My life, where I live, even my friends and family. I live in a pretty small town where there are rarely anything new happening. There's not much I could do with my life here. I find my classes to be boring, even the ones that I would usually enjoy being in. I love my family and friends, but I can't find any pleasure in being with them; I know that I'm basically driving a wedge between our relationships. I even try to stay inform on the gossip at school, thinking that it may hold my interest, but knowing about who is hooking up with hook got dull after a few weeks. I tried out for sports, but still ended up unhappy. I'm in orchestra and band at school, but they don't change on how I feel. I feel as though my life, particularly school life, is just a chore that I have to deal with.
I don't know if this is depression. I have nothing to be depressed over. My life is fairly well; my parents are good people, I get along fairly well with my relatives and classmates, I have friends, and I receive good grades at school. There's really nothing wrong with me, yet I feel so..hollow. Empty, almost.
I try to keep myself as busy as possible. Got really into the fine arts, work out a lot, put extra amounts of effort into school. I even watched more animes and T.V. shows, or read some books and mangas. But it doesn't really help.
I tried telling my parents, but I don't want to worry them or make them worry too much over me. Same with my friends. Sometimes I wonder if they would care about this. I don't cut or think about suicide; nothing. It's just this feeling of an empty hole.
I know that this is affecting my social life. Probably even with school. I need this to be gone; fixed. I want to go along happily with my life.
Is there something wrong with me? Is it depression? Or just plain boredom, like how Mikado felt before coming to Ikebukuro? What do I do?
I'm not an expert by any means on this topic so take everything I say with a grain of salt. With that out of the way, what you are describing sounds a lot like a mild form of nihilism.
This basically means that you can't find meaning in your life to do stuff.
What I suggest is that you find a good reason to do things. It could be anything from wanting to impress someone to you just want to do it because it seems cool to you. I feel like this might be the answer to your problem.
Again, I want to stress that I could be completely wrong about your situation, but I sincerely hope that my words help you out in some way, shape, or form.
>>1 hey hey I know one that can keep you busy and interested, aim to become.....a celebrity(?)! Not only will it take a while but also take a bit of effort and the internet.
been through the same thing. this might sound strange, but I find it helps if you find one thing about yourself that's weird or different. you can literally form an identity around that. do creative stuff. think up stories. you don't have to share your ideas with anyone (although you can if you want to). I just find that trying to come up with stories makes you notice all of the interesting parts of your life. there are probably a lot more than you realize. :P btw this is from the perspective of an introvert. if that's not you then Mamorou's is a great idea.
I'll try to find something that will push me to keep on going.
I'm going to join Theater and Art next semester, and then some language classes next year. I'm going to try to find something that may help me get along with my life and find happiness. I want to have a New Year Resolution that actually involves something that I am willing to put my time and effort into, and I want it to be something that I enjoy. Again, I thank all you for the advice!
