I am writing this just to take it off my chest.

So, I live in the dorm for half of year now and I still haven't made friends. I have 2 roommates, but they don't spend so much time in the room, they only come to shower and change clothes and that's all. We practically don't talk to each other.

And that's the whole problem, I don't know how to start a conversation. I had some people in my life that I though that are friends, but it turned out that they only used me and I feel scared to talk to people because of that.

I really don't know what to do, all of that isolation is making me sad and lonely and I have the feeling that if I go away forever nobody will even notice that I'm absent. I fear that nobody will care that I'm not here.

I watch anime to go into a fantasy world, but the truth is that reality isn't an anime or a manga. The real world is around us and I don't know how to burn the invisible shell that I put myself into.

I am so sad and I don't know what to do.

Can you give me some advise please?

Sorry if I made some mistakes, English isn't my first language.

Imo, trying to make friends with people like roommates, neighbours or classmates isn't always a good idea, if it's right, it comes naturally, if you try to force it, they will end up using you like you said... and you can't really be friends with someone who doesn't share your mindset, hobbies, etc.

Hi there,

I had similar experience like you a year ago as a college freshman. And I'm still not friend with any of the people in my dorm (we're at most acquaintances). I didn't know how to start a conversation either since everyone is so different from me (like they're into the "real" world, not anime, manga, they gossip about relationship, parties, and stuffs which I have no clue, etc.). I often felt left out in the group since I couldn't catch up with the conversation. I forced myself to the group and pretended to be cool like them but trust me it was tiresome. So I gave up on the act and do what I like to do... which is volunteer at a local hospital, study, and be an otaku (lol). I was lonely (and I am still but I am not sad :)) but I chose to do what I love. That helps me ease the loneliness I often feels. Slowly I was able to find people who have similar interests and problems like me. Trust me you are not alone. There are definitely people out there who are willingly to know you!

As for tips to start a conversation, I usually start with a simple "how are you," "how are classes," how was your weekend," etc. Since I'm not good at prolonging a conversation myself, I tend to ask a lot of questions that give people opening to talk about themselves. It shows that you care about their stories and that you try to get to know them. And if something they say interests you, tell them you would like to get involved/ try out/ learn more about. If you're not comfortable talking face to face, find a chance to add them on Facebook, like people's posts, make friendly comments (keeping it low and not creepy of course). Online interaction can be practice for real life (just keep in mind that what you put online matters in real life too). Hopefully you will find yourself open to people around you.

Honestly, sack the fuck up and don't be a bitch. You don't need friends. No one needs friends. You get told everyday by society that friends are a necessary part of being an individual and leading a healthy life. That statement is absolute crap. Experiences and memories are what define people and in the end leave you fulfilled.

Just be brave and talk to them. If they shoot you down or whatever, so what? They're not going to go to their friends and say "that weirdo was being nice to me and I was a jerk to them", if that even happens. A friendly smile and a friendly hello is all you need for other people to take an interest in you. Just give them time of day.

Join a club or something, most people are a little like you with the whole social anxiety thing, and you'll find that the key to becoming friends with someone as an adult is consistent accidental contact.

But keep this in mind: only you can change your present situation. The longer you avoid establishing relationships with these people, the harder it is only going to become in the future for you.