Your first thought when you begin reading this will probably be one of indifference. However if you keep reading, perhaps you will find your curiosity holding you to the rest of what I say. It's no mystery that we all fear death, whether we're young or old. Sure, when we're young, we think we don't fear it, but we do. It's always there. Like that shadow in the corner of your eye, getting closer as the years go by. None of us want to die. And yet, at the same time, we don't crave eternal life. The chaos of life is so much more beautiful than the peace of death. But it's the existence of death that makes it worthwhile, isn't it? And yet still... I find myself perplexed by the whole thing. I guess a part of me just wants life to go on. I don't like the idea of an afterlife. I don't like the idea of giving this form of existence up for another. Not only that, but it's unlikely that one exists. Simple oblivion is the most likely ending. Though that one is also pretty shitty. I fear death like the rest of you. I may be young, yes. And there may even be those of you who scoff and say that youth shouldn't be a time of worry. Particularly about death. But I do fear it. It's always there, in the corner of my eye. Always right fucking there. A part of me wants to simply escape it as long as I can, and accept it only once I'm ready. Another part of me wishes I could defeat out entirely. That would be something, wouldn't it? "The man who defeated death". Has a nice ring to it... Though, nonsense aside, I do not fear death because of its uncertainty. Quite the opposite. I fear it because if its concrete, utter, surety. Do here I am. Wondering what to do. I'm not asking what I should do. I suppose I just needed to get my demons out into the air where I can see them. What I will do with them, I need to decide for myself. Will I fight? Will I run? Or is there perhaps another for I have yet to see? I suppose time will only tell... oh how it will tell. Though... I must say that in all honesty... I like the sound of, "The man who defeated death", much better than the other doors. Still, I have time to decide. So to all those who stayed with me until the end... thank you. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight without having to glance at my demons.
I know how you feel (As you said, most of us feel this way), but the thing that I fear most about death is the people I leave behind. I'd feel really guilty if I died now and my family would have to go through with the loss. But at the same time, I'd rather die first (I'm not suicidal, don't worry) just so that I wouldn't have to see my family die. With me being the youngest in the family, I'm afraid that even if everyone dies of old age, I'd still be last.
I'm cought in the dilemma that I don't want to be the first or the last...
5 Name: Shiro Neko : 2015-02-09 13:58 ID:YMS3G6E4 [Del]
I'm scared of leaving my loved ones behind and that's the only facet of death that scares me. I'm not terribly afraid of it if anything I kinda hope I go down in a really badass way.
