Hey, guys.

So, I want to move out of my house after my senior year in high school, which is going to end in May 2015. I'll be eighteen, so I can legally do it, and my grandma has agreed to pay for my flight and I've got a ride to the airport already, plus some of my stuff is going to be shipped to Texas where I'm moving. However, my parents are expecting me to stay and help them raise their kids, and I can't take the stress of it anymore (I've been raising them since I was ten, basically. Not going into detail here.) and I need to get out. It's a crappy situation to be in (again not going into detail as I want to keep this post short), and it's wearing on me. I've started self harm, although I don't do it often, and I don't like that I do it. And I need help telling my parents that I'm leaving, but I'm not sure how.

I'd like to wait until I'm walking out the door to go to my flight, but I realized the other day that they'll be expecting acceptance letters to colleges and such, and they're going to wonder why I'm packing things (they don't want me to stay in a dorm), because they want me to stay and help with the kids. How can I tell them I'm leaving without getting into a huge fight with them? (They are generally very moody and they dislike my grandmother, who I'm moving in with.)

I think you should sit them down at a table and calmly explain the situation. You should ask them not to react or speak until you are finished. When explaining tell them first that you want to leave and why, then explain how old you are and how you plan on living your new life. Don't be afraid to bring up how you are feeling held up and how this brought you depression. Try your best to not yell or blame them, but do not be afraid to cry a bit. Also, I suggest finding a solution for their child problems like a cheap day care or a good baby sitter. I highly suggest you end with that you need to move on with your life and find yourself out there. It is YOUR life not theirs. Then the hardest part, listen. No matter what they say listen to show how mature you are. Hopefully, they will let you go. If not ask them to think about it, give them a week or so, during then maybe try to find out if there are any laws against your parents forcing you to stay. (I honestly could not imagine the depression I would have if I were in your situation so I wish you the best).

>>2 Do you have any idea when would be a good time to tell them? As I stated in the first post, I don't WANT to tell them until I'm leaving for my flight. However, they're going to be expecting to hear from colleges and stuff that are in Minnesota where we live, but I'm moving back to Texas. (We moved here in February.) But if I have to tell them before then, I don't even want to think about the hell they could make things until I do leave. I mean, I can deal with it if I have to, but I'd really rather not.

>>1 >>3 I'd also wait until it was time for your flight. With the mailing issue could you try getting your mail sent elsewhere? Like to your grandma's, or renting your own postal box, or even at a highly trusted friend's house. Now lying isn't a good thing but you really do need to get out and telling them may cause them to overreact, so yes you are in the right. It may be hard telling them so maybe try to casually bringing up the subject now (and don't include the specifics, just say "what if I moved out to a college outside of the state?")and gauge their reactions. You could also call the college and tell them that you'd prefer all of your mail sent by email.

For the packing problem, I suggest slowly "organizing" belongings. Like putting your winter clothes away in boxes or a suitcase to "just get them out of the way", or even slowly sending your stuff away to your grandma's place. The key here is to do is gradually so your parents just assume that you're becoming more organized.

I hope that this helps! Good luck to you! :3

>>4 I mean they are going to be expecting acceptance letters to be sent to the house, and I wont be getting any. My current plan is to get out, then work on getting money for a cheap community class during the 2016 spring semester. I don't want to take a year off, but I wont have money to pay for anything in Fall 2015, so it's got to be put off at least a semester. (I may actually end up taking a year off if I can't find a spring semester one ;_; )

So I think they are going to know something's up when the letters don't come in. But I will ask about moving to a college out of state, to at least guess how they might react at my moving back to Texas. (My mom's husband has said that he HIGHLY recommends that I stay in the house. He came off as threatening too, so I don't want to bring it up to him if I can avoid it. But I have to, and he's the one that scares me.)

The "organizing" is a good idea, actually. I hadn't thought about that. After I move, my grandparents (not the one I'm moving in with. These are the ones giving me a ride to the airpirt) have offered to ship some of my stuff down, so I wont have to leave as much as I thought.

>>5 have you considered telling them that you'd like a year off? It's a relatively normal and understandable thing to do so they might be more accepting of the idea, and that may end up taking care of the letters problem.

>>6 Either that or give them false documents. They might not appreciate the later option though, and neither would you, deceiving them.

>>5 The thing is that I /don't/ want to take a year off. Statistically, most people who take a year off end up not going back to school, so. But the plan is to get into a cheap community college class Spring 2016 instead of Fall 2015. (I'm graduating Spring 2015, so it'd just be a semester off due to the fact that I wont have the money to do one that Fall.)

>>8 I took a year off. I am going to one of the best Universities in my country, and that is only because I took a year off.

It's not even harder to get in. Since your marks are set in stone, your average won't drop, so you'll get a response sooner than people who are still doing the courses. It is up to you if you want to or not, but I think it's not as likely as you think that you'll never go back to school. I worked in a restaurant during my year off, so, I really, really want to go back to school now. :D

Again, up to you. Just know that you can take a year off and still go to school with no problems. It has been done.

>>8 just as Inuhakka said, it's not a bad thing to take a year off. Don't keep that statistic in mind, people who take a year off to party or relax or travel may end up not going but people that take a year off in order to save up funds for school have the drive to go back. Right now I have a few weeks before I start university and I honestly scold the me of last December for acting so hastily. I was under a lot of pressure and just applied with no guarantee that I'd have the financial backing that I need. I sometimes wish that I had taken a year off instead because from time to time, I end up under a lot of finical stress. I'll probably have to take a year off sometime anyway. Securing your fiances is a good idea, even if you have to take a half a year off.

>>8 >>9 >>10 Those statistics aren't just because of people slacking off and partying. Don't forget those who enjoy their working lives or find that they're escalating in their company without a degree. College isn't necessary for some people. That year gave them a chance to figure out whether or not it's for them.

There are also others who pile responsibilities on themselves and can't afford to go to college, of course, and others who just decide to laze around. It depends on the person.

Just face it and tell them if they fight ignore them theres nothing they can do