Hi Dollars. I really need your help with this. I'm running away from
home for an undetermined period of time. Most likely a full night and
maybe half of the next day, then I'll come back. Please Please Please
don't try to convince me not to. I need to do this.

My mother is incredibly abusive and I just started cutting again
(after months of not cutting) and it's her fault. The main reason I
cut is because of the way she treats me. Now I've cut 3 times in the
past 5 days, each time because of her. So I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna
run away sometime soon, once I've got everything planned out. I just need help planning.

I live in a relatively crime-less area. It's right near my old middle
school and my current highschool. It's very close to the lively and
beautiful downtown, which is full of shops, eateries, and open area's
like parks and sitting area's. I'm near a pretty populated area in
general. I'm right near a starbucks and a Jamba Juice smoothie place
too. I know the area pretty well, unfortunately so does my mother. My
father is not in the picture and never has been. My step father and my
mother are getting divorced, so my step father lives in San Francisco.
Yes i live in California. I'm older than 13, I swear. I have a
girlfriend (I'm a lesbian) and she would have a heart attack if she
found out I was planning to run away for a night. I have a therapist
who my mother won't listen to for shit. I'm not in summer school,
thank god. I have no friends, that's for sure. I've been planning to
run away for a while, and I've walked out before because my mother was
drunk. (She's a borderline alcoholic. As in, she's really close to
what would count as being an alcoholic.) That was the first time I ran
away, and only for about 7 hours. The second time was when she told me
to run away because she hated me and hated being around me. She said
she hated living with me, and hated being my mother. The first time I
ran away when she got drunk, after I came back when she was sober, she
laughed at me when I told her I had left for the day. I went to my
room and pretty much spent the night crying. The second time I came
back she ignored me for a while, and then told me later that I was a
selfish bitch and that she would send me away if she could.

Dear dollars, I was going to post this thread a couple of hours ago, at about 5 o'clock. It's currently 9:30 pm where I am, and basically, I've gottan into tons of arguments with my mother today. The last bit of it was due to her claiming she was not letting me attend therapy anymore. I need to attend therapy because I'm clinically depressed and have major anxiety. So, she told me to run away, and pointed to the door. I went to my room, packed a bag, and now I've left. I've run away, and I'm sitting in a Starbucks posting this.
Please help me dollars. Where do I go? What do I do (besides return home)? Can I get arrested for running away? How do I go about this "running away." Please help me dollars.

~a person

You won't get arrested for running away, but you'll get scolded. I suggest staying up the night drifting between public places (unless you're confident in your defense abilities and want to risk sleeping in the woods or something).

If you want to get help and your mom is legitimately abusive, look up family help hotlines for your area online and call one of them. You need advice from a professional at this point (but don't tell them where you are or who you are from the start or else they might send someone to pick you up).

How much money do you have with you right now?

I have about 3 dollars in cash, and about 100 dollars in target gift cards. Oh wait, lemme check my wallet. Ok I have about 13 dollars in cash. I have a 50 dollar gift card to Barnes and nobles. I have about 15 dollars to hot topic. I have my high school ID, and that's the only ID I have. I have a change of clothes, lots of pads (cuz I only have 1 pair of fucking underwear) and deodorant. I have my sowing kit, bandaides, Neosporin, and my purse, all of which is in a bag. It's a small blue bag about the size of my whole abdomen and as tall as about up to my neck from my hips.(and I'm pretty skinny and I'm 5 foot 8.) I brought my sweater and my sunglases, my phone and my headphones, and I'm wearing flip flops. I'm wearing a red t-shirt and black shorts.

Oh and I'm on my phone, so I brought a charger.

How was the night? Did you end up going home or not?

All i say is that you need to get away form bullshit then go leagle sue if she is abusive

All i say is that you need to get away form bullshit then go leagle sue if she is abusive

>>1 keep us updated as best as you can okay? That being said, and I know I'm pretty late about replying but I'll do it anyway, I agree with Barabi, public places are your best bet. I know that McDonalds is open 24hrs and if you use your $3 to buy a coffee then that makes you a paying customer and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be allowed to kick you out. If worse came to worse could you possibly stay with your girlfriend? Your mother sounds pretty abusive, I suggest possibly getting the law involved or even calling a hotline for advice as previously suggested. Good luck to you, I wish you the best!

Person,

In your current situation, running away for a while seems improbable. But if you say you can head back for after a day and half, I suggest you do so. Unless you have someone that can take you in. If you don't want to involve your girlfriend, that's fine. That being said, do you have any relatives around? Are you on good terms with your step-dad, would he be able to watch over you for the time being?

