My mom, brother, and I left that dish pit about 4 months ago when it was clear that he was going to stay in his drunken state for good after going through months of treatment TWICE before just to go back to the Smirnoff again. We've been living in our own apartment. Despite this, my mom is going to the airport tomorrow to pick him up after he's been all the way across the country at some cult facility and is supposedly going to never drink again. I am so angry at my mom for believing this because it's EXACTLY the same as the other two times. How many times must you learn a lesson the same way before you stop? We've been happy on our own for the most part, much more than we were before.
However, that is not the reason I am posting this.
I wanted to write this because that man terrifies me. I don't give a damn if he's sober for the rest of his life, or even if he gets with my mom again. She can make her own choices and pay the prices if she wants. The only thing I want is to never see his face again, never have to put up with him again. I want nothing to do with him. My mom should understand this by now, but...I just can't do it. I'm scared. Scared that she really is just going to let him waltz right into our new place, my only safe haven. This is causing me so much anxiety right now. I'm also scared that, in the event that I can't express all this too her before tomorrow, I will break down if I see him and my mom and I will forever be torn because she can't open her damn eyes choose her kids over the dish pit that treated her like she was less than worthless...

Men get drunk all the time, but what I'm curious about is... does he abuse you and you family while he was drunk? Because I recommend filing a report to the police. There must be other reasons than his drinking habits for you to despise him, no? I won't go further into your personal business unless you're fine with sharing it. But those type of information can help keep you safe if you notify someone about it. If you don't want to snitch to a policeman or someone who can help you, then that's your choice. I'm pretty sure you should let your mom be aware of anything that happens to you and you brother.

Safety is key this is a conversation you need to discuss with your mom and tell her. That's only if you're being mistreat though because if it's just drinking its not really something you can report about.