I need advice .
From everyone .
Mostly guys perspectives .
DON'T IGNORE ME PLEASE .
ITS PROBLEMS IN REAL .
So i'm that kind of person that's forever faithful and always the one being dumped or cheated on -.-
After a really bad break up with my partner cheating on me , I pushed all my feelings on a crush I had and eventually he caught bait . He's been perfect in everything where he's fun and relaxing .
He travels alot and when he's around which is most of the time , I don't get time to go out .
For 3 months we've moved along without any kinda confessions , only I was confessing and being expressive . So I assumed mutuality we established a slow r/s where there was no stress . We literally have no problem , everything is flexible and we enjoy sharing each others company be it messaging all the time or talking or watching anime together .
I made sure not to fall inlove nor say I am inlove until I mean it . Because of my previous r/s I didn't think I want to bother trying and wanted to just enjoy the r/s as each day comes.
However when school reopened at the start of September , i've gotten so busy with studying or falling asleep and his timing was thrown off too . It was depressing yes but I coped.
Now problem happened , when my attention was caught by this kid in school . I here instantly , one day while interacting , that I made a connection . It startled me abit cause I'm significantly older than him and I'm already committed so I tried tobrushed it off .
Then he becameinsanely honest and confessed to me ._______.
I tried to avoid it but I find myself naturally being drawn to him and he does these ridiculously cute things and sends me songs and he calls me Noona .________.
I admit it . I harbour feelings for him .
I tried to rectify this by reminding him of my r/s and he said he respected it and used it as a barrier .
I know it'll still end up hurting him so I tried to avoid and push him away but felt an urge of jealously when he deliberately showed me he was trying to move on .
I couldn't help but feel hurt .
Deeper into the conflict , I really do care about my bf to extents where I'll give my life . So I wanted to confirm his feelings for me so one day I asked him if he loves me and the idiot said yes ._________.
For three long months he has never confessed and I had to ask him .
His friends explained that he has communication problems and thinks he's incapable of affection but he has been an utter sweetheart to me ;;;;;;
Common sense tells me my relationship with him has a high chance of leading to marriage ((I'm 20 soon , late schooling but brilliant dw )) .
But I naturally tend to consider all my r/s long term.
However I can not deny my strong feelings for this kid that I see from 6.30 am - 4.30pm 5 days a week for the next 8 months, plus online gaming together at nights .
I always told myself that if I was in a r/s and developed feelings outside the r/s id let go of my partner cause I won't want to hurt them.
But its hard cause now that he admitted he loves me I don't want to hurt him . I feel even more pressured cause recently a mutual friend of ours told me after 5 years of being single he got together with me and must have genuinely liked me .
This makes me feel worse , cause he's so innocent and sweet though he's older than me .
My worse fear is missing my attachment to him and also losing his friendship cause I can't see a future where he isn't involved .
and to be honest.. i put so much out into our r/s.. i cant just let go of him .
Lastly , I won't be able to suddenly fall inlove with this kid even though I have feelings for him . Cause I am unable to comprehend what love truly is and learning as I go along .
But I will not have myself unconsciously falling for another while in a r/s
Please help me with these decisions : C
I'm legit scared of this situation i'm in.

I know you wanted a guys advice but I do know some things that can help. Imagine yourself on your wedding day, do you imagine either of them there with you? Think about yourself in 10 or 50 years, can you see yourself being happy with them then? And finally, do you find yourself wishing you were somewhere else or with some one else when you are with them?

Ok I'm a guy and I don't know what the hell I should tell you... so here it goes nothing.

Here is the deal imagine that you had to say goodbye to one of them, imagine that tomorrow is your last day with one of them. Imagine that one of them is doing to die, tomorrow. For whom would kill, destroy the world, sell your soul, in order to prevent that, even if it was for just one more day.

You see, there is love, and there is crazy love, love that you can't control, love that you can't escape, love that you can't move away from.

In my opinion, if you fell in love, wile loving some one else... well that should tell you something. You can pretend that you can control your feelings. But sooner or latter they will hit you like a monster truck and all that will be left is regret.

Make a decision, and fast. There is no right answer here, so, lay down your walls and let your heat speak for yourself.

Good luck

(I'm a girl who's never been in a relationship, but I'm such a softy when it comes to love.)Which one makes you happier? Which one makes you feel warm inside? Which one makes you laugh? Which one can you talk to easier? Which one do you think understands you better? You have to ask yourself these questions I guess

I'm a guy who's never been in a relationship but i'll tell you my thoughts.

-First of all you have to be brutally honest with your self and decide which guy you want to be with (I know you probably heard this already but i felt like it needed to be said again), you will end up breaking one of their hearts one way or another.

-Second, do you see a future with one of these guys. I mean like well-off into your 50's or 60's, do you really think you could have a happy, fulfilling relationship that long with one of them.

-Third, make sure these guys are truly sincere about how they feel about you. Don't ask their friends about their feelings, make sure you hear it from them. (In my experience talking with my buds, they said that they hold off on truly telling their partner that they love them because they have doubts.)

-Fourth, now you might not want to hear this but even if it doesn't work out with both of them. IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. There are many pieces to the puzzle that is your life. You have some pieces already and you have to look for the others. You have to figure out which pieces go where and if they fit right.You will find good and bad pieces. The bad pieces you can always replace them with others. The good pieces might look good right now but later on they might not fit right with other pieces you find. I guess what i'm really trying to say here is that your life is always changing, for good or worse.

I really hope you get through this and that what i said was helpful.

Sincerely, M

I think you should tell your partner about this, the fact that you have feelings for someone else while you're in 'love' with your partner is pretty much like cheating. (People have different definitions of 'cheating')It's better to be down right honest with the person you are with right now, seriously, talking and discussing problems with each other helps a relationship grow stronger!
Second of all, if you love/care for your partner to the point where you would 'give your life' to them then the other guys would be irrelevant in your love life. Meaning that you are just drunk in love and can't visibly see wtf your true feelings are due to the soft spot that you have.
Thirdly, it may be hard to tell people something that will obviously break their heart but if you want this relationship to work then you gotta take that risk. Of course you guys can still be friends and eventually overtime the feelings will fade and you guys can see each other as friends and shit. Hopefully.
As I said, "Feelings will fade" and eventually your relo will fade aswell tbh. Because, let's be honest, confessing you love someone is only temporary and who knows when their feelings will change. All I am saying is that you have to go deeper and find the opposite within them.. If that made sense.

A GIRL will be too busy holding onto a BOY while a WOMAN will have the MAN too busy holding onto her.
But wtf do I know about this shit, I don't even know what I just wrote and it might seem like a total immature advice.
-sigh- being 14 on this site is really mindfucking.
-Good luck though!