'Cause I'm telling you, what you have on you right now, ain't much. If those gift cards can't get you any food and water, you're gonna run out of options, and fast. $13 is sufficient enough, if you head to a fast food joint ordering from the dollar menu. Although, considering you'll be staying out on the streets for the night, you need to find a safe spot to sleep; a bench, somewhere with some cover, kid's park maybe. You decide to prolong this flee?(No more than 3 or 4 days.) You need to keep moving/switching, as well as getting more cash if you can. But do not, in any attempt, steal. Big consequences you don't want to deal with. 5 things to prioritize: Safety, food, shelter, health, and hygiene. And perhaps connection (phone & wifi). Use public bathrooms at big grocery stores(less traffic), public showers at the pool, wifi and charging outlets at cafe's.

When it comes down to it, you need to acknowledge you're a minor. So if you are caught somehow, you may be taken in to custody or sent home for breaking curfew. Differs between states. Also, your mother has the ability to file a runaway report, meaning they can track your phone via SIM card. But she doesn't seem the type to go through that much trouble, no offense.

Take the opportunity to examine the position you're put in, measure out the pro's and con's. With this kind of abuse, do you think you can live at home? Does it affect your physical/mental health? Will it keep you from attending therapy? 'Cause from what I've read, no child deserves this kind of bullshit. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Depression, anxiety, and self-harm? You'll need to recognize the fact that you require help to get back into stability.

This is what I would really like you to do (just my opinion): Call the runaway hotline which is basically 1 800 RUNAWAY(786 2929). Tell them everything that's happened, what you're doing now, and what you want to do. It's 24/7 and confidential, so no worries. Keep in mind, the piss poor parent supervision makes you unable to maintain a healthy way of living, more or less. So possibly, get in touch with the Foster Care System and the CASA. It may be a stretch and some believe it could be worse for who knows what reason. To be honest, an ex-girlfriend of mine was in foster care and she did just fine, she was able to attend therapy and school normally, her social worker helped out too, so she was in good hands and I'd say that's the best option for you too (for a last resort). I don't know if you love or hate your momma but I could care less; worry about you and your well-being. Everything else can be put on hold.
I've seen people drive themselves into the ground because of abuse, and they were too afraid/ashamed to go out and search for help. But to me, you appear to be one hell of a strong gal, so I know you'll make the right decision. Do what you gotta do. Hell, make some goals of your own. Find a better living condition. Go to school and therapy. Maintain a healthy relationship with your girl. Write down the steps on how to get there and follow through.

So goodluck and take care.

- YITMAS

I'll like to know your age bc if you're younger than 18 she can call for missing child. Call the cops before she makes up bs or if you're older. Report that you have been attacked by your mother that shes highly abusive and get into details. The better the details the more serious the police will get.

Hey dollars. I'm home, unhappy, miserable.

I went home a bit past midnight after some blackmail and dick-moves from my mother. When I went back she only yelled at me and told me I was selfish and that she didn't give a shit what I did but that disrespecting her authority wasn't aloud and that running away was disrespectful. So yeah, I'm back home.

I've decided to make a more specific plan. The summer is almost over, and school has always been hell for me. My mother turns into an even more abusive manipulative person during the school year, so I've decided, if I feel like I need to leave, I'm going to keep a bag packed under my bed, and grab it when I'm wanting to leave. I thank you all for your advice, it really helps me. I wish I could run away for good, but that would mean scaring my girlfriend and getting out of touch with her more often than I'd like. Unfortunately, i just have to stay here and survive this bullshit onslaught. I am under 18, but I have under two years left until I'm legal adult. I just really hope I can survive these last two years. I'm prepared to leave again, and spend the night on the streets. I'll take any advice I can get to prepare myself for that kind of situation.

I'm so sorry it took so long to reply. After I got back home, my mother has been keeping a very close eye on me. I couldn't let her see me posting on the Dollars or she would use parental controls and block it from my computer or something drastic like that. I would've gotten up in the middle of the night and posted sometime last night or the night before, but my mother is seriously some kind of fucking ninja. I swear, she has ears like a blood hound, and is an incredibly light sleeper. She always sleeps with her door open to, and I can't close it because the doors in our house are incredibly squeaky. I got up to get a glass of water last night and was contemplating getting on the computer, but she bitched at me the second I turned the kitchen faucet on. One second she's snoring the next she's not. Anyway, I'm back now, she's in the shower, and going over to her stupid boyfriends house tonight, giving me some private time. I think this "Hawk eyes monitoring phase" has passed for the time being, since she's leaving me home alone.

