こんにちは。私の名前は明です。２０歳です。

I've been going to this university for 3 years now, and I doubt if I've been more alone in my life. Freshman year there was a girl in my life, but this isn't about her. She was my dearest and closest friend, and with her I felt confident and happy. But the next year she dropped out of the school and moved across the country. We broke up months later because the distance was unrealistically large. I'm now a junior and feel absolutely friendless. I struggle with depression and social anxiety. I no longer have confidence, or drive, or motivation, or happiness. I miss my family and my remaining friends at home constantly. Although I have been losing friends at home too. My family is being broken apart. My parents are getting divorced. Our old house that we were very attached to, that I was attached to, we had to move last summer because my mom could not afford our old house financially. Recently one of my close long time friends at home, I told her everything, and she was my go-to when I felt depressed or down. She told me she was sick of helping me. She made me feel like I didn't deserve a friend in the world, like the worst person on earth. We haven't spoken since that conversation, but she meant a lot to me. That devastated me; I sobbed for hours that night. Now I feel nothing but rage when I think of her - I feel betrayed and empty. I don't know how I can keep going, how everyone else does it so easily. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm expected to find an internship in my program this coming summer, find a focus I'm interested in, and after I finish my degree next year, I'm expected to start a career. Everyone else in my major knows what they're doing and where they're going and they have the drive and ambition to do so. I have very little left that keeps me going. I do my schoolwork and I attend classes and I get A's because I can't handle the stress it would cause if I did not. But I'm still alone. I've given up on myself and all my goals. I wanted to be a great pianist, a great violinist, but I can't find the will to play. I wanted to become a black belt, but I left my martial arts program, and I no longer have the will to fight. I wanted to become a great linguist, I wanted to study abroad, but I no longer have the will to study. I want to be a great musician, but that isn't my area of study. I have lost interest in my major. I don't know how to pick myself up after this endless parade of disappointments, failures, and rejections in my life. If you could send me some kind thoughts, it would help. Thanks. I feel better already. Things are heavy right now.

Sad to hear how cruel life can be some times. Things happen whether you want them to or not, all we are left to in life is to do the best of the things we have. I've been trough most of the things you written here. It's at least nice to think that it can't really get any worse than it already is. you've been trough some shit but you haven't lost everything.
You have good grades and a long life to go. so what if you don't have any friends. You can always find new friends if you try.
I hope you get back on track soon. Take care ^^

I'm pretty similar, a bit luckyer I guess ^^', but you're definetly aren't the only one who feel that way..
Only things that keep me going are distractions (gaming, etc.) and... a wish, I wish I could die whilst not alone, even though I believe that wont be possible..

I'd suggest just watching how your life works our for you a little and try to have slighty more initiative, if you get lucky once, you might have a friend you could help out, and she/he'd help you back. (:

I know how you feel. I moved from my home state a couple years ago and I've been alone for about a year now since my ex and I split up. I'm stuck in a job I don't want to do until the next semester of college starts up or until they find someone to replace me. My life is just an endless loop of doing things that I have to do but really don't want to do, and it seems it just gets worse and worse.

But that's life I guess. This became apparent to me in the last year when just one thing after another went wrong. Despite the fact that I absolutely abhor my job, I still go in and do it because people need me to. And - despite the fact that I really can't stand it - I still feel better for going in and doing it, because if I can go in and do something that almost makes me physically nauseous, I feel like I can handle anything life throws at me. And no matter how bad of a day I'm having, I take solace in knowing that it won't last forever. I'll be out of here and going to school again and finally getting my life moving forward. I feel the same applies to you in a way. Just keep at it man. I know how alienating college can be sometimes, but things are different in the workplace. This won't last forever.

I'm so sorry. You must be so sad, I feel like crying. I wish I could be there to help you, I wish we knew each other, I really want to help you all that I can but I'll just give you some advice for now. I used to not have friends either, it wasn't until recently till my friends list started growing, I have a feeling you will find more people that care about you and respect you as an equal. If you want to talk about anything you can alway go to the Dollars, we will always help each other out. From this point on I wish you happiness.
SĮNCĘREŁY
ARYA