So I just found out about an hour ago that one of our good friends of the family from my church died today, she collapsed during the choir rehearsal today and they couldn’t bring her back. Thing is, I was supposed to be at rehearsal, but my family decided we’d go out to eat today, so I didn’t go to this one. Right now I’m feeling both lucky that I missed it, and regretful that I missed it. I know that was simply devastating for my friends and everyone else who was there. To watch her just drop to the ground. Worse still, her daughter sings in the choir too and was there. To watch her mom just collapse like that and not come back, just right there on the spot. This is without a doubt the worst moment of her life. Her little sister was probably there too. All of them witnessed that tragedy today. I just think, had I been there I would have seen it too. Just hearing the news was bad enough, I’ve just been crying… but if I was there… I can hardly wrap my head around it. And so I’m glad I wasn’t there. It would’ve been too much. But at the same time… it would have been my last time seeing her alive. In those few fleeting moments before her collapse, I could have enjoyed her presence. I could have been there, in that moment, with everyone else as it happened. To scream with them. To cry with them. To sob, yell, break down, anything, everything… and then I could have been there together with them as we tried to keep each other together and be there for each other during such a tragic time. So I’m just feeling this mix of feelings right now. It’s so hard to believe. I don’t really feel like doing anything… I feel like anything I would normally do right now wouldn’t really help me feel better, but at the same time I kinda don’t want to feel better yet? I want to give this proper time… even though I know that tomorrow will be more than sad enough because I’ll be at church and everyone will be there and thinking about it and all the emotions will just spill over, I just… I don’t really wanna feel any cheering up right now at this moment… I wouldn’t feel right to be able to push my sadness aside so easily. I don’t feel right to try to distract myself right now. I want to respect this moment and the awesome, influential woman that Maryann was… she was supportive, talented, funny, and just a great person to have around…this is just so sad…..

I understand. I'm actually scared of seeing death upon someone that I knew, so I would probably care... a lot, in fact, in what happened. Just a short story, but I do remember when my dad was informed that my grandfather died, we went all the way from the US to ROK, but I was only a naive, still growing 5-7 year old (I really don't remember...). I didn't know anything, and so I sat with my sister and brother from being in of the trouble at my grandparent's house. And again, several years back in 2010 when my family went to ROK, without knowing, my mom's best friend's husband died... and seeing her bawl her eyes with dripping tears... I felt empty.
How should we do it? Why does this happen? Yet I barely knew who died or not... it still made me so empty and so... helpless.
Is she feeling better? Or is she still struggling? It would be the best to reply back ^^

If she isn't feeling better, please try to stay strong though. I hope it really doesn't bother you too much. Support your friend too. Hang out with her more often. I don't want her to fall back behind you. It might take some risk in your life, but it's for your friend's sake. Please stay close to her as a friend. I don't want to be too involved (also that I'm not much of a expert in socializing ) but please try, if she isn't feeling good at any time.
Hope my advice has some benefit, or that you're already supporting her with your own way. :)

Thanks a lot for your reply, it means a lot... <3
She was doing okay the last time I checked, but her little sister was sort of in shock and still sort of in denial I guess? She hadn't cried, she just sorted acted as normal... I guess she has to really grasp what happened...
But yeah, I will do my best to let them both know that I'm there for them and that I understand.

Their mom's funeral is this Saturday, if all my friends get together afterwards to support them, I'll do my best to be there too.

>>4 Just try to have her and her siblings from commit suicide, alright? I don't want any of that, nor would anybody else. :)

>>5 help*
You poor thing. One word is all it takes.

>>6 I said "support" several times from >>3, there's my answer. Let's bump this convo real quick ;)

>>7 chill i wasnt making fun of you. Of course it's obvious.

And y bump this? it's really up to OP if they still need help.

>>5 Yeah... I think they'll be okay they, they have a lot of people surrounding them who love them and who make sure that they know they're loved... when their mom was taken to the hospital, so many friends and family came to surround and support them, and so I think they'll be okay... <3

The funeral is tomorrow though, I know it'll be tough for all of us and I'm still kinda not ready but... it'll be okay. Thanks for all of the comments <3