Hi, I saw a similar post from a person who wants to be less shy and it kind of encouraged me to ask for help.
I tend to push people away or I am actually to shy to talk to them which is a weird combination. The problem is I am most of the time straightforward (I still try to say things in nicest way possible) and although I know quite a lot of people I still feel uncomfortable with them and usually want to run far far away and stop existing all together. Does anyone has this type of thing to be cold but caring for other people? Some of my best friends say they appreciate my honesty but others say they sometimes find this intimidating ...

Hi there im kinda the same as you. Im way straight foreword and say things flatout. Some people like me for it and some get intimidated, some even find me rude for it. And my closer friends also like my honesty.

As for the shy part, untill i was 16-17 i had close to no friends partly due to my own arrogance towards other people. But i started in a new place in a new town. And at a chance at being social i just let go and acted natural towards people.
Guess what im saying is that it helped me just randomly hanging out with new people, and starting conversations with people. And now i have a growing group of friends and im still just being myself.

I kinda glad to see that I'm not alone on this even though this 'quality' is not the easiest to have. Do you ever feel .. like lonely sometimes because of this?
I know this is partly why I don't want to have romantic relationships (if I ever get a chance haha) they won't work out... or just regular acquaintances they won't understand what I mean :( but I also like this quality of mine I don't like lying or sugar coating things

I'm in uni now so I kind of try to get over the ''shy'' part. I even put myself in a martial arts society to meet people hopefully this will disappear in time :) Thanks for the reply!

Yes with this "quality" i can usualy feel very lonely, it can push and scare a lot of people away. And i can tell you from my personal experience in a romantic relationship my personality takes a 180 turn. I become humble and a more likeable person in general, i think it would be the same for you. Also on the part of sugarcoating things or softening my words up mostly just turns out making me look weird, and gets me nowhere. Allways happy to respond :)

Same here! I get shy a lot when I'm conversing with people, and I can't look at their face when I'm talking, I think it just takes time and practice to help you out. Try to open yourself to new people, since your in Uni an ther is no way you know everyone on campus, try to sit beside new people during lectures, or at lunch in the cafeteria. Joining clubs is another great way to help aid your "Shyness", especially a Drama or Acting club, those will boost your self-confidence. Just don't be scared to trying new things or to talk to new people, Im sure there are lots of people that are feeling the same as you are!

>>6 I hope I'll find someone who can deal with me trying to push away and I'll connect to them. Thank you again Nickolaj for answering it makes me feel better :)
>>7 I get what you mean about the eye contact, I'd rather look everywhere but eyes ... I've been in uni for three months now and I think shyness is slowly but getting better. Funny it is that after I did drama lessons at age of 12-13 that this whole thing started ^^''
Thanks for responding! ~

>>8 allways happy to respond and help out. :) And it is very rare for me to see someone with the same "quality" as I have.

Ive been like that for a very long time and I noticed the same thing Nickolaj has...a new place does feel as a new start...a place, where people dont know you...and you can become whatever you want to them...whatever type of person...its best to be yourself, but...you can try being more open with them, push some of your topic barriers..things you arent used to...I do agree it takes courage, but after a decent time of lonliness...it stops to matter...it pissed me off...a lot..I had no guts to talk to a girl openly...not even thinking of a date...of course, Im yet to find a gf, but..at least my "oddness" doesnt stand in the way up front of it