So a girl in my grade committed suicide like 2 days ago, and everyone's posting like RIP XX (XX in place of her name), like posting "Now there's another angel in heaven." And quite honestly I'm getting very annoyed. No one ever talked to her, so why are you all sobby about her now, saying like "I was too late." Well, if she hadn't done it I bet $20 you would still never be friends with her, and you would still talk about how much of a slut she is (I've heard people talking about her). So, I feel bad about it and all, but I'm not gonna lie and say I'm crying for her or I'm sorry for not talking to her, because I'm not! I didn't know her, and neither did half those people posting about their sadness.

People have a tendency to enjoy the limelight. It's not unusual to hear of people behaving like this.
It's a pretty shitty thing to do and I know I would personally be furious, but there's little you can do about it I'm afraid.
In regards to you not crying about it, I'm inclined to respect you for it. No one can blame you for not really caring about the death of someone you didn't know.

>>1 It's more important to be respectful of how other people feel about it. I personally don't agree with the idea of respecting someone more after they are dead, but many other people do. It's important to respect them, and so this may include saying things like 'It's very sad, she was a good person,' etc, even though you may not feel that way. It's not a lot to ask, so it's something reasonable you can do to help the family, friends, etc who are experiencing a terrible loss. Some people don't like when others say stuff like that, but most of the time it is comforting to know other people feel the same way you do.

To a certain extent, that's how people make themselves feel better about a tragedy like this. Not many people like to admit they didn't like someone after they are dead. It's easier to just say you are very sad about it like everyone else.

I would also feel angry, given my beliefs surrounding death and respect, but I would highly recommend keeping those feelings to yourself. Calling people out about it will not solve anything or benefit anyone.

I don't think Hana means it in quite that way. It's not necessarily a case of them supporting the family so much as it's them cashing in on a tragedy and becoming a part of something that's really nothing to do with them.

In saying that though, I do agree that it's probably best to keep your opinions to yourself.

>>4 That may be how Hana meant it to sound, but that doesn't necessarily she is right in assessing the situation that way. If the girl was quiet, then Hana knows nothing about her. Who is she to judge how well those people knew her? She doesn't know whether or not those people may have talked to her beyond class. They may also feel guilty for not stepping in to help when she was bullied or for bullying her, which can be something to cry over for them. You just don't know.

And regardless, seeing someone you've spent years of your life learning alongside go is a hard thing for many people. It doesn't matter if you knew them personally.

In fact, there was a boy who transferred in my class a few years ago who I admired. We didn't talk much, and his situation wasn't a very pretty one. He ended up overdosing halfway through the year. I didn't find out until the day after because I was absent, but I was absolutely heart broken. I ended up crying for the rest of the in the nurses office about it. Did I know him well? No. Would I have become a close friend of his even if he survived? Probably not. Did I call him a druggie more than once? Yep. Would I still call him a druggie now? Of course.

But I still respected him, and he left an impression on me as a person. It was still a sad thing to see him go. There are many shades of gray in the relations of people. There's more than just friendship and love in the world, and you'll never be able to emphasize with their emotions until you understand that.

>>1 I'm happen in the area of something like this as well, so these thoughts are currently in my head ;)

People generally don't speak openly when defaming/insulting a person, and in my belief it shouldn't be done mindlessly/without cause. However, it is frequently done 'behind backs' (which in my opinion is no lesser of an evil). But there is some reason to it, and it is that to speak openly is a liability to one's character. When someone dies though, it is a sensitive time for both family and public in general. For someone to speak ill of person openly or in confidence, that would be less likely to be taken lightly. i.e., it is more of a risk to one's own character. However, speaking positively has 2 major purposes.

1) For one who partook in the slander of the deceased person, it is tool to diffuse any possible bad feelings/blame toward themselves accrued by their slander. This is more commonly the case for those who respond with lines such as 'I miss (him/her) so much!', 'He/She was such a good person', etc.

2) It is secondly used as a form of repentance, or an escape from inward guilt (rather than a diversion meant for others).

Both these tactics are (to my notice) frequently displayed by passive bystanders. That accounts for the seemingly disproportionate amount of sympathy. The likely many people who passively observed the deceased being verbally battered are experiencing guilt for their unwillingness to remedy the situation, and are accordingly 'repenting' in what is the most easy manner available to them.

My point in saying all this, is that I believe this is the cause of what you're(we're) observing and it's something that's quite natural; and though irritating, I see it as rather unavoidable given the state of society and perhaps something deeper with us.

I commend you on being a better person than I am. Back in my high school days a boy in my year killed himself and I couldn't have cared less. We weren't close. We talked maybe a handful of times and had sex at a party once, but I didn't particularly care. It was a shame, but I had no stronger feelings.

Regardless of what the situation is, I do believe that we agree that Hana should keep out of it, however.