Okay guys I really do need your help.
Straight to the point;
My friend who is 14 years old got raped...
...by her drunk and abusive father.

I told many times for her to tell it to her mother. But she says
NO I WONT
I WILL NEVER DO THAT
NO
I DONT NEED HELP
I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF
JUST STOP! DONT MAKE ME REGRET I TOLD YOU.
I CANT TRUST ANYONE
PLEASE... I BEG YOU

And I need her to tell to her mother. BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING SERIOUS. She needs a lawyer and stuff.

Her father doenst remember he was dead drunk.

Guys please... I need someone to help me convince her... She is someone precious to me guys... Please....

you have to make her tell her mother immediately even if she gets mad if she is suffering you have to help her please

>>2 I did, I tried my best but she promised me she will tell it sometime.
(I know her, she definitely wont tell.)
I dont know what to do, I dont want to push her... I mean she is only 14

Fine ask her "are you ok with what your dad did? You want to keep it a secret forever? No, you don't know? Oh look your crying seems pretty wrong hu"? You got to find a way to let her know that this kind of shit can't be left unresolved. Convince her THAT IT'S NOT HER FAULT, her father has a problem that's dangerous to her mother and siblings (if she has any). Normally I would say that let the family settle family problems, ut that's one of the few fuck-ups you can't let even your family get away with. if it comes down to it you will tell her mom or someone that will listen, because your her friend and you have to protector, even if she hates you for it. Your friend may even be considering suicide due to the stress, if you see this let a professional know about this to. This not easy or far for you, especially your friend. It's going to take a lot of courage to confront your friend, or even her mother. But remember that you must do the right thing because you know it's the right thing.

>>4
She just says she wont. Her parents are divorced and she is the only child.
She tried killing herself a lot of times, she cuts herself all the time. I just cant stand this.
My friend suggested blackmailing her like "if you dont tell your mother I will."
But she is so stressed right now and Im scared that she will kill herself or do something stupid -I know her. And it will be my fault.

But you can't let things go on the way it is. Your friend is in trouble and your the only person she has reached out to. I think resolving her suicide problems should come first, she is going to need help with that immediately by putting her in proper care. Now while she is being taken care of this leaves a good opportunity to confront the problem of the rape. Your friend will have to be wiling to tell someone about her suicidal problems, a professional. If she still says no then were facing a terrible dilemma. She probably feels alone but show her she isn't, show her that your always going to stick by her side no mater what. Get all her friends in on it, confront her together show how much your friend means to you all, if your the only one; well sometimes all it takes is one. Stay strong, it's not easy but you can make a difference; it's the same shit you always hear but it's the truth.

Let her be, your constant help is just being turned down by her if she won't accept your help then you simply watch her deal with the problem herself. Who knows what's going on through that weak mind of hers. The best help for her is just you leaving her alone and listening to her. Sounds to me she isn't telling you everything, maybe she's hiding something. That's my advice honestly I dislike people who take their life for granted if she wished to die, I would fulfill her wish, but that's just me. Baan.

Turn him in, report him. To both the mother and the police. Take the fucking step. Chances are it will happen again, if you actually cared about her wellbeing. Get the cunt arrested. Otherwise you're just putting her in danger, silence can be just as bad as doing it yourself, ever heard "Being a bystander and doing nothing is the equivalent of doing the crime yourself." As for the dead drunk cant remember shit, yeah nah that's bullshit.

If her parents are divorced why is she so afraid of telling her mother? If they were still married I would totally understand her because she would probably cause their break up after that. But as they're not... She must tell her mother, police, everything, so her father will NEVER have to right to touch her again. Doesn't matter if he was or not drunk. Raping your own child, your own ONLY child, this so fucked up that I can't even began to talk about it. Makes me sick.
Hanna, you're doing a great job supporting her. To convince her, maybe you should show her other cases of rape were women denunciated their agressor and ended up fine. Internet is full of it. You could even try to get in touch with some of these victims and make them talk to your friend directly. Sometimes its better for her to talk to someone who has been through the same.
But the important thing is to NOT let her stay with her father again and to make sure she understands that is not her fault. Even if he is her father, I know how difficult this must be, but even so, she can't run the risk of this happening again!

>>9 I have to say, I agree with most of what Nymeria said. Make sure that your friend knows that it isn't her fault and that she is supported. She can't hold this in or keep it a secret, and I wouldn't think it was a good idea to let her stay with her father again, either. I think showing her the stories is a good idea, but don't make her feel stifled or pushed! It's a very delicate situation that you have going on, but she definitely needs to at least alert her mother to what happened, so that maybe she can feel more comfortable taking legal action.

This is very unfortunate, and I wish you both the best. :(

Go tell her mom, you have to. It's for her own good even though she may not reaoize that. She will probably get angry but once things get better she wil realize you did it for her and she will be grateful. But no matter what you have to tell her mom!

