I've stressing over my homework and life which isn't that bad but I can't help but be depressed about it. I'm really scared I might kill myself or hurt someone I love...I keep telling myself it's okay but it doesn't work...I don't know why I'm scared to ask help from my family and friends, but I can't...I punish myself for getting grades under a 95, I'm not failing any of my classes, or when I get yelled at by my parents. My younger sister says I'm just the "rough draft" of our family (I'm the eldest.) I keep thinking she's right and it'll be better to scrap the "rough draft"....How can I stop beating myself....?

Sounds like you have a need for perfection that's giving you tons of anxiety. I can kind of relate, I know what I'm capable of and I used to get absolutely livid with myself if I ever fall short of that. For me, I had to eventually get over my fear of failure or making mistakes. A mistake is only truly a failure if you don't learn what you need to from it and end up repeating it. A rough draft isn't a product, it's a tool you create on the way to your final product. When you find mistakes or things you don't like on your rough draft, you tweak them and improve them to better fit what you want your final product to be. After enough of these tweaks, any mistakes you've made have become woven into what becomes your pristine final draft. Therefore, you don't have to be happy about making mistakes, but you can become a much stronger person if you embrace them as they happen. And hey, they might be incredibly incredibly rare because you're pretty strong to begin with and that's why they seem so fearsome, but they're really just a natural part of growth. I hope my perspective helps you in some capacity.