Hello Dollars!

Recently I got in a big fight with my best friend.She says that my behaviour changed for the worst and that I started to act a little like an asshole with everyone.I had similar fights over this subject with other people too,but none of them,not even my best friend could give a clear example of the change in the way act.

I don't wanna change for anyone,especially when they can't properly tell what bothers them about my actions.I believe that I need to act like myself and those who matter,don't mind and those who mind,don't matter.

It passed a week since this fight and yesterday I got in another fight with my bestfriend.I finally told her that I felt like a 2nd option for her.

Since a few months ago,she kept giving me and another really good friend for both of us hints that someone else is her best friend and kept rubbing it in our faces.

When I told her yesterday about all this she said that it's not true and that she has 5 best friends (including myself) and none of them is a 2nd option for her and that she tries her best to spend a fair amount of time with all of us.

This is bullshit in my opinion.You can't have 5 best friends.It's absolutely normal to have many good friends,but you need to choose between them.You can't tell all your friends that they are your best friends and except everything to go smooth with all of them.

Anyway,our second fight didn't have a clear ending.We still don't talk to eachother.
This is our first important fight,let's say.

I'm still pretty pissed off at her for all this stuff,because I can't really believe what she said about not being her 2nd option.Also,she mentioned that another friend of mine is actually against me but she didn't want to tell me who.She isn't so close to my other friends,so I guess she probably made this up to piss me off even more.

Anyway,what do you think I should do?

Should I try to end the fight and be friends with her again or should I accept these facts and don't give a fuck anymore?

The second option seems more suitable for me,since all the big fights I had with someone ended with a total wreck of my relationship with that certain someone.

I apologize for the long ass text and for the grammar mistakes and all that stuff.I hope I made my point clear enough too.I'm tired,still pretty pissed off and English isn't my native language so yeah...

Hi there!

Honestly, about the "You can't have 5 best friends" thing, I kinda disagree and agree with that. Though "bestfriends" can be mixed up with "good friends" sometimes, but you can still have 5 best friends.
I think you should just try and end this fight, accept her opinion that you might've changed. 'Cause people change a lot in life. They can't just change back. bestfriends should accept you for you, if they can't accept that change they should just back off.

Try talking to a friend for help? Hope your problem gets resolved! (This is my first time trying to help someone so I might not be that helpful...)

I agree with >>2 ^_^ It's easy to think that "best friends" and "good friends" are sides of the same coin; but they're not. You can't change the way you are to suit someone else's needs. Either she accepts that you changed and you two make up again, or you just drop the topic. To be honest, over the summer I changed a lot to. I formed this sadistic side of me, that I enjoy quite a lot actually :3 I don't want to change the way I am either, so I'm just going to barrel through life like usual ^_^

>>1 Well, I'll be perfectly honest here. You can, technically, have 5 best friends. I don't consider myself to actually classify my friends into these groups, due to this occurring. My friends are my friends. I'm fine with that.

The thing with my friends is that if they tell me I'm being an asshole, they tell me why. Since your friends aren't doing the same thing, I'm not sure as to what to tell you. I simply recommend asking them what may be wrong, or if you've done anything to them. If they still can't point it out, just simply leave them. On top of this, your friends should be a LITTLE more accepting of you. Like what >>2 said, people change. I would try patching this up again, and if that doesn't work, then leave it be.

Good luck!

Speaking from person experience, if you and her are unable to find a clarity, to sit down and hash it out without fighting, then maybe it's best to end the relationship, as horrible as that sounds. In my opinion, when your best friend starts talking shit behind your back, that mean's she's not your best friend anymore. And this may sound lazy, but it's less stressful just to say, "We need to talk. Are we friends or not? Decide." than to continue for months--even years--on end pretending that you two can still hang out.
And something that your friend should take into account about your new 'asshole' nature, is that maybe you haven't changed and she has. Puberty and high school tend to turn your personality and character around. So while your morals may have not changed, her's might have and that makes your personality you've had forever seem like you have changed into an asshole. After all, the average teenage is, mentally, not a true adult till they're twenty-five. And teenagers mature at different rates. So while you are still the same, she may be stepping up the ladder in her psychological stand-point. You should both to be empathetic. Evaluate yourselves to find out why there is an issue to begin with and see what can be done about it. Try and find the time period that this started to happen and see what may have triggered it.
This may be all confusing and jumbled like poorly taken notes, but I hope this helps even a little.
Good luck. Hope it turns out for the best.

Thank you all for your replies and advice.I'll try to accept the fact that maybe I changed and perhaps talk to her again and clarify our relationship.

Thank you so much again :D

Don't just accept the fact you change, sometimes it just all in their heads. Sometimes friends expect you to be a person they want you to be but is wrong about who you are. When you're in a good group of friends you know how to keep it together and forget about problems because you know each other very well. If you're clashing like that then there's unstableness within that group. They have to tell you what's wrong and how you been lately if it's you. It's not you if they can't say anything, but someone got something against you to not like about you and choose to push you away. They'll say and do anything to do so if they feel they have better friends. My best friend did that to me so I left and I was very sad because I was usually alone anyways, but I know it was right because there's no point in fighting for someone to talk to you if they don't like your company anyways. Be around people that likes your company and can talk to being yourself and not changing for anyone.

>>7 It's just so frustrating that they can't just tell me exactly what bothers them.This way I can't be sure if I really changed or not.All they say is "you'll understand one day that we're right".
Also,I just found out today that my bestfriend's boyfriend started telling other friends and acquaintances about our fight and how I am the one who's wrong.
Why can't everyone mind their own business?

It probably would be the best to leave my "bestfriend" and get over it.But it's hard,especially since she was my first really close friend.All my life I was surrounded by friends but I always kept a "not too close not too far" attitude,since I don't trust people easily and I don't want to get hurt.

I don't wanna go back to that,but I think it's the best option at the moment.

Thanks again for all the help :D I really appreciate it