If you guys don't mind I'd like to vent a little bit. What I want to get when running away, is an apology from my mother. I wish I could run away, and be free from her. That I can do, even if it's just for a seriously short amount of time. Because there's too many things that bring me home. The most important being my girlfriend. If she found out I was planning to run away over an entire night, she'd have a heart attack. I'd do anything for her, even suffer my mothers torment. Secondly, I want to be able to come home and have her apologize and say she loves me. I want her to tell me she's proud of me, and that she doesn't mean to hurt me. I just don't see that happening. And she only ever tells me she loves me when we've finished fighting, and I'm mad at her. She'll try to give me a kiss when I'm crying and telling her she's being cruel, then she'll walk away. When I look at her like she's crazy for acing like we're not fighting, she'll look at me like I've grown a second head. It's some stupid part of her manipulation act. Anyway, she never tells me she's proud of me, and rarely tells me she loves me, and frequently tells me how much she hates me, and all the things that are wrong with me. I'm sure you all understand why I'm needing to get away. I can't go live with my step father (the one my mother is divorcing) and I hate her boyfriend beyond an amount that should be humanly possible. I also hate my step fathers girlfriend. I'm desperate, and I'm truly grateful for the help you all are providing. When I'm not on the dollars website I'm venting to my girlfriend. Thank you all.

~Person

Person,

Man, you're like in one of the worst situations. Lemme straighten this out: 16, dealing w/ abuse, depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Wants to run; hoping to mend mother-daughter relationship, can't ask girlfriend or step-dad for help, hates
mother's boyfriend as well as step-dad's girlfriend. Also, no friends that can physically aid you either.

If you decide to keep running every time a problem at home occurs? Well, no one can stop you. Will this play out how you want it to? To have her apologize and eventually be proud of you? Maybe, if your mother makes a drastic change on herself, somehow. Although, people are creatures of habit. I don't want to bring your hopes down, but it's gonna be a big gamble.

Honestly, I believe you've got too much on your plate. And I don't doubt that you can bear all of it.. It's just, even the toughest have a limit. A point where they can't withstand the amount of weight placed onto them. I, personally, do not want that for you at all. I don't want you to endure it for the next 2 years. Doesn't seem like a big number but it's well over 700 days.

I'd like to know what you're gonna do when you are 18 and legal. Going to college and dorming would be beneficial in many ways. But that'll depend on how you do throughout high school. Surely you're not considering on actually taking off and running to God knows where. 'Cause you do not want be prolonging this dilemma you've got. It could one hell of an interesting adventure but I wouldn't take any chances.

Until then, you wanna keep doing you and follow with that plan? That's okay. So! When summers over, you'll be in school. If there are days you don't want deal with your mother and avoid being home, you have the option to stay out after school (Like every other teenager out there). Just do your homework, work on them studies, hang out with the girl, eat; pass the time till late. Head home and straight to the bed.
I recommend finding a part-time so you can earn some cash. Anywhere for minimum wage; cashier, waitress, etc.

Now, when you want to leave in the middle of the night or on a day w/o school it's gonna vary how far and how long you wanna stay out. Less than a day (Not overnight): Schoolbag, essentials, phone, laptop(maybe), music player, chargers, water, snacks, and small amount of cash(20 is fine). Overnight: Same, just bring a blanket or coat. Couple of nights: Bigger bag; Add more food/water, bring toothbrush/toothpaste, comfy clothes/shoes, a hat, sunglasses, pepper spray/small switchblade and more money; carrying too much is risky, so try to get your hands on a debit card. Do not extend any longer than that; you literally won't survive. You'll be filed as a missing child, and that's a big no-no. Having said that, know the locations of big store public restrooms, public pools with showers, public parks, cafe's with free wifi & outlets, libraries, crowded areas and not so crowded areas(woods), police station, and a fast food joint that gives free refills. You could be leaving for different reasons. Say if your phone got taken away and you need to go online to talk to someone? Grab laptop and head to the cafe/library. Want to block out the world and be alone? Go to quiet areas, plug in the ipod and distract yourself or nap. Running and don't want to be found? Turn off phone, tie up hair, put on glasses & hat, find large amount of people in downtown and blend in. Hopefully it's not that extreme, but just for future reference.

Here's the thing. Repeating this over and over is not likely to work. One being your mother claims it to a sign of disrespect or some bs, so that already contradicts your intentions of obtaining that apology. Two, when you are filed as missing, you could be placed in Child In Need of Supervision(CHINS) as well as being referred to the Child Protection Services. I know that won't fitting for you since you don't want your girl to find out.

