hello, all~

ive been posting here on the dollars website for a while, and now that ive finally kinda gotten the hang of the crowd that visits here, I got the nerve to ask for advice.

im... to say the least, in a really iffy situation. not tol lig ago, maybe a year at most, I came out of a 3 year relationship where the girl I loved with all my heart left me for my at-the-time best friend...

now, if having to hear the dude brag about getting it on with his new gf wasnt enough to break me, whats next just about did.

to get my mind off of the whole situation so I didnt end up hurting myself or something, I went into a small institution meant for high school students intrested in bio-medical research. day one, I met a a beautiful blonde girl with glacier blue eyes who felt like a female version of me. we shared interests, and laughed just about the whole day away together. i felt like i could actually smile again, and that i wasnt alone. I ended up falling in love with her, and not long after then I heard from her that she had a boyfriend. I was heartbroken. I waited, and waited, but nothing changed. they seemed like they were gonna stay...

right now, im doing my best to learn how to stand being on my own, what with my parents being gone just about all day and night, and me having a lack of siblings, but its not easy. I wanna forget that I have feelings for this girl, because of all the kindness shes shown me, but for some reason im finding it near impossible to 'move on'. we're still close, close friends and hang out a lot...

but it always hurts if we're watching tv or somthing and she falls asleep and ends up slumping over on my shoulder, and I have to sit there and come to terms with the fact that this girl im so in love with will likely never reflect these feelings... she knows I like her, her bf knows, I know, and none of us hate each other, luckily- we all talked it out, and though its a bit uncomfortable sometimes, were not angry or rude to each other at the least...

what should I do?
any advice if theres no righ thing to do?
ive tried moving on, not happening at this point...
am I a shitty person for having feelings for someone who already has a person specialto them? im not even hitting on her or anything, but I still feel a lot of self hatred for some reason. or at least disgust.

how did any of you guys deal with emotionally challenging situations?

thanks for reading this, whoever bothered to do so.

also, sorry for the lack of real detail and quality in that post of mine ^ im typing this on my phone rather than on my dead-computer, and my mobile typing skills arent exactly the best

I've kind of been in this situation before. I got really depressed about it, and it didn't do anything for me. It took me a while to get over it, but eventually I did. There's no easy way to deal with but unfortunately (and I really hate to say this) some things just aren't meant to be. It doesn't help to dwell on things that you can't change. (It's hard not to, but it still doesn't help.) There's over 7 billion people in the world, you're bound to end up with one of them. It seems like this might be one of the best girls you'll ever meet, but there are tons of people out there. You've got so much of your life left, and it's very possible you'll meet someone you love even more than her. It's not at all easy to move on from something like this, but I know you can. (Sorry if this wasn't very helpful >.< But I hope it helps in some way)

Just to state a fact, being friends will make it way harder to get over, and you probably know this. I'm not saying you should end the friendship, but if you choose not to, you're going to have a hard fight ahead of you.

There isn't really anything you can do to "move on", it's something your mind/emotions take up after a period of time, and that's pretty much it, time. Only time can affectively move you out of your state. Getting with another girl won't make you get over the past one, it will just make you forget. Same goes for drinking, sleeping, drugs, etc. which is what some people resort to in your situation (and I highly DO NOT recommend).

If you choose to stay with the friendship, and end up leaving later, it will become a lot harder for both you and them. If you stay, there's a chance things might change between her and her boyfriend, and you might end up as her new boyfriend, however things won't be in a great condition; people don't just leave healthy relationships and take no baggage with them, it hurts. And if you leave now you'll be faced with a new future ahead of you, mostly alone for a some time, and won't have to carry on this relationship any further to an uncertain destiny.

thank you for your time, and replies, everyone! its certainly helping :)

as for the moving on in terms of breaking the friendship, I feel that im too far in the situation as it is to do that. That, if i did, it would be worse off for the both of us, as shes told me before that she wants to keep me in her life, and we both still laugh and have fun as we did day one.

now, one reason im choosing to stay, is to... strengthen myself, so to speak. sure, it might be the hard way, but, in the end i think it would benefit me more to learn how to deal with these situations rather than take the easy and possibly quite lonely way out. if i break the friendship and leave at this point, wouldn't i be stuck thinking about her rather than moving on? if i stay, i think i could use that as a way to come to terms with it.

not turning down or meaning to be impolite towards anyones advice, however! im grateful that i got even a single reply :)

ill update as the situation changes, but in the meantime,I thank all of you for your support

Ok, glad you've come to a decision and will stick to it. I hope to hear some good news later on from your situation.

Take care