I just wanted to let this out and being anonymous is the best way.
Its just a bit of my past, ignore if you want.

My first primary school was hell, the teachers and the students bullied me. My parents divorced when I was 7 and I had to change schools, leaving behind the few friends I had. My new school was slightly better, I made lots of friends but then a new girl came and turned them all against me. I was to scared to tell anyone, they told me if I did tell, they would bully me more. They even once stretched to physical violence, taking my things and once even biting me.

Then we patched things up and went to secondary school, things were good. But then i had family issues, you see, my grandad is a disabled, sexist, alchoholic. He verbally abused me and left me emotionally traumitised. I have tried to keep out the suicidal thoughts and stay happy.

But recently i hit a rough patch in my friendship, and sometimes my friends will just ignore me and ditch me. Noww the suicidal thouhts have come back, and stronger. My dad has been getting increasingly angry at me and i don't know what to do with my life.

Sorry for the long post thing, thank you for reading :)

How come your father has been increasingly angry?
I apologise for my rudeness in asking such an impolite question though.

I'm not sure, but I think maybe he's sick of my recent mood swings, i will get angry over tiny stuff. That and it might be to do with my grandad, who's now pressuring me, along with my brother, to see him again.

I'm so sorry

I'm hopeful that you'll meet somebody that will change everything for you and this will all be in the past.

stay strong, be hopeful. find inspirational movies on Google or books if you like reading.

good luck, man.
you have so many years ahead of you.

If you don't know what to do with your life just decide to make things happen !Tell you you're lucky because your situation could have been worse ! There so wonderful things in the world and many wonderful person, you inevitably meet a wonderful person. Be just strong and ignore all the hurtful things, just think of all the things that you find cool in the world and all the stuff that you love to do ! I know, i'm very silly for say that.. but all i have just said is true and it works

Thank you :)

Dear Baconator,
I understand those feelings when you're under pressure & those suicidal thought
I too in the past always thinking to commit suicide because my father always get mad at me for little stuff
Moreover, at that time I'm are extremely sensitive. Just a little pressure & I'll suffering stress for a whole day
Trust me, one day you'll meet someone who truly understands you. I also had found one too & we've been bestfriends for 8 years :)
Just think those trouble as a test in life, a test to make you stronger
I too had been bullied & the person I treat like my best friends leave me without reason (not the 8 years one).
I too had been traumatized for making friends because of that. But because of that, I can overcome some of my over-sensitive feeling & expressed myself
So the point is, don't give up! Life isn't so unfair. If you seek the light, you'll find someday ;)

>>8
Thank you :) I'm trying not to give up, because if i go, then that means that i missed my chance at making my life better. I hope i meet that person like your 8 years best friend. Thank you for your kind and inspirational words :)

You're welcome :)
I'm glad to be help of you

Dan?

It's your life you get to decide what affects you and what not. You can act to feel better by joining clubs, join sports and make new friends. Environment of what you are in can affect you. The place where you are just gives you negative thoughts. Remove yourself from that environment and engage more into a more positive such as achieving a goal, joining clubs. Do something to remove yourself from that negative environment such as drawing, excercising, reading, watching anime. Well best of luck to you. You just need to find that one person who will support you. I'm in no position to make advice as I have not experiences what you have, but all I can say is what I THINK would be good advice. I just hope I helped you mentally or physically.