It is difficult to say what will/would happen. And at times you gotta go with your gut. Try not to put yourself in any danger or of the sort. And feel free to update whenever on this thread, we'll be around.

- YITMAS

I had a feeling that'll happen, my lover goes through the same things its really hard to help a person in that condition. My parents usually try to make me turn my back on people that goes through it but if they are so religious why do they turn their back on the need. If I ever needed help I would like someone to help me too. Hope you do get through the 2yrs, try as much as possible to get a job even though you're in the streets. It will be rough hope you know a good location even ask friends if you must.

Thx you guys. roxanne, I have been there before, where people turn there back on me when i need them most. But never have I ever turned my back on somebody else in need.

My girlfriend, is always there for me, and is so supportive and tolerant of the things I put her through. I don't mean to put her through them at all, it's just the kind of life I'm living. It's fucking miserable, and to be dating somebody like that takes a lot. She's helped me through so many emotional outbursts because my mother made me cry or made me angry, and she never turns her back on me. i'm really glad to know I can got you guys, and that I have somewhere I can anonymously vent.

If you guys don't mind a bit more ranting, I'd like to say something else about my mother. I think she has a lot of problems. I mean, I KNOW she has a lot of problems, but she's gotten me tied up in them my entire life, and most of my faults are because of her. First it was new SINGLE parent, then it was DATING parent, then it was PROTECTIVE MARRIED parent, then it was OVERPROTECTIVE SPOUSE CONTROLLING parent. (She thinks my step-father ruined their marriage, it was quite clearly half-in-half.) After that it was MINUTELY ABUSIVE parent, and now it's EXTREMELY ABUSIVE, Slutty, out-of-control drinking, terrible role model parent. Lemme give you a few examples. When I was little, she used to watch me brush my teeth. This is normal for some parents if you're not married and have a child while living in absolute poverty. (yes we were incredibly poor back then) So I can understand why she would want to make sure i'm taking care of myself and perhaps not wasting some of our few valuable resources. But by the time I was 10, and she was married, and we had become MUCH wealthier, she was going insane with these overprotective things. She would check my hair while I was in the shower and make sure I was washing it. She would make me keep the door open to my baths so she could check on me for whatever the fuck the reason. She would check my teeth, as in scrape them with her fingernail and shine a light on them, up until I was 15!!! I'm 16 now! She would make me wash my face in front of her, and sometimes she wouldn't stand next to me, but she would make me come to wherever she was in the house and show her my soaped-up face. She would sometimes even smell my face and hands if she didn't see the soap. She would make me send her pictures of the dog pissing when i let him out to use the bathroom, then she suddenly decided she didn't trust me AT ALL and took away the internet on my IPHONE and restricted me from sending pictures on my phone. This happened when i was going into 7th grade. It's so fucked up the way my mother treats me. I've tried talking to her for years, but all she does is throw me into therapy and tell them to deal with it, and now that she doesn't like what the therapist is saying about her shitty parenting styles, she done with it. She's always been willing to sacrifice my happiness for her security and reputation. She always cares too much about what people think of her, and never gives a shit how I feel. This is WHOLE story is only one part of the many reasons as to why I want to run away.

If you all don't mind my asking, have any of you ever dealt with these kinds of parents? Have you ever been in my situation? Do you know anybody going through this? Thoughts and comments are OF COURSE welcome.

Its clear enough don't worry, I don't want to put your complete personal info out there so its fine. My lover gets abused b/c her mom suffers from stress as well there's a lot I know about her mom that I can see how she could've been a good person. Instead she have her ways of don't wanting my lover to live better or happy even though a parent is suppose to let you have that. She drinks as well I won't say much what she lost in life but it was depressing and now its like she lost all care in the world. She likes me a lot but when she was telling my lover she didn't want me around my lover ask, "What did she do wrong?" She couldn't replied but say I don't want her here, and that's it. Of course I didn't like the sound of that, I was hiding try holding back to say something but I successfully didn't but I did cry. I knew it would've been worst if I have. My lover hugged me and said, She doesn't mean it she just always want to take my happiness away. Her mom is very manipulative I'm actually thinking about telling the Therapist with my lover. Therapy is a good place to talk it over. You should try getting that again. The reason for my lover problems is b/c of my lover mom PTSD. Now my lover suffers the same way with personality disorder, OCD, Insomnia and with a disease called Lupus. I said, I will stay by my lover side even if dying, it would be the saddest day of my life but I'm happy to ever meet such a person and hopefully my lover got the will to keep moving. A very strong person that can take so much, I'm just hoping to make my lover smile to stay. I don't want my lover to feel happiness so short and it just fades in the end. I'm sure your lover feels the same doing her best to keep you happy so yeah hold her close and never let go. That person is true if they stay. I'm very emotional so in all honest I actually shed tears typing this. So really good luck and besides you but to all the people with the same problem.

