Alright, prepare for a long post. I have always been depressed and lonely. I have never had any friends or people I felt I could trust, even though I had a girlfriend for 7 years. We lived together for around 5 years, and she openly said she wanted to marry me, and start a family with me. She loved me deeply, and I knew it was pure, true love, if there is such a thing. She is not some naive, immature girl, but actually a proper woman. Her family liked me as well, and both our families came along well. But for some reason, I couldn't feel any love towards her. I cared for her, of course, but nothing more than that. We're not together anymore, and I now live alone. She's in a new relationship with a guy she met before I had the time to move out. I feel like she just threw me away. I can't find happiness or joy in anything. I have nothing to live for nor die for, so my whole existence seems hollow. A lot of my colleagues wonder how I can be single, because they see me as quite a catch. I bake, cook, help them whenever I can, and don't mind doing them favors. A lot of them find me quite cute and funny. But none of them shows any real interest in me, so I don't know if their words are to be trusted. How can I know that they aren't just saying things to be polite? I don't know if I'm even capable of loving someone, or even feel love to begin with. But I want to find out. And I want to find someone I can trust. If any of you have some thoughts about this, feel free to reply. But it feels a little bit better to get this of my chest.

Yeah, even if you're not talking directly to someone just airing your problems can help take a lot of weight off your shoulders. But I know how you feel, granted I've never been in that situation myself, but I get the feeling of being unable to love someone. In your case (to me anyways) it seems like you're feeling betrayed and abandoned. From my own experiences the only thing that can heal that is time and it's different for each person as far as how long it takes or what can make the person feel better. I can't tell you what to do, but you might benefit from finding a hobby that you enjoy, or doing something social like play some sports at a local park or gym, or even join the chat rooms here and talk to people.

>>2 I agree with this, I would also add in my own vices that stem from my own depression- anime, manga, and videogames namely. All in all I would say that people on here seem to be genuinely good so this is a good place to get it out. I hope things turn up! my email is asbestosxposure@gmail.com if anyone wants to discuss such things

ACE,

Do whatever you have to do, in order to fill that void. And keep doing it, fight, experience as much as you can, you can even play pretend. Yes, time heals, but only if you're doing something to pass it. Otherwise, you're stuck, and you remain stuck. 7 years is pretty damn long; years you may or may not ever get back. You can't change the past; you can dwell, walk away, and move on. Don't center yourself with this dilemma, don't curl up in the dark digging your hair out, just constantly repeating in your head what you should do; what you're not doing; or if you're capable of doing. It's not healthy, it doesn't solve anything. Those you said that didn't show any 'real' interest in you? Well, try to show some interest in them, even if it is slight. Like I said, you can pretend like you're having fun, act like you've found some joy, imitate what happiness looks like, I don't care; just play the part. But there will come a moment or even an epiphany where you realize everything you did up to that point didn't seem so fabricated as you made it out to be. You won't see it now, but that's the truth. You want love? You want to love? It's not gonna happen. Nothing will be put into motion unless you give a firm push.

As for her, I'm sure she still has thoughts about you from time to time. 7 years isn't easy to forget. I think she wants you to be happy too. If she sees that, she'll be happy for you, maybe even a little envious. Who knows? Could be a spark or a bloody fireworks parade. I will say, nothing is ever certain. Keep some faith in whatever fate has in play for you.

- YITMAS

thanks for the advises everyone. I will do my best to overcome this. I'll keep you updated should anything happen, be it joyful or sad. Again, thanks^^.

I wonder... do you still talk to her or her family? what does your family have to say about your current situation? sorry for short Reply a bit busy right now.