Yoo. I'm Ruo.

Before I start I might as well share a neat social intelligence test: http://kgajos.eecs.harvard.edu/mite/ . It scores out of 36. I got a 31.

I'm just gonna share my story about dealing with and eventually overcoming (at least for the most part) social anxiety that I've had from a young age. Feel free to share your stories below, too-- I want to read them!


When I was in psychology last year, which also happened to be my last year of high school, I read that half of all children are born with an average ability to interact with others, 25% are born very outgoing (my younger sister would fall into this category), and 25% are born very reserved. Upbringing influences these inborn factors, but there is supposedly no way a naturally reserved person could ever reach the same level that a naturally outgoing person could-- or vice versa. Of course there's no concrete data to support this, but to an extent social abilities are, yes, inborn and natural. If you've ever been around more than one baby you'd know that even at a young age some aspects of a personality are well-defined. For example, my brother was often sick and as he got older he'd get into trouble by walking off the edge of things. My other brother punched a kid as a toddler and, true to his nature, he's still kind of difficult. My sister was happy and easygoing and she talks to strangers and rarely gets upset.

When I was a child I would cry during birthday parties because of all the people. Easter morning at age four I hid behind my mom when I noticed the bright pink Easter basket sitting on my floor. I would hide under her skirt at WalMart and vividly remember getting lost and starting to cry in the grocery store. I scolded my brother for talking to a cashier because he was talking to a stranger. I went home crying the first day of school. I was /that/ kid.

This continued for a while, even as I aged. I stopped crying so much, but that fear was always there. It wasn't until middle school that I started branching out a bit. It was really embarrassing and I was painfully self-aware. I had friends, but I wasn't good at talking to strangers. The fact that this was a small Catholic school didn't help much, either. I wasn't branching out.

Freshman year I tried a bit. I was probably awkward as hell to be honest... I had to physically force myself to talk to people. Literally. I would tell myself 'compliment that girl on her backpack' or 'start a conversation with a stranger' or 'apply for student leadership'. It was a slow process and no, it wasn't easy, but somehow over the course of two years I got better. Junior year I was just a little shy but I joined color guard and made lots of great friends. Senior year I REALLY branched out, and talked to people who I had sort of avoided before. My involvement in a performance sport helped A LOT. It's a big step but believe me, it kind of forces you to be socially confident, ahaha. Drama's really nice too.

And gradually, yes, the anxiety faded. I still have my moments, though. I don't think I'll ever be totally outgoing, but that's okay. I just started college this past week and I love every bit of it. Now I'm the person turning around to introduce myself to the people sitting around me or talking to random students walking around campus. I can talk to someone and read their facial expressions and respond accordingly. It might not be totally right, but I've gotten to the point where I can change how I'm coming off depending on who I'm talking to. The other person's shy? Talk a bit more than usual and ask them a lot of questions to pull them out. The other person's really talkative? Nod along and add your input wisely. It really works.

I got a score of 31 on the social intelligence test I posted above. It actually sort of helps because I know now that my issue wasn't with understanding other people's expressions-- it was more about keeping up with everyone and learning to speak up without being scared. Your issue might lie in understanding other people. I don't know, but if you're out there and you have social anxiety, this isn't the end. You can overcome it. It might be hard but there's definitely hope.


Sorry, that was really long. x_x Share your experiences and scores!

I dont believe an online test about seeing the emotion in people's eyes can determine your intelligence. Fun to try but dont pay too much attention to it. (not speaking directly to the OP)
I received a 32
Social Anxiety. When i was younger i use to have trouble expressing/ voicing my opinions but i outgrew that fairly quickly. I dont like to hang around a crowd of people for too long. If i do, i start to get rather quiet or claustrophobic depending on the size of the group. When meeting new people im usually quiet until i get to know them better and or until i can determine if i like them or not. If i let my mind wonder too much about what needs to be done, i can kiss my sleep good bye. Some basic things that i have to go through. Ive always been able to cope with it.