Hey.. Thank you for taking the time reading this. I'm seriously about to lose it. I have a nice group of friends, I have an okay family and my grades are decent... But about two years ago, I've started slacking off in everything. That's when I started to release I can't trust the people around me, because they gossip about everything. I've lost the ability to trust so many... I became quite rude to people and I always looked depressed in class the teachers said to my parents. Though, I normally can act out everything as if I'm happy. No one notices it. I drop hints accidently or purposely "asking" to be helped. But in the end, no one helps. Last year I was going through a lot of pain, but no one noticed. I even resorted to cutting at one point, but I stopped. There's this kid in my class who likes me. I tend to pity people a lot, so when he asked me out I accepted. I tried to break up with him several times, but then he asked me out again... I was hoping a relationship would help bring me out of this state I'm in, but it's like I forgot how to love someone, wether with a family or if having a crush. But I have no clue how to leave him, without leading him on. Also, some of the teachers have been putting me out in the spot now too. They are making fun of me during class, but the others students think it's a joke, I don't. It hurts me. I'm that quiet kid in class though. One of my teachers started to pretend I don't exist either. I hide my emotions and always expect for the worst now because I don't want to be hurt. I'm constinantly breaking something. Just recently I got in trouble for breaking my laptop, my iPhone/iPad charges , my beats headset and 3 pairs of headphones. I break so much, physical things like toys or electronics, or I break some person mentally. I can't help it, it just happens though. I'm constantly bleeding everyday too for some reason. Not from cutting or anything, I just, for no reason, bleed? I'm just getting stressed out. I'm forgetting how to smile. I cry a lot at night too. I feel like there are two of me sometimes. One side of me is happy while the other side of me is frustrated. I'm scared to ask for help from the people around me because I hate drama, but I'm also scared to what will happen to me... Do you guys have any solution for this?

My solution; keep calm and love life... thats all. I think my condition is a bit worse. I could describe myself as a person which changes my personality when the surrounding is changed. I don't think my parents knew it neither my friends. When I'm around with my family, I seems to be a quite quiet person. I seems to be a good child. When I'm around with my friends, I seems to be a joker, cracking jokes all day, and a innocent child. But to myself, I do a lot more of thinking. Every steps I take was a result of thinking. No one really knows it. I do a lot of drama as I doesn't want anyone to know my true self as I doesn't seems to be a social able person. So I crack a lot of jokes to cover my true personality. Sometimes, I felt tired about it. But what to do, I really don't know, maybe someday in the future, there will be a person that could understands me. I'll be waiting for that day.. luckily my exam is over and my result was quite good, just not long after my exam, there were problems in my life again. Thats love. What is love? I really doesn't knows. I felt that my crush is a bit creepy, she tried to touch me, follows me and that it is. Now I'm not interested in her anymore neither others. And I came to know about shounen ai anime, out of curiosity,(*_○) Thats the life of a teenager. So appreciate it. Every one has its own problems.....
THANK YOU FOR READING MY PROBLEM AND I SINCERELY HOPE THAT IT WOULD HELPS YOU IN SOME WAY. .

I totally agree with darkmasterly, follow the advice :) and remember, the world isn't as bad as you think it is. We are all here for you, even if it feels like we're not

Thank you Darkmasterley and Kira. That made my morning. I'll take your words for it and try to look at the world in another way. (^ ^)

Dear Life,

Don't get hurt about them. The classmates.
I know adults all say this but it is true: It's because at teenager life the hormones are all messed up. In time you will feel much better.

About that relationship: that is the main reason I didn't into a relationship for so long. I didn't want someone to pity me.

The fact that you tend to zone out and, you know, just be there in the background requires a break from everything. Start doing something. If you get an invite to go to mountains and visit something do it. If you get the idea to start painting or start playing the violin, just do it. If someone asks for some help to carry some books to one place or another do it.

My sister always told me this (I'll try to translate it in English :P ) "You don't like math. Start exercising. Work harder. ONLY BY EXERCISING YOU WILL START TO LIKE IT"

I started the viola a while ago because the school was overwhelming (2 full-time universities damn...). Just like you, I have good grades, good family, good friends, I was only bored. For the previous 2 years I haven't slept more or less than 6-7 hours per night. There were weeks were I would get only 3 or 4. That was the final exams time.

I needed to break free. To get away from daily routine. I started to play the viola. It annoyed me at the beginning. It sounded like suicidal bumblebees. I hated the sound. I hate it and still played it. I hated it more but I played until my fingers started bleeding. Then I knew I have studied enough. By exercise I got much better. The sound now sounds much better. I am proud of myself.

This was just a story. My story. But out there are so many people who overcome their negative hmm "situation" with something positive.
I mean look at me, I never thought I will study any orchestra instrument XD I just had an idea from a friend. She figured out exactly what I needed.(Heaven bless her)

I know 2 universities and music sounds hard and overwhelming. It is not. The viola makes up for the stress in school.

Now I tell you to start doing something. Start a sport, read a book, study about universe and constelations.

Also read that article(in the picture). I wish I had found that one when I had my struggles.

