My family is falling apart because of my dad's drinking problem where my mom might get another divorce and we might have to move and lose everything again. He's been to rehab and they said he was great but when he came back he got worse. I try to stay out of their fights but being the eldest I get dragged into it. Plus to add all of my stress from highschool and a medical problem that gets worse with stress. It has gotten to the point that I've been thinking about hurting myself, which scares me a lot. I haven't.

I keep trying to act happy for my friend so she doesn't have to worry but lately I keep blowing up on her and everyone else.
How do I stop this?

I can't say I've been in your shoes, but what I can give you is this. Don't ever think its your fault if something like this happens because if you do it could drag you in to a dark place. I have been to the point to where I had almost killed myself I'm not like that any more because of my faith. I got through my problems by talking to someone that I trust and it helped me. One question are you a Christian if so reading the Bible always helped me too. I don't know if this helped but please take it into heart.

Do you know why is he drinking ?

I'm not Christian. I don't belive in most of the bible Sorry. I don't really have a God(s) I look up to.
And he drinks whatever alcohol he can get. Dvd he isn't a funny drunk

He doesn't say why. He has been since 14

What Bureku said is true. Don't ever think it's your fault. Find someone to trust and tell them. Telling people what is happening can help relieve your own stress, even if they can't help. Continue talking to people you trust.

Is there someone you can speak with about that, like a friend or someone in your family ?

Sadly....no. It only stresses out my best friend then she starts crying and I can't tell my family because they will yell at me.
The reason I'm posting it really.
Another part of it is that I try not to bother people about my feelings or problems.

"Me time" is a very valuable thing. Find (better yet make) time to take a few hours to yourself every now and then and just pamper yourself. Buy some ice cream. Take a nap. Play some video games that enriched your childhood. Read a book you loved but haven't read in years.

I know these all sound like trivial, almost-pointless acts but I promise you as a man who experiences frequent panic attacks of some of the most extreme degrees, this will help.

Just everyone giving advice helps. Thank you

Don't 'stop' it, release it in a controlled way. And usually there is nothing much you can do in a quarrel between parents. All you can do is mediate.

It is scary getting yelled at, but you can't always be 'people pleaser' but you can't not be completely. Tell them what's hurting you and if you want it to get to them, don't make it too emotional, but have a lasting effect.

My bro's family was in that position, of course their little kids cant do much at this stage. As an aunt, all I could do was take care of the kids and explain to them that everything was okay and it would go back to normal.

I don't think anyone can fulfil the role of keeping eye on the situation except you.

You are really a good person, but now, if you find someone to talk with, don't hesitate. I do agree with what Bureku and Romilda told you,and an important thing is that you musn't lose your self confidence. Also, if you have an opportunity to relax yourself, do it ^^.

Oh, I forgot to add, you shouldn't self-harm yourself. I know that it may seem like it could relieve the pain, but, it really won't. I've self-harmed myself in that past and it only makes you more sad.

Update: my mother, sister, and I now only have $21 in the bank because of him. We used to have 1000 or so eariler today.

this website has really made me smile. Thank you all.

Do you have a friend you could stay with or at least take shelter with when things get really bad? That could really help you get away from it all and would probably be a nice distraction.

Actually my boyfriend lives across the street...he said I could stay with him.

My friend was going through a problem similar to this. She told me and our other friends and though we weren't really able to stop the problems we were able to comfort her and stop her from hurting herself like she has in the past. I think you should talk to someone. It might seem selfish and you might be uncomfortable sharing your personal problems, but I think it would help you more than you realise. And of course you could use this site. I hope everything works out well for you @Kurono

Well if you want I am 100% sure you can trust the Dollars so I know we wont mind hearing what you have to say.

Thank you. Really.

A new home means new beginnings but that doesn't mean you have to loose your old life. You can still chat with your friends and make new ones, I understand that it might be hard during a devours but stay strong ok?

Demons try to devour us every single day. Don't let them have you.

Ive had a similar case to yours,the way i managed was by just keep moving and surviving