Hey guys. Sorry I feel like you guys have heard too many of my problems. I just need a place to write whats in my mind. Recently my friendship group split up into about 3 different groups, this happened because of a relationship or something. I was not a part of it, however I was kinda a help line for one of my friends, and therefore got told a lot of things that happened, and kinda got dragged into the situation whilst remaining invisible.I was neutral in the fight type thing that happened, I was on neither side, friends with everyone, and then the group split. One of the new groups mostly blanked me, I wasn't really great friends with them to begin with anyway. The second and third of the new groups both consisted of the people who were involved with what had happened during the fight and those who had picked sides. I was left in the middle. I kept going between the two groups, kept staying neutral, however the main girl involved didn't like this and wanted me to take her side. Whichever group I hung with, they would mostly bitch about the others, and because of this, I fell silent, I wasn't on a side, I couldn't bitch.And so I became hated by most people in one of the groups, the main group that I hung out with. And so I had to become solo, I wander the corridors alone, find a classroom and hang out on my own, do some work, I can't stand being with people.

Recently it was my birthday, and so today I went out bowling with a few friends. I had originally planned on asking almost everyone from the old group to come bowling, ask them if they could all maybe just try and get along for an hour or something. So I asked everyone 'I'm planning on going bowling for my birthday on the Wednesday, can anyone come?' (it was slightly different to that) and after about 7 hours people started answering, one guy who's been a dick to me recently said that he could depending on the time.Then from the people that answered, they said no they couldn't. So I left it for a bit, decided to ask a few people who were still talking to me and trying to help me, and they said they would go, so it got planned that 5 of us would go. And so the night before, the one guy who had said he might be able to made a really nasty comment about 'Did I just expect people to turn up?', in which I explained there wasn't much point doing it, and I'd planned to go out with a few friends instead. Then whilst we were bowling, a couple of people who I had invited originally turned up with a different group of friends, didn't notice us, went of too their own lane and started having their own game. At the time my friends got so annoyed with them however the only thing that annoyed me was the fact that they hadn't explained why they couldn't come (I would of understood then) but they hadn't. I didn't let it bother me at the time cause I was there to enjoy myself. However now is different.

I know feel kinda betrayed, like I've lost more people who I thought were friends. I feel lost, I feel like I'm slowly just loosing everyone who I thought were friends again. This is the third time I've lost my friends I think. They keep leaving me, blanking me, being horrible to me. Using me then throwing me out. I don't really know what to do now.

Well, since you're losing so many people- I would say strengthen the relationships that you have with your closest friends, and forget about those old ones who betrayed you. People aren't always trust worthy, but you need to find the ones that are. If you don't really have any friends, start over. I mean completely. start over and start talking to people at classes, or at work- whatever you do. You'll be fine. Just be confident. Good luck!

>>2 Thanks,I am sort of in a bad place recently, lots of bad things and thoughts. I'm mostly controlling myself at the moment, but like you suggested I will try making those friendships I have at the moment stronger.

>>1 There are always people who will love and appreciate you. I already thank you for existing and I don't you. I love all who are around me even if they aren't the nicest of people because I love the world I live in. Just remember, pay more attention to the ones who care. The world isn't as bad as you think

I would focus on the people that mean more to you, and vice versa. You will have a bunch of fake, or temporary friends, but only have a handful of real friends. I only have a couple to a few real friends, and the others I only did so since we shared similar interests at the time. In the past I did, and wanted, as many friends as possible. I learned quite fast that most people used me. The real friends stuck around and helped me.

Mainly stay with people that make you happy and vice versa. Be around people you like to have fun with and who you have a good time.

>>4>>5 Thanks guys, I have a couple of friends who are looking out for me, and like you've said I'll take your advice and stay with the ones who make me happy. I'm gonna try and take control of my mind and not let these thoughts change me.