Hey person another peice of advise, you want to keep some sort of weapon on you wether it's a knife or a gun. I say this because of several reasons; you need to be able to protect yourself with something effective in a matter of seconds, two if you get stuck or something in that area you are able to free yourself. Also pack light, don't take it if you don't need it. With all luck, I hope you are able to get out of you dangerous situation.

You sound a lot like me. Don't worry, in two years, if you're not being financially abused on top of it all, like I was, you'll be out of there sooner than you think. Also, stop cutting as soon as you can. I think I stopped around when I was sixteen. Plus, you have a girlfriend that is going to see that. I'm nineteen now, and still wondering if I ever will. Sometimes, I even completely forget the scars are there, but occasionally, when the moment strikes, I still find myself tugging down my sleeve in panic.

Shamrockχ is right, you should stop cutting yourself plus you do have a gf. I don't think your gf would recommend you to continue, instead she should help your mental and emotional state. Its painful to see your own lover hurting themselves to ease the pain they're handling already and feeling. Besides you getting hurt, you're probably hurting your lover with your own actions. You obviously believe there's more to live for if you're reaching out for help and you have someone you care about. Try to consider what you have over what you don't b/c in the end you're hurting the person that cares for you too. I just have to ask is it worth it? The answer is "No" You already share the feeling together b/c love is strong and they feel your pain but your action will only bring more pain.

hey person i've been there before and it really sucks i know and i know you might be tired of hearing this but don't be it really does get better i never thought in a million years it would for me and everyone else i knew with shit parents but it actually did and in about 2 years you'll have free will to do whatever the heck you want and leave your past behind things can get tough but if you just hang in there you'll be able to honestly say one day that you made it .

I SAY TO YOU DO NOT! You know why? "Because the world isn't as bad as you think." - Celty

There's more to life than it bro, I feel ya.

I hate to possibly contradict what may have been a "stick it out" encouragement discussion, but I have also been in this kind of situation, where all you can think is "two more years, just two more years", and my experience is that it is not worth it to try and tough it out. It does no one, especially you, any good at all to suffer like that if there is something you can do to be happier. My wait time was three years, but a few months later and I left my disgusting, unhealthy, and mentally crippling arrangements.
You mentioned that school is miserable, but isn't there someone, maybe even someone you haven't talked to before, that could help? For me, it was the principal and vice principal. The moment I went to them, they helped me. They sat with me as I called CPS, and even offered the option of continuously using the showers in the locker rooms at school and extra food to take with me for home and such. I know it often feels like such people in authority wouldn't help, but please give it a try if you are still in these conditions when school starts again.
And like I said, counting down the unchanging years is not a good idea. Please do EVERYTHING you POSSIBLY can to improve your situation.

School is a good place but the principal and vice could've gotten in trouble for that, sometimes they can't risk too much with their job but sometimes they do pull some strings too. School is also important to finish that's a easier way than taking the GED and it gets harder every year. If anything still try finishing school and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I told my lover that and even an x told my lover she had to finish school, that's the best way.

Dear Person,
I feel so bad for you, and sadly I have seen somewhat of what you are dealing with going on in my family with my sister. I completely understand why you feel the need to run away, but it would be best to contact the police, family members, friends, the school, and just try to get away from her without running away. It will only make things worse. Just remember that this point in your life will change. Life is constantly changing, and do not worry about being stuck like this. This is a test and you need to overcome it in the right way. We are all here for you, and there are so many people in the world willing to help. "You don't shine as bright in the light as you do in the dark." The most important thing to have is hope. IT sounds cheesy, but it is true. If have to have hope and faith if you are going to get through this. Okay, usually I don't say this, but contacting a local church or talking with a pastor can help you greatly. I have some weird mental disorder that isn't even listed as a disorder, but it was tearing me apart. I went to a summer camp, and chapel just changed my life. I now know that there is someone watching over me and caring for me. Even if it doesn't seem like it now, He is doing everything for you. You will pull out of this and be a magnificent person. You just have to overcome these trials, and its okay to ask for help. I will pray for you, and I will wish you the best of luck. http://www.womensbiblecafe.com/prayer-wall/ (scroll down all the way and post when you feel lost)

http://thenicestplaceontheinter.net/