Hey guys. I'm sorry for being a pain-in-the-neck but I am having a problem. A huge one that is really boosting up my anxiety.

You see, I am a girl who's been liking a girl for 3 years. Then a couple months ago, we started going out. Problems are: We have a long-distance relationship. She's depressed. I suck at comforting(I did say and do a lot of stuff to at least make her feel better but she won't just open up to me) I know I need to make her comfortable and don't push too much but that just adds up to my anxiety like, "Am I suppose to say this?" or "Did it sound displeasing?" And it just drives me crazy. Oh and I'm also depressed. And a coward.

Then there's this guy who's so amazing, he used his time just for her. And being a paranoid f-hole, I think she's better off with him. She told me she was glad she met him and she never told me she was happy to meet me. And in the past, all I get is a "You two are really the same." I feel like I was a replacement for a guy she really treasures(that would die soon. And I think he's the reason for her depression).

Then my friends are telling me I was really not in-love with her. And that I just rushed to relationship(Come on! I kept on debating with myself if I really like her for 3 years!). And that girls like girls for fun. I don't like it how they made it sound like I'm just doing it for fun. I really do care about her. I really do love her. She saved me. Not just for fun.

Then my parents don't know that I also like girls and they make it so obvious they don't approve with it. So I can never really tell them this. The doctor said I should cool-off with her because she's making my anxiety worse but I don't want that. I don't want to stop loving her just because of her depression and how it affects me. I just want her to lean on me just a little.

I do think of letting her go if she really do like her new friend. It just that I'm losing all my self-confidence because she tells him everything that she won't tell me.

Then I keep thinking things like, "If I die, will I finally be happy? Or if we finally live together, will I finally be happy?" And I think 2 depressed people is close to impossible. If we really have the opportunity to be together and she suddenly got depressed, I don't know if I really can help her or will she tell me the reasons. Or if she won't tell me, can a hug and a hot cup of joe are okay? I don't know. I don't really know how to communicate very well.

Then there's this dream(her dream) where we bathe in her own blood. She found it romantic. I found it romantic too but in the same time scary. I don't know what that means. And now I think it means that if I really am with her, I can't save her. She really means a lot to me. I was ready to ask her if she likes him better but even before I could ask her, she told me that she still likes me. And now, I'm lost as hell. I don't know anymore.

And I don't even know what I'm trying to ask here. Maybe some suggestion? Or help me decide? I'm sorry. Thank you.

There's a lot here, so I'm gonna take this one step at a time.

1) Who you like is your business and yours alone. Your friends aren't really the best judge of who is good for you. And if them talking about it hurts you, tell them so, and ask them to be more supportive or get lost.

2) Your anxiety is also yours. It's not her fault that you're getting anxious. So you need to take some time and figure out how to deal with that so that you can be there for someone else without imploding.

3) Long-distance relationships can work, but they require a lot of communication and trust. (Which, honestly, all relationships do, but if you're physically with someone, you can fake your way through a few years with other stuff before those two kill you.)

4) She's allowed to have male friends. It's good that she's talking to you about him. She's being open with you about that, and that's a good thing.

5) Sometimes, it's easier for us to talk to someone we don't care about than to talk to the people we do. It doesn't say anything about you (or her). I know it's frustrating, but being in love with someone doesn't mean that person must make you the beginning and end of their universe. If you love her, be supportive. If she needs to talk to this guy, let her.

6) No, you will not be happy if you're dead. You'll be dead. And no, it won't make anything better. To quote a great man, "Suicide is permanent solution to temporary problems." Or to quote Celty, "Life isn't as bad as you think."

7) Two depressed people isn't impossible. It IS a challenge, though. Mostly, if one person is having a moment, the other person is a rock. It's your job to be optimistic, realistic, and grounded. If you don't know how to be, there are lots of books, sites, and doctors willing to help you.

8) The dream... it probably doesn't mean anything. Honestly. I know it feels very real right now, because I remember being there and doing similar things. But it fades. Hormones play hell with the brain, and weird dreams are the least they can do. It's not your destiny.

Ultimately, if you want to be with this girl, then do your best, convey your feelings openly (including the ones that are making you sad right now, because you can't ask her to be open with you when you aren't being open with her), and dig in. It's probably going to be rough, but if you think she's worth it, then fight for it. We'll be here if you need anything. <3

>>2 Thank you very much for your time. Thank you for your advices. It do open my mind. I've been running circles if I should tell her about it. And I do let her talk to him. I am glad she's being happy because of him. It just that I don't know if I still deserve her.

But thank you for the advices. I'll try talking to her. Thank you again.