So, 3 years ago, my parents started fighting a lot, my dad being gone a lot for his job, and the fights usually ending with my dad hitting my mom. After a year of this, they got a divorce and my dad moved to a different house, still in the same city. We went to see him every other weekend, but he started to drink more and more, I think he was a borderline alcoholic, and his anger issues kept getting worse. He got mad at me and my two younger brothers for everything we did, and he hit us. I took all the blows for them, but I didn't tell anyone because he's my dad, and I still cared about him, because when he wasn't mad, he was fun and nice, the way he was before the drinking started. This lasted for about a year, I became apathetic, depressed, slightly suicidal (I never actually attempted), and I started self-harming. At the end of the year, my mom found out, and she had me go to a therapist. I talked to my dad, and he realized what he was doing, so he went to an anger management thing, and stopped drinking. It's been about a year since then. He has changed a lot, but so have I. He still yells sometimes, but he is no longer abusive. I am not depressed all the time anymore, just occasionally. During this, I started to have doubts about there being a god (I used to be Christian), thinking 'Why me?' and the like. I discovered agnosticism, which is my religion now, but only my closest friends know, my parents don't. It's killing me inside, but I don't want to tell them, out of fear they won't accept me. I still self-harm, but much less often and I'm not addicted to it. I'm a figure skater, and it has become a place where I can forget all of my problems, which really helps me.

Okay, I just had to get that off my chest. Not looking for sympathy, but feel free to reply if you need to.

*sobbing* That's so sad! You don't deserve something that horrible. I hope you OK, Rin.

Thank you Tsutanoha, it means a lot. I am getting better

You seem like a really good person Rin-sama :) I wish the best for you and just remember that there will always be people that accept you, if you just be yoursself and be postive then anything that happens will be better than living in fear of disapproval. Its also really good you have a hobby(or what could be a proffesion) that relieves your stress levels.

:)

Alot of people have an issue like that now. It's saddening isn't it. But yours seemed to resolve pretty smoothly then most i've seen. You have been brave too. You deserve a break or something sweet (*^_^*)

Thank you Zeal and Kanra. I am glad that my issue is being resolved, I'm really grateful for that.

Rin-Sama don't worry as long things are getting better that's all that matters. It isn't fast paced but it is getting better. Even if they don't accept you of your religion that isn't the real problem they should be focus on. As long you respect someone religion that should be good enough because you grew up into that type of family. Plus the lord is all about forgiveness and acceptance he won't judge a person belief to be a sin. I grew up in a Catholic home but I believe in science. I wouldn't say my family was the best house whole but I learned a lot and I learned even more, from being hidden from the world from my family. I chose to travel and leave and I learned more horrible truths but it was ok. I felt a bit of freedom and not letting it get taken away. I was hit a lot by my mom and took it too. There was times I had to fight back. My mom tried to smudder me when I was sleeping, threw forks at me, smack me with the metal part of a belt so yes it stab me and recently 2013 try strangling me on Christmas. Its also pretty bad too your own mom tell you they wish you weren't born and I was just a mistake. She does this when my dad isn't home mostly. It happens so what I'm saying is you just have to be strong its ok to fight back but it does hurt a lot going through that.

>>1 I'm agnostic too, I used to be Christian however as I started to dig deeper and deeper in my thoughts I discovered my own spirituality, I believe in a lot of different things. I told my closet friend this who told me that what I was talking about had a name, agnosticism. Have I told my parents? No. My spirituality is my own business and I'd rather not be judged. It's really up to you whether or not you choose to tell them but just know that you can keep it to yourself and are not in the wrong for doing so.

Thank you so much for your support, all of you. It means so much to me :)