After awhile even if I gave up on my mom to help her and try to do my own thing. Its like for some reason I still try to talk to her. I don't know why if its always going to be the same harshness and doesn't listen to me or care for my feelings. When I cry she tell me to get over it and stop being a drama queen or a baby. She says she hates me and no one cares for her feelings. Tells me to get out of her house that I'm a waste of money and space. Asks me why am I talking to her so much that I'm annoying and stop talking to her like she stupid and I'm a know it all. When she angry she takes her anger on me and tells me she wish I wasn't born I'm just a mistake and hits me. All I try to do is help. How's that when I left for college she misses me and say it was much more easier for her when I was around but then she pushes me away? When she went to surgery she didn't tell me and my dad yelled at me why I didn't call if I didn't know? What if she was dead how was she going to explained that and I'm just always being yelled at. I always try telling them how stressful that is and I got health problems from it already. I already had brain damage and was force to study night and day with no sleep or I'll get hit for it. I only know so much because it was forced onto me but with this knowledge I gain they think I treat them like they're stupid when I'm only trying to help...that's why I want to be a doctor. Can anyone just cheer me up, I might have a tough personality on the outside but doesn't mean I forgot and it didn't hurt on the inside.

Hiya. For one, I'm saying I kind of know how it feels with my dad, and in a milder sense- the rest of my close relatives. The thing is, I've disowned my dad about a year ago, but it helps to distance yourself.
It's hard being a scapegoat. Either people playfully joke and hurt with no intent- or the effects of pressure and abuse- I just know you've got to stand up when you have the chance to. The reason why you're mom pulls you in and pushes you away- it seems that you're her emotional punching bag, simple as that. It's a common thing in mental/physical relationships. I'm not telling you to do what I'm doing and abandoning your only parent. It's best to focus on yourself (ironically coming from someone else who isn't taking their own advice), but really.
The difference between you and me is that you can choose to get away from all of that while you start to focus on you're career. I'm still stuck with these people, and if I were in your place- I would live selfishly because you deserve it. No one- not even your parents can control your choices- as cliche as it sounds. With or without her, it's your choice, but also remember to make yourself happy. Just know you're better than all these dead-beat people and use the thought as motivation to prove it. Don't be afraid of failure, but don't forget that you've tried and you can try again. Good Luck and be happy.

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Thanks a lot 琳達. I'm glad someone replied though. I did had a friend call me earlier too so I'm happy you guys said the same thing. I'm always doing so much but I guess I have to be a little selfish. I guess I do have to start putting myself 1st before anyone else for now on. Thanks. I won't abandon them but I have to handle myself over others if they aren't going to respect me for what I do. I'll help people but I'll do that when I'm a doctor getting paid, no more freebies. I'll make it clear there's a price to it now.