This is my first post on the Dollars, I feel that is important to through out there. I've been having a rough patch in my life and thought about joining an anon forum to get my feels out there. Just so you know, I have friends and a decent home life, I recently went through a break up that triggered a deep depression and dispite talking to the loved ones in my life I feel more alone than ever. So I thought this could be a good outlite for me. I'm 19 and in college dealing with all the life changing ordeals that come with this time in my life and never before have I had a relationship, specifically one that only last just over 3 months, effect me so much. But to be honest I don't think it was the break up that set this off but what it meant the really got me. He was perfect, everything I dreamed of in a partner, we had the same intrest and he is a great person. The problem was he didn't love me... This has happened before, someone is so great but they just don't feel the same about me as I do about them. We date and last a while but the one sidedness of it all kills me until we break up. I mean is it me? My loved ones say I just need to wait, the right person will come along. But seeing the lives of the females in my family lead me to believe other wise. It's been a few weeks now since the break up and I'm really depressed. I am a bubbly person, always the loudest, front of my group of friends, the leader that makes everything alright, I get my school work done when my friends goof off and am all around a fun person. But now I feel like its all a lie. I keep up what everyone expects of me but inside it seems fake. Empty. Even typing this to people I don't know if they will even read, like I'm just being dramatic. I don't know what I'm looking for in putting this out there... I guess I want to know if anyone else feels this way? Anyone out there the leader, loud, extrovert that makes everyone else feel better when really you just want to die inside? Without a real solid reason for feeling that way? Like your logical brain and emotions are at war? You know its stupid to feel this way and yet....

Oh my god, is it me writing this text??? These are exactly my feelings!
I'm also 19 and I had 3 kinds of romantic relationships in my life, but none of them had last more than 3 months. I'm also that "leader, loud, extrovert that makes everyone else feel better" person. I also keep asking myself all the time what the hell is wrong with me and why everybody else is dating but me. But at the present moment of my life things are a bit different.
First of all, there is probably nothing wrong with you. I mean, I don't know you, but from the things you said you look like a really nice person to me. See, the world is full of nice people, and many of them are single or hadn't find love yet. And it's not fault of who they are. It's not fault of who WE are. But, yes, maybe there IS something wrong with your atitudes. Now, you're one to look at yourself and think about this. Maybe you hadn't opened yourself truly to those you had feelings for, and they left you not knowing your truly self. Maybe you tried to rush things off, or maybe you should have had more attitude to make things happen. Or, yes, maybe you did everything right, and those were simply not the "ones".
By the way, this "the one" talk is kind of bullshit. These big emotional love stories happens rather in fiction or in very few relationships around the world. Many of these passionate couples are just young people idealizing things, and they break up as so many others. We are all trying to find somebody to love and if a person doesn't fit all of our expectations we don't even think of giving him a chance.

Well, I've said that today things are a bit different with me, and it is because I stopped trying to rush things up. Almost every person of my age I know isn't even looking for a stable, monogamic relationship. If I push it too hard on them, I would only push them away. People of older ages are out of question for me, because I don't live in the same coterie as them. So, all that's left for me is waiting for the right time. Meanwhile, I can dedicate myself to everything else that matters: my friends, my hobbies, my university, my work.
I, just as you, will find love in life. I believe that those who seek for something eventually always find it. My only advice is to break your expectations about love, because sometimes these expectations makes us blind to those who have sincere feelings for us. And finally, don't be too hard on yourself. Your friends loves you for a reason, don't they? I'd be worried if you had tell me that you didn't have any friends. But you do, and this is the proof that there's nothing wrong with you. Keep making new friends and living your life happily as you are, and someday somebody will see that thing that's special about you and then this person shall be yours. Don't worry :)