Be honest and tell the mom AND the police

What has happened thus far? If you haven't told anyone yet, you have to tell her that things will only feels worse if she keeps this bottled up. If she's scared she has to tell someone. No one will blame her, and even she should know that she can't handle this on her own. I really hope this change for the better for her :< It's a bit scary seeing she's my age, and the fact that even my dad drinks. But he's not the aggressive drunk type, he's more happy drunk. (in the end he's still an annoying twat when he's drunk since he repeats things... a lot)

I know this is going to be hard on your friendship, but you will have to tell her mom.

The scenario will be like this:
Then she will get angry and try to suicide. That is a time when she will need constant supervision. She feels ashamed to tell her mom that the man that she(the mom) once loved had raped her.

The mom will either ignore the problem or go cut the man's jewellerys. I'm 95% sure that she will do the second.

The police should be on the line by that time.

The fact that he "doesn't remember" is just bullshit.

She will probably hate you. Don't forget at 14 she is pretty messed up. Like every other teenager on this world.

But after all this is over she will be grateful for your help.
Also she needs conciliation, which the police will make sure that she will be taken care of.

Don't forget that the father, once the police and other people know about him, might try to kill her. Or take her to hostage. And that will lead to the fact that he does remember what happened that night. But that will only get him into more trouble.

YOU GO TELL HER MOM THIS INSTANT! this is what you should know for now.

As you can see no one here blames her. Why would other people do that? This is just a proof that she is innocent to what happened to her.

Next response I want to read from you is that you told her mom and to the authorities and she is taken care of. Period.

Chi-chan think that is a very hard case to solve...I think you should encourage your friend to tell her mother or police about what her father did. Although the risk of getting divorced are rather high about 95%. She should tell her mother, BUT if she choose to keep it for herself and endure all of it, it's her choice. The only way she could endure her pain without telling the police or her mother is she should at least tell someone that close to her so she could decrease the negativity that piled up inside her.

It's almost the same like a bottle full of water. If she didn't do anything, she will eventually bottled all of those negative emotions and then...BOOM. She might kill herself if that bottled water explode. You, as her closest friend should encourage her. It's alright if she's still insist on not telling her mother and the police the truth, but at least you're there for her, listening on every problem she had. The decision is in her hands, in the end she's the one who should decide how the story will go.

I guess that's what Chi-chan think~

I've worked with sexually abused girls before (usually incest cases) and yes, they will always not want to tell others about what happened to them because they feel ashamed about what happened. I would advice you to assure her that if she tells other people about what happened that she isn't a bad person and it is her right as a minor and a teenager to tell adults to own up to their responsibility to care for her with respect. Forcing her into telling her mother what happened might not be the best idea. Find an adult who she feels comfortable with so she can talk to that person. When she has the courage to talk to her mother, she will. The problem with these cases is that they go through post traumatic stress disorder and simply recounting what happened is like living in the nightmare again and again. She will also need a well-trained psychologist to help her sort out her emotions.

For now, encourage her to talk to you about what happened whenever she feels like talking about it. Assure her that what happened to her wasn't her fault and it isn't her fault. Let her know that there are many out there who are experiencing similar things and are as scared of her and that she isn't alone.

I hope this helps.

Well at least get her to tell the police, after that the cat is pretty much out the bag for them.

Is it really what she wants?
Will you let yourself be haunt?
Please just listen a moment.
This argument is rather potent.

If you said it then it must disturb you.
You can't say that simply out of the blue!
A friends task is to anwsers ones call.
A friend is not simply an empty hall.

Humans are greedy and fragile.
We fall so easily so be agile.
If you are scared be brave.
You have your rights exempt of slaves.

Do not let people judge you or stop you.
Do what you feel is the right thing to do.
I might just be a stranger and a no name.
I cannot do claims, but this is no blame game.

Pass what you like of the message to your friend. Remember you need to stick by her side and helping her or at least give her more reasons to stay away from her father if possible. Do not try to pin the blame if something happens just describe it as accuratly as possible. Do not blame yourself, do not blame your mom, do not blame anything and just say what happened if it comes to it. hopefully you will not need to stay in the dark.

damn that drunk father

yeah i can't take this seriously you really gotta ask what a fucking loser what do you have the hots for that girl an you think if you don't tell she'll fuck you to like really dude you might as well tell police because it doesn't look like you have the balls to do what i would i kill him

>>19
What a masterpiece
So please accept this cookie
You are a genius!
*-*

>>21
I'd beat him as well. Screw getting in trouble. I'd beat him to a pulp! I'd go for him right after she told me, if I were you. He'd be a goner.

Yes but she is probably a girl so beating up people might be harder. + There is the life repercutions of it and finaly your mentality to begin with. If she can't do it she can't do it.

Trying that could get her killed. Maybe child care now that I think about it... The cops are a solution to, but you need your friend as a support to get efficient proof. So this is why anonymous and Allan that we cannot rush this.

But yea I would have possibly beaten im up to as a last resort T_T
Still that would mean serious problems and flaws for me to step in like that. HO! And Hanna keep a good eye on your friend. Rape can easily lead to suicide. It destroys the entire confidence and conception you had till now. It litteraly demolishes the person.