Hey, so my mom's husband told me and my seven year old sister to go fuck ourselves. I'm seventeen and he is about 45, and we have always had issues. He's mom's fourth husband and I have been through all four of her marriages, so of course I never opened up to him. I didn't expect him to be around longer than the rest. I still don't. And he has always been a condescending ass to me and my siblings, just with the way he talks to us. He also threatens to put his three sons through the wall and punch them in the head. Cps visited a few months back and threatened to take all of us, but it didn't seem to phase him.

Anyways, we've never gotten along and he claims he wants to fix "us." I've been putting forth effort for that, even though I don't want to, and he hasn't. So when he and mom were arguing (nothing new) he said he felt unappreciated (again) and said if we don't appreciate him (He looked over to me and my sister at this) that we can go fuck ourselves.

Last night I told him I don't want to work on "us" anymore because of it. Am I wrong? Should I keep trying? Should I have never opened my mouth? I feel like I should have left it alone, but at the same time I don't. What do yall think?

>>2
I meant he wants to fix our relationship.

Ah well it takes two to do so. I never fixed my relationship with my dad. I will never view him as a true father figure. If the guy is a total jerk then I wouldn't view him as a father figure either. Just push him off as somebody you should act nice in front of and nothing more. He might want to be treated more like a father, but that only comes when one acts accordingly.

He doesn't sound like someone you should let into your life as a father, since it will just let you down, as it did me. Treat him nicely, but only do things you want to if you really want to try and mend a father daughter relationship.

Also everyone makes mistakes, but when those mistakes pile up they are habits.

If he wants to fix your relationship then he should put an effort in to do so.. i think u were right. I would have done the same thing. -Zukuto

If you think he's actually trying to make up with you guys, you should try to help. Bit always remember that he may be a backstabbing little bitch and ignore/abuse you guys when he's pissed.

Also tell your mom about this, she needs to know something like this is going on.

I've never really been in that situation but I know it would be hard. It kind of reminds me of the story of Tobius Wolff, a boy who has been in a very similar situation to yours. It's an actual story and very interesting if you'd be interested to know.

>>1 i have been through this situation my step-father always said the same things,he had a alcohol problem,we was always talking about that nobody in my family appreciates him,when he was drunk he threaten to kill us,and he said i has a failure(in that time i had been permanent excluded from a school and i was a neet for some time and don't confuse hikikomori for a neet)he hit my mom,he breaked furniture and etc,we only had seen that he was wrong when my mom called the police and they jailed him for a 1 day and he his waiting for trial,he his now making treatment for his obsession for alcohol ,but he was only a piece a shit when he was drunk,when he din't drink alcohol he was a good guy that cared for his family.i don't really know what you should do,because they only realize what they have been doing is bad,when something major happens and they remember why that major situation happened.sorry i don't really have any sort of solution to solve your problem

Ty guys. Mom knows about it and has, but said nothing except "Don't talk to them like that." this has been going in for years and the go fuck yourself was a first and kinda pushed me over the edge. So he doesn't actually want to fix things, I think, if he hasn't even tried over the years.

take care of your sister

there are plenty of choices. you said you are 17 right or i'm just assuming it? when you turn 18 find your own place far away. then tell your mom you want to take care of your sister too. 2 birds one stone. wait until the thing is settled. if something good happens, good for you. if he's still there. i suggest wait for the good thing to happen and just endure on working hard. because i believe that hard workers are repaid with good luck and fortune.

make up some damn good problem and slit his throat.

>>13 well that is also possible, but i won't recommend it. maybe plant in some hidden cameras, and if he is caught in it being abusive to you guys, show it to the cops.... well i also don't recommend it, but it's your choice which one you want to do.

No matter what happens after, if anyone is abusing you then you have to stand up for yourself. Personally if I were you I would of called the police months back, or at least gone to live with someone else. If you're in an environment where you don't feel safe or there is verbal abuse occurring, I would suggest you do something about it. If you can't, then at least tell your parents how much this is affecting you, don't be afraid to voice your opinion and worries.

>>15 the problem is normally they parents don't really listen do the son,they think things will get better and we can't forget the parents probably like each other

you do realize that it´s really bad if your father does not want to have a relationship with his own children, REALLY BAD. so i beg of you. take my advice and protect your sister and try to talk to an adult about this! because a child should NEVER EVER have to be afraid for their own home. and trust me. i have been thought this before so do something before it´s too late and nothing will never change if you don´t do anything about it. but don´t face him eye to eye. you have to `attack`passive and talk to people that maybe runs foster families. i´t isn´t that bad since you are allowed to keep contact with your mother/father even if you live in your foster family. i know that because i have lived in a foster family for over 6 years now. and it´s great since you get allot of siblings as well that will be there for you if you are ever in need to. and besides. staying silent about problems is like watching a victim getting beaten up by bullies

>>17 true

1:i know it's very hard but speak to someone about this. or nothing will change.
I ask m friend to tell a adult for me it made things easier.
2:if no one helps like >>17 said protect your sister.
3:It's your house protect what's your only if no one helps help your self with words. make him feel like he wins but in turn you really are winning I call it "charmspeaking" if you need help learning it i'll be happy to teach you.
4:just know if he hurts someone in that house you have self defence on your side in the court of law if he touches someone. Just know you Can protect them.

It's exatly like fighting a demon in your house. they don't go away until you use will power and strength to protect yourself.

P.S sorry about your problem if you need ehm "help" just ask

don't let thing get out of hand thou

Try contacting the police. This sounds potentially abusive, and doesn't seem to be safe for anyone in the house.

Guys, the officials have already been out here. They got called again. Nothing is gonna happen with them, I think. I have tried talking to them about it multiple times and nothing has changed. I am doing what they can to keep my sister safe.

maybe try talking to your mom seriously about it and all three of you get the hell out of there stay strong and always try to think clear. i know how it is living in fear and i think i understand you a little keep your head high no one deserves to be put down by someone whatever the situation say what you feel instead of regreating it years later

This guy better hope he doesn't meet me. Otherwise it will be all out war.