Hiya~~!
Chi-chan is back! How are you guys doing? I miss chatting in this web...you know Chi-chan have been thinking all this time...for what reason we born? I mean logically we all grow up, study, working, then die in the end. Actually I'm bored living...you could say, I don't have any goal or purpose all of this time. I dunno why I don't feel like talking about this with my friend. I mean they all have goals and purpose to achieve, it would be strange if I said anything like I'm bored of living...

I have another friend that said that she's also bored living, but of course as her friend I encourage her...even though actually I'm also the same as her. I don't want to make my parents sad because of what I'm thinking, and I pretend to be strong and encourage other people...even though I had low motivation.

The only thing that makes me alive now is humans observing. I mean observing humans never bored me because each person have different perception and personality from another. One of my friends even said that I've become too obsessed with humans observation. I dunno whether I'm obsessed or not but it looks like what my friend said about me obsessed about humans are correct.

What should I do? What is your opinion about this?

Chi-chan, there's nothing wrong with observing other people. I also appreciate that you try to motivate others. I'm also somewhat like that. What I think is that you already know the answer to your question, but like all other humans, you need someone else to tell you this.
Anyway, you are bored with life, right? But think of life as a game of infinite proportions. I think you consider it boring because of the infinite ways you can play the game. Even if you think you are an insignificant part of the game, me, you and everyone else has the capacity to grow to anything you want to be. That is what I sincerely believe. You can be anyone you want to be in this awesome game called life. The only necessity is will.
It may be true that we all are going to die one day. But, Life is short, isn't it? Like a great anime, you know it's going to end one day, but that doesn't stop you from watching it, does it? Don't you want your game to be filled with everything you consider good? Don't you want it to be a wonderful adventure? So, stop gazing at all the paths in front of you, instead, select one and start blazing to be person who you want to be!

Also, try to admire the beauty in all that is happening around you, even simple things like how your dress in waving in the breeze, et cetera. I'm just so damned lucky to be born. I don't even think Heaven is going to be more beautiful than life! Don't you? All this made my mind a bit clearer too , thanks!

>>2
Thank you for the advice, I'm truly grateful. It's just that since my friend betrayal, I've become skeptical about life. Me and my friends already make up though, but the pain still there I suppose...when I mention humans observation, my friend would look at me as if I'm crazy or something...my friend who betrayed me the other day even leak my secret of humans observation to somebody else, which makes me more cornered than before...

Chi-chan, don't worry about what your friends did to you. Unless you plan on killing somebody, you're not crazy. Psychologists observe people all the time, right? Still they're not crazy. I think there are only two reasons why your friend betrayed you.

One, they just don't understand what you're thinking, and probably got tensed. It's only natural for humans to fear what they cannot understand. Of all persons, you should know that. They are probably concerned about you. Naturally, you don't have to worry about this at all. As being the one with more understanding on your hobby, you shouldn't be feeling any kind of negativity. You can try to make them understand, but don't be sad if it doesn't work out. You will eventually find someone who can understand-no, who can listen to you and stand with you. It's really hard, almost impossible to find someone who truly understands you. But you can always find someone who listens to you. (I sometimes deliberately hurt my close friends to see how long will they go, and finally I got one single guy, who seems to be at peace with all the nonsensical and seemingly illogical things I do :D) Doing something you believe in sometimes accompanied by loneliness. If you're not afraid of the loneliness then nothing is going to stop you. But people are born differently, so maybe you like your friends with you, if so, then you'll have to wait until you find someone who can back you up.They say that life isn't fair. But I don't believe that. Even if it seems so, it will be fair in the end, if you don't give up. Be strong. And prepare your mind to overcome any obstacle. A simple thought like "I will endure this." go far in changing you.

Or you try not bringing up a topic your friends don't like in front of them is the way to go, I believe. It is OK to do so. You might think that, Is it OK that I cover up my personality in front of my friends? It's perfectly OK. That's human nature. Everybody do that in their own little ways.


Reason two, they are sadists. This probably is never the reason, right?

Don't lose heart no matter what! :D

I see, indeed you're right about that. I'll try my best then :)

Are you sure this is the answer you wanted?

Hi Chi-chan!

For now, until you find a better purpose and get back into-life, just hold on to that human observing interest. If that motivates you, just hold onto it.

In time you will find many more interesting things to keep you entertained :) but for now is good even this hobby.

Just be strong on this belief, and then you will become better and see beauty and motivation in all the tiny little things.

Sometimes I feel like I have an old soul. Even thought I am just 20.
Remember, those is just a faze in your time. Just like in many others. It will pass and became so much better in time.

Best regards!
Minus

* this is just a faze in your life time.

I just read the entire post and I can say I know that friends betrayal doesn't feel good. But don't worry. You will find better people who are worth be friends with.

I had someone I really trusted. A few years back. But then parents got between us and we were separated. It was very hard to get strong. I didn't even knew that there was such a sentence as "be strong and move on" or "stand up".

No matter what people say, just be true to yourself. You will never regret that.
If that friend left you, then don't worry. You will be much better without her/him.

Not everyone around you is meant to be friends with. Just pick up the best ones.

>>6
All of what you said makes senses, it was nice getting an advice from you Kannon-san :)
Since I'm the type of person who use my logic more than my feelings, your advice somewhat inspired me.

>>8
Thank you Minus-san, it is tough to for me to trust anyone else after my friends betrayal though. Trust is like a piece of paper, and once you tear it apart, it's hard getting it back. We're best friend for seven years but I can't believe she use my secret to backfire me. I suppose you're right about there's another friend that more suitable for me. And here I thought I'm weird for observing humans...thank you for the advice :)

I'm glad I could help :P And yeah, what Minus said is right. This community is really cool lol! :D

Yes it is Kannon-san~
I agree with your opinion about this community. I found many kinds of people in this community and I find it fascinating to observe every last one of them. It helps on my observation of humans research. Looking at people thread and observe their reaction is quite entertaining I say~

....I did it again, I'm sorry if I'm too talkative about this kind of thing