Hey~
Chi-chan is back at the game!
How do you do? I hope you guys doing okay
Listen, I know it sounds strange for me to tell you this...but I need an advice

So it all starts on junior high school, I'm a shy girl who unable to talk to anyone else except for my ex and my childhood friend. I like him a lot, my ex that is. And stupidly I fall in love with the wrong guy with all of my heart. And one day, he curse me and making fun of me because my friend accidentally blurt about our relationship in the public.

My ex turned out to be creepy, he threaten me with withheld number, mocking and insulting me. I thought he was a good guy back then...I mean, when I'm down or shy he stand up for me. He's like the one who bring me out from my shell. But it turned out he's betraying me...and only manipulating me. Although a few years later we made up, but again....there's another conflict.

I'm angry at him because of his manipulative attitude. He asked my FRIEND to set up something on a girl cellphone to knows what's inside her cellphone, her messages and all. He's stalking this girl. And all of the sudden he hack my old Facebook account, telling stuff like, "I know your feelings from reading your old account, you love me right?".

"If that's the case, don't let me go".

He keeps saying those stuff and I ignore him. And after that he told me to take a pictures of my naked body and told me that I have to believe in him.
Duh, what kind of sick joke is that. But again, we made up but we rarely speak to one another. Well he's still manipulative and stinks but I already used with all of the craps.

But strangely after so many incidents with my ex, I feel neither pain nor sadness inside me. My friends last night, Jean scolded me for my behavior. He told me that I looks like a zombie, straight faced, wearing earphones all the time, acting like a guy. Jean said I need to change after the incident with my ex. True, slowly and surely I feel dead inside days by days, Jean very worried about me.

"Seriously what happen with you after your incident with your ex? It's already five years and you still bitter about it? You need to take care of your body", Jean scolded me.

Well...I lost my hair due to stress when I'm bickering with my ex back then. I'm sick now, a sickness about immune system or something like that.

I am straight faced, acting like a guy, to reduce the pain from the past but Jean basically scolded me for that --"
I don't understand...what happen with me?