Uhh... well, I want to share this because, it's really breaking me up. And maybe I want some little advice for my situation. I apologize for it to be long and boring. But this is my true feelings.

There is this girl, We were classmates since 1st year, but it was in 2nd year since I recognized we were in the same class. In that time, we were the best of friends, hanging around, talking about things, and she sometimes take me out for free snacks.

I never really had friends when i was in my 1st year, I was kind of the loner type (because of family problems) most of my classmates said i have scary eyes,I always underistimate myself, i always think i'm no good and better be off being alone. until she came and said hi to me.

Well, back at it, she always flirts with me, poking me, and even touching my arms and slowly tickles it even in time of our class. Well I never thought of it much, i just thought she just nagging and playing me, i thought that a kid like me well never had a chance with a girl like her, she's popular, and i even considered her kind acts to me are just pity.

When we are in our 3rd year. I think we seldom talk to each other, I remember i was focusing on my studies to show off to my parents. I never knew when but we hanged around again in about the middle of our school year. We once took a selfie with each other because she said her profile pict was getting old, I never understood what she said and just ignored it, but the next day she profiled it in her FB. I was really surprised at it, but for some reason, i just ignored it. thinking again that it might just be a prank. but after a couple of weeks, she changed it.

One day, I sorted out my feelings, and i was definitely sure that i liked her. I was like a coward soldier, Going forward and retreating in making my confession. It was a couple of months since i gathered all my guts in confessing to her, even if it was just a text message i'm gonna make the confession.

So then i confessed to her... But to my disappointment, she said she has a boyfriend, When she said that, I think my whole world was ripped, My heart was beating wildly and i was in a state of panic and I thought i was friendzoned. She then said If i had a crush on her, but at that time i was not thinking normal, I said no and i said just because i confessed to her was to test how loyal she is to her boyfriend, even though i don't even know she has one. after that, i said Lies and mean things to her. It only ended when she said she's sleepy and said she wants to go to bed. I had trouble sleeping that night.

Now in our fourth year we rarely talk, She has now a "girlfriend" that was one of my classmates. sometimes, they do something revealing and it somehow bugs me. She even said she's a player when we talked a little in one of our subject activity and she had this mood swing, and i somehow saw her lashes of wounds in her wrists like she cut it herself. I knew his mother and father was divorced, and that may be the cause of it. but really, i feel somewhat shaken, i feel like there is something missing. So I decided to tell her how I really felt and all the truth i have kept inside me for a long time in graduation, I would confess to her one more time. But this time, I will not accept any replies, I'm just gonna tell her and walk away... I think that it is the best way, even though i still like her.

I'd like you to think that, that isnt the way to go. Maybe you should talk to her more often. You need to try to comfort her. Help her feel better. But as soon as you guys talk to eachother more often. Try to tell her your problems.

>>2 thnks for the reply, I'll try to do what you say.

In my opinion that sounds like the way to go. Just by makeing peace of mind to yourself, and then you can move foward (beleave me life gets better after school). HOWEVER you dont want to let this be the moment in your life you would look back and wonder "what if" but then again this kind of feeling of yours to her will most likely faid into time and still be put to rest in you head. So in all honesty you need to follow your heart and dont lie to yourself, do what you need to do and feel brave. The worst thing that could happen is another rejection, and you might be like "I dont want to get hurt or dissapointed again" but in order to win the game of love you must be agresive and alow yourself to be most likely posibly hurt; take the risk because theres no wining without it. So you can do what you do and let this moment of your life slip by and move on to the world of bigger opportunitys, or once again restore you acked of curage again and see what may liy ahead of the life you where about to throw away. No regrets.