What are best friends? How are they suposed to act?
I have 4 so called best friends and we were supposed to go on a vacation together but the decided to call some other friends of theirs, i told them that i dont want to spend our first vacation together with other people who i dont really know and who smoke and drink and now my friends are in a "dilemma" if they should go with me or the other friends and i know they want to go with those others more than they want to go with me, even though they've known them for like 2 months and they've known me for more than 8 years and i've always been there for them. It hurts to know that i only mean so much to them while they mean the world to me...

Well not that I should butt in into this matter, I mean people are like magnets, once they are attracted to what others does, it's hard to separate them from that group, so the only thing to do is to get to know the others first, before judging them. you said " i don't want to spend our first vacation together with other people who i don't really know, and who smoke and drink", well you are right you don't know them, but it's an opportunity to get to know them, just because they drink and smoke doesn't mean they are bad, get to know them better first before you judge, I mean, your friends knew them for 2 months, doesn't mean they are a rotten bunch. see here, small events like this with new people is a big change. If you were on your friend's shoes,what do you think they would say when you want to bring other friends? As I am saying earlier I shouldn't butt in into your situation, I'm suggesting that you should look at things at a different angle, allow your friends to bring their other friends, and if you can't get along with them, then next time, you voice your feelings and tell your 4 best friends " This time, no other people, just the 5 of us."

The thing is that if i was the ome bringing friends they would have gotten angry with me... and i admit, i'm not giving those other people a chance and usually i would give them a chance before i judge, because i think that being with them will ruin the vacation... first because I'm a really awkward person and when there are people i don't know around i just dont talk, just stay quiet till they leave, second because like i mentioned they smoke and drink a lot and i REALLY dont approve of that and when my friends are with them they do it to so it would also ruin the vacation for me and the worst is that my mom wouldn't let me go if she knew they would be coming along but I dont want to lie to her... i do want to just try it and go but i just cant, at least not know, sure on our other vacations they can come, i just want this vacation for us... and i know i'm being mean but i just want to know who my friends would chose now because that would really affect our future plans... cuz i just dont want to hang out with people like that and my friends dont realize that.... there can probably be no advice that can change the situation, i just want to know if they really are my BEST friends if they always choose others over me?

one major question that you don't need to answer. are you a girl? because when i read your post, it makes me think you are a girl. sorry for judging in advance. another thing i forgot to mention, no matter how long it is that you are together with your friends, it doesn't mean they are your best friends forever. i mean i know someone for 4 years and i thought he was my best friend, then i get stabbed in the back he sold me out. after all those years that i have helped him from bullies, he sold me to the bullies. then never trust anyone to be my best friend unless they really mean that they want to be my best friend. those who i can't completely trust are just normal friends.

I know you all will probably think that I'm selfish and spoiled and i want everything to go my way but it's just that I've been having problemswith these friends for a long time, I've always been the one hurting so that we wont argue and be able to stick together, i always made myself the one who takes on all their anger and brushes it off so that our little group wont fall apart ajd after years of suffering for our sake i finally decided to stop keeping everything in and actually started saying my opinions on stuff were doing and they dont even consider for once doing something that would alsi make me happy, not just them.... but even througj all of this, they are my closest friends and i just want proof that we are real friends and that they wont leave me when i need them the most and this always choosing those other guys over me doesnt help...

Yes I'm a girl and all my friends are girls too

I don't think you are spoiled, my sister is more spoiled than you are, also i'm the only one who has been posting so far. and I don't really know how girls feel, I just want to help even for a little. If I'm of any help even if it's just 0.1% I'm happy that i helped. I can say nothing for now. If anything gets better for you that would make me happy. friendship and relationship is just like chocolate, if it melts it's hard to fix, if it's finished, it's all gone, and if it got your clothes dirty and can't be removed, it's like stain, that will always be with you forever.

Yes you did help, the situation is still pretty much the same but I'm just really happy that someone actually read my post and tried to help, thank you :)