Best regards,
Minus

Hey Life. I just read your post and I understand what you're going through because I am going through something similar. I'm not a teenager but I know that going through the cycle and feeling like things are starting to not make sense isn't very easy. It's like on one hand you know you have to be content and on the other hand something is missing. I agree with Minus regarding getting a break, trying new things, and making the most of what you have. See if it helps and if it does then it's just you feeling burnt out. If it doesn't help then you might be going through depression which is normal for someone going through adolescence. I don't know you very well so I can't really approximate what your main issues are. It maybe self-image, it may be a lack of confidence, or it may be a total lack of motivation. Whatever it may be, I would like to tell you that things do get better little by little, day by day. If today is bad, tomorrow may be better. Avoid looking at the ultimates in one situation. Try looking at situations as temporary challenges for you to get to the better part of scene. No situation is ever permanent. Things change. People change. And it is up to you if you want to make it change for the better. You just need courage. Trust yourself.

>>5 Saving that picture. I keep trying to find the right words for my internet friends that can never stop fighting. I've been trying to find the right words to say to them, but it looks like my words are right here.

どうもありがとう Minus

So hi life^^

sadly, I don't really have any advice to give you, but i'll second kira saying that you're not alone, you're part of the dollars and we will always be there for each other. If you ever feel down, type it. If you ever want any advice, type it. There will definitelly be someone who has lived something you experience, and this person will be ther to help you, so that's it, life is bether than it seems!

Seriously, thank you all. Every word you have all said to me was very motivational! :,) I'll try my best to change a bit at my own pace. I'm crying right now, but out of happiness. This pretty much made my night. (I had a bad day...) These words I'm typing write now, can't express my true feelings. Thank you again! Most classmates forget that I'm there, and my teachers ignore me like I'm a ghost. Awhile I believed they where the cause of why I looked emotionless all the time. I still do blame them. Not much I can do about it. If I try hard enough, I be remembered. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell anyone around me how I feel. I feel like I have this anger growing in me, and I just want to scream out, but I mask my feelings, probably because I'm scared of people's opinions on me. Though I don't know you all; you still are very kind to help me out. Thank you.

Good job on quitting the cutting thing. That's something that's really hard to do, and you should feel proud for stopping.

I understand. Honestly, my life is similar, but you just gotta get through it. Let me inform you on some of the stupid stuff I've learned throughout my few, meaningless years of living.

1. Don't wait for help to come to you. If you really need help, ask someone. It doesn't matter if it's a stranger from school, a relative, a friend, or the school counselor, just look for help if you need it. The world does not center around you, don't expect people to notice if you're acting down. In the fifth grade, I got bald spots after being diagnosed with a thing where I obsessively pull my hair out of my head. No one noticed. I didn't care. I got help from my friends, after telling them I needed help. You got this!

2. If you don't love the guy, break up with him. I don't know how old you are, but since you're still in school, I can assume that you will never see this person ever again, as soon as you graduate. If his feelings are hurt, well, just try and make it easy on him. Tell him that you really appreciate all that he has done for you, and that you really just don't feel ready to commit to a serious relationship, because you don't want him to get even more hurt in the future. Something like that. You've got this!

3. I'm in Honors English, at one of the top ten Public middle schools in the U.S, and my teacher can't go one day without making fun of someone in our class. The teacher is just kidding around. I have a friend who my teacher calls 'Vortex,' because she couldn't log into the computer, so she took up about 20 minutes of class time trying to get onto the computer. If if really bothers you, tell him/her. Your teacher is meant to support your education, not make you feel uncomfortable.

4. If you don't wanna break your toys, just be careful with them. Also, I don't think it's possible to break a person. This is most likely from lack of experience and knowledge on my part, but to break a human is to remove all the will, motivation, and hope from a human. I doubt you are capable of doing that. Breaking up with a boy won't 'break them.' Sure, their feelings might be hurt for a bit, but they'll get over it. Wouldn't you??

5. Listen up. Life is tough. There are some moments where you're gonna wanna scream at your best friends, cry on someone's shoulder, or burn the American Flag. You're gonna feel a bunch of crazy stuff in life, but do you wanna know what really helps me? Sit down, on your bed, and think. Don't meditate or anything, just think about what you're feeling, what's causing it, then label the emotion, and solve it. Just keep going, brooski!

a friend of mine used to look in a mirror and say everything that is stressing u out and it ould be like talking to a real person plus you dont have to worry about gossip that way

So you bleed? From were the nose or other. Because chronique stress and lack of sleep does that. Actually I don't get why did you try to hide it in the first place. It does sound rude, but yea. If you feel bad then feel bad. Its a way to relive the stress like crying. I never cut myself... I don't know how you felt at that moment in life but i take it it must have been like when i used to bash my head on objects like walls and such.
It is increadibly paniking to be in a crowd. But recently I started talking to some of them and it turns out they don't really make fun of me. Or at least instant reject. If they do make fun of you then I guess you should consider im like a mortal ennemy. Well I am confusing but what I did to get over it was force myself to do psychological challenges, read, learn and do martial arts. Find your respect in your work and know your limit. But my best therapy was my worsth period in my life... Insomnia can change a man. Sleep 2-4 hours a day for entire years without being able to move at night makes you think about life and who you really are...