I'm around the same age and I can totally relate to what you're going through. I've always found it hard to connect with people and get close to them, save for a girl I met online a long time ago. Over a year ago we finally came clean about our feelings and started to date, but recently we've stopped dating because the pain of being apart was just too much weight on her shoulders. It's hard to lose someone you love, but it's even harder when something that feels right just doesn't work outside of your head. One of the biggest things I've learned in all of this is that there's no shame in admitting you're hurt. If you're exhausted with keeping up a facade with your friends and everyone else, take a break one day and just vent; if anything they'll think you're more human instead of some superhuman extrovert that's always calm and composed :P. Even coming on here and admitting something is wrong is a great thing to do, there are plenty of us that can relate one way or another. Take some time to reflect, love yourself, and learn to be resilient so that you're in good shape and are ready for the next opportunity that luck throws your way. Just keep your eyes and your mind open and don't ever feel like you're incapable or even undeserving of being happy. And if you ever falter along the way, don't be afraid to confide in the other people in your life, whether that means your friends or people like us. Take care!

Thank you guys it was helpful to get some outside opinions. For now I'll focus on the good things and what makes me happy, maybe in time I'll find someone but either way that shouldn't be what defines me or any of you. We are strong leaders, but we are human and that's okay too.

Keeping a positive attitude and looking after yourself are exactly the things that are going to help now, even if they're hard to believe in. Just like there are positive things about the experience itself you'll always want to hold onto, there are (unfortunately) some pretty important lessons to learn from trying and not succeeding, so keep an eye out for those. Like you said, we're all human and part of being human is being hurt. If you or anyone else reading this ever needs to vent about stuff like this or just wants to talk (or spam me to death, I accept that risk), my skype name is biscuitdoughandsman. I'm definitely not a guru in any subject but I've always put a lot of faith in my online (and offline) friends. But no matter how much your friends and family are there for you, at the end of the day you'll always have yourself for sure, so look after yourself.

It seems to me like you are emotionally perceptive. That's why you're prone to overanalyzing your emotions and have a hard time feeling autencity of your own emotions. It's nothing strange, it's a good thing actually.

F.K. I think your right. I always analys my emotions and try to think logicly over emotionally I guess to try and keep myself from getting hurt which doesn't always work as we can see.

In my experience, being the on path of bettering myself has become both troublesome but rewarding. Imagining myself as a person who takes responsibility and looks out for others has always been an ideal. In reality, it's a hard thing to do, because it makes you feel like there are extra expectations and burdens to carry. Or it may feel like there isn't a "leader" in life for yourself. With whatever feelings that may arise, it often makes one feel exhausted or fake. I think it's just mainly because being the leader has its mental and emotional tolls. Like what others have been saying, it is crucial to give yourself positive attention and care.

Knowing yourself and analyzing your emotions can be a very good thing in doing this. Though, just as with everything, it is only good in moderation. With whatever path you take, there will always be mistakes, but they are only chances to learn more. The successes and people you look for will come around in time. However, this is different from saying things like "just wait for them to come around": essentially, just going down your own path on your own terms will at least give you possibilities of favorable events. With these possibilities, new people or opportunities will arise. Knowing when to be patient and when to apprehend certain will help you stay positive.

>>1 I can totally relate to you. Unrequited love does hurt a lot! and you guys did last a long time, I've gotta say, I admire how strong you are! When I was in your situation, I was a wreck!! I might have got him but I didn't have his heart at all, it is painful that you want to get rid of the pain but in doing so you need to let go. It's been a month since and I've gotta say, it still hurts like hell BUT I know somewhere out there will love me as much as I loved him... and so will you! You will also find him in the most unexpected time and way.

:) The World isn't as bad as you think

LOL :v to long i'm to lazy to read this

Wow thank you everyone I never expected to get so much feed back. It means a lot to know there are people out there who care and have similar experiences. Its been a few weeks now and it still hunts but I find myself distracted with other things, classes and friends, so I don't think about it as much. Yesterday was rough I had a lot of time alone to think and thats never a good idea but you've all helped me so much thank you. Its hard to be a leader but its support from people like all of you that help make it worth while.