I'd like to share a tale of my first love that began on Valentine's Eve in 2011. But first, an introduction to the teller of this is due. I, like most others, was around many people during my youth yet still felt alone. In truth, it was not until I had moved away that I realized: my loneliness grew from the masks that those people wore. I developed my cynical view of the world soon after the move from Canada.


When I had arrived in a small town south of Knoxville, I kept my guard around people and adorned my visage of deceit - I became a harlequin to bring smiles to others and barred my true self from the world. "Though I may never know a true person, perhaps I could bring a small moment of joy to aid their cloaked journey through life," I frequently thought.


But loneliness attracts loneliness and, sooner than I could realize, I began banding a group of unique and lonely hearts - thus giving birth to the name under which I post. The lonely heart I prefaced earlier was an amazon in spirit, a Valkyrie in temperament, and a hermit in soul. Her beauty is what drew my eyes, but it was her troubled past that secured my fate in her arms for the following years.


Our first time together was on a "friend date." It accelerated that 13th of that 2nd month with a firm embrace. We graduated university together, talked of shared dreams, and our devotion to one another. We moved in together. I escaped my mother's emotional oppression. She escaped from the torment of self-interested "friends." I made sure that she would always the warmth of our loving band. We began graduate school.


Her major professor became a tyrant for her time. I supported my overworked lover with my mind, body, and soul. I graduated before she and struggled with finding a job because we had yet to know where she would go. She supported me as best as any lover could given her situation.With all my struggles I had lost my attentiveness to her. It was the little things that I missed during this maelstrom of stress. It was my moments of absent minded immaturity that muted her flame. And in darkness, she began her tormented re-evaluation of herself - the future was no longer clear.


She did not know how to tell me. She had been broken before and never wanted to inflict upon another, let alone the only boy that treated her so well. Yes, this boy soon felt her void that had welled up for months. We became short with one another. And though it was over little issues, they amassed into the truth that I have much maturing ahead. She is very rational and her warrior heart does not change but bolsters to numb pain... but she could not in this instance because she felt that she deserved this anguish. She loves me but not the same way that I love her. She now loves best friend - an unmotivated drunk who syphons his family's money to live a carefree life.

After all I have done. I tried to burden the sorrows of my friends - his included. I told them to sort it out. Now I am hollow. Though I raised all the curtains, I can hardly bare to watch the show. I have ended our friendship. I am managing my living situation with my ex-girlfriend. She'll graduate in 2 months. I will have accepted a new job in another state. But 2 months seems like an eternity when hell opens a door through your chest.

Holy. Crap. Write a book and lead the way almighty teacher, because this was a beautiful piece of literary work- it sounds fictional in a poetic kind of tone. I don't have any advice to match up with your story and intelligent way of writing, but I've got to say:

Damn. Good luck. And bravo.

Dude, this is so sad. I feel so bad for you. I can't believe she would just let go of someone so good as you for someone like that! It seems that you've been played. :'(

Thank you for your time and kindness. Though this pain is real, I can't rationally hate either of them... feelings are mysterious and wild. I can only avoid the triggers of this madness.

P.s. I do plan self publishing a post-apocalypse sci-fi novel series. I will be sure to keep this name as that project emerges. But first, I need to put my education to work ^_^

Cheers.