hello, all~

ive been posting here on the dollars website for a while, and now that ive finally kinda gotten the hang of the crowd that visits here, I got the nerve to ask for advice.

im... to say the least, in a really iffy situation. not tol lig ago, maybe a year at most, I came out of a 3 year relationship where the girl I loved with all my heart left me for my at-the-time best friend...

now, if having to hear the dude brag about getting it on with his new gf wasnt enough to break me, whats next just about did.

to get my mind off of the whole situation so I didnt end up hurting myself or something, I went into a small institution meant for high school students intrested in bio-medical research. day one, I met a a beautiful blonde girl with glacier blue eyes who felt like a female version of me. we shared interests, and laughed just about the whole day away together. i felt like i could actually smile again, and that i wasnt alone. I ended up falling in love with her, and not long after then I heard from her that she had a boyfriend. I was heartbroken. I waited, and waited, but nothing changed. they seemed like they were gonna stay...

right now, im doing my best to learn how to stand being on my own, what with my parents being gone just about all day and night, and me having a lack of siblings, but its not easy. I wanna forget that I have feelings for this girl, because of all the kindness shes shown me, but for some reason im finding it near impossible to 'move on'. we're still close, close friends and hang out a lot...

but it always hurts if we're watching tv or somthing and she falls asleep and ends up slumping over on my shoulder, and I have to sit there and come to terms with the fact that this girl im so in love with will likely never reflect these feelings... she knows I like her, her bf knows, I know, and none of us hate each other, luckily- we all talked it out, and though its a bit uncomfortable sometimes, were not angry or rude to each other at the least...

what should I do?
any advice if theres no righ thing to do?
ive tried moving on, not happening at this point...
am I a shitty person for having feelings for someone who already has a person specialto them? im not even hitting on her or anything, but I still feel a lot of self hatred for some reason. or at least disgust.

how did any of you guys deal with emotionally challenging situations?

thanks for reading this, whoever bothered to do so.

well a problem like thats kinda complex to say the least but if you feel she's the one for you mabey she is there isnt any reason to give up on it if you really care about her just wait a while observe see whats right and wrong with there relationship analyze and improve always keep moveing and eventually you will get what you want its not a matter of her being single or you being better than him its a matter of how far you will go for love just keep up the good job with no stupid stuff

and hey if you need someone to talk to you can email me im always there for you my email as everyone knows is thebigcheese88@yahoo.com you always have friends strange places or not

Alright, I may be quite new to this site...
But I want to say this, you are not wrong for feeling the way you do.
Heck, I was once myself in the exact same position as you... They didn't break up, and as far as I know are still going steady

I think, what I did to get over her, was that I just kind of gave up. I gave up on caring about getting a girlfriend ever, and sad to say, but it kinda worked. I still get an ache in the chest whenever I see her, but at least I'm able to continue on without the longing...

And I think that's the best I can hope for... short of moving on completely.

>>3 thanks, I really appreciate it :)

and sorry if theres two of these same threads out there, I guess my phone glitched or something while I was posting the thread.

>>3 thanks, I really appreciate it :)

and sorry if theres two of these same threads out there, I guess my phone glitched or something while I was posting the thread.

Hi Shiro-San,
Your situation sounds really hard, but I know you can get through it. Humans are resilient like that.
To be quite honest with you, your ex best friend sounds like a jerk. A huge insensitive jerk. It takes a rare level or assholery to date your best friends ex that he its in love with and then an even worse level to brag about it to said friend. I just can't even comprehend. He's terrible and I hope he looks back one day and regrets his immature and hurtful behaviour.
Moving on to your current situation.
I'm not familiar with you or this girl and her boyfriend, but I doubt the relationship between you three is as simple as 'we talked it through and none of us hate each other', but I won't comment on that since I don't know the full story.
You're not a shitty person for having feelings. Feelings are feelings. It's how you respond that matters. It's time for you to weigh up the risk and benefits of your behaviour. Some people think no pain is worth the benefit and might advise you to protect yourself and get away from this girl. This may be the correct course of action and it may not. Ask yourself if the happiness she provides you is worth the pain you feel when you realise she isn't yours. Ask yourself if you'd be happy being in this place for another year. Another 3 years, 5 years.
Is this somewhere where you feel loved, protected and needed? Are you just clinging onto her because you feel like you have nothing without her?
Assess yourself and answer these questions. The right thing to do may be clearer after that.

hey its no problem at all you have friends all around you, you just dont know who they are yet it seems like there are alot of people here that care total strangers no matter how far away dont be afraid to speak to them everyone has had trials in life struggles that beat us down but all we can do is get back up and keep going i wish you the best of luck and im always there for you if you need to talk, need advice or just want someone to listen and im sure im not the only one

Hands on your legs and lift.

Shiro-chan, apart from what every one else said, the only advice I can give you is, don't fall in routine, move forward. Don't let your life go into a standstill. Live, you are young and have many experiences ahead of you, don't hide in a corner and let life pass by. Enjoy it as much as possible.

>>10

I agree a lot with this. Don't just conform with your situation, go after what you really want.