better! Make her laugh and laugh, it might help in making her better. Stay strong! I'll keep praying for both of you as well.
