So there's this girl I briefly dated for a few days. I found her cute; good-looking and a good cook. I didn't even mind that she has walking problems (if her surgery fails, she may be stranded to a wheelchair for life, if this detail is significant). I still don't - not that it matters because I lost interest in her.

See, I'm an open-minded guy. I don't mind gays. I don't mind lesbians. I don't mind trannies and all "third genders" that people speak of. We were talking one night and it somehow led to the discussion about homosexuality. Apparently, she is a fujoshi, which is fine by me. The thing is, she absolutely hates lesbians because she finds them "icky". I told her that it's unfair how she fangirls over man/man and condemns woman/woman relationships, and she said this ..

"You're bisexual. What do you know." (Yes, I am bisexual. Did I forget to mention that? Okay.)

That really put me off. It didn't matter how pretty she is or how sweet she can be - her ignorance just repulsed me. I told her we should stop talking because I have a lot of LGBT friends and I cannot imagine wanting her by my side considering the attitude she displayed. She was confused as to why I was "mad" and said her goodbye.

Next day, she texted me and said she misses me terribly. I felt bad and said, "Okay, we can be friends." Soon after that incident, she started talking about her condition, and that her appetite is lacking, and that her head is hurting from headaches. As a friend, I suggested her to visit the doctor.

She only whined further. Then it sounded pretty serious so I asked her how long it has been going on, because she seemed absolutely fine to me when we were "together". I even constantly asked her if she felt well during those days. Here's the part that ticked me off - it has been going on since March.

I got pissed (who wouldn't?!) and asked her why had't she just made an appointment with the doctor in the clinic 10 minutes from her place, and she said, "He's mean and talks me down." I honestly just think that he reprimanded her because of her blatant inability to take care of herself for the sake of herself.

Nowadays, she would message me every. Single. Night. Asking about my day. Daily, my answer would be, "It's been okay." and then she proceeds to mention that a lot of girls must be after me because of my handsome looks (I personally think I look mediocre). It makes me feel awkward. Then she makes it even more awkward for me by saying, "I read somewhere that having sex, eating and exercising when you're sad help. I wish I have a partner to actually have sex with, lol."

I'm sick of her right now. I don't know how to behave without sounding irritated towards her - and I don't know how to outright say it in case she's one of those Suicide Girls.

Help?

I've been in your situation before with one of my guy friends. :\ She's 100% trying to guilt trip you into getting back together with her. Don't believe a single thing she says. You're best off telling her that you won't be speaking to her again until she gains a sense of maturity. In the mean time, remove her from any social media outlets you're on and block her number from your phone. You should also contact her parents after doing this, even if it's just a quick message warning them that she's been emotionally unstable and that you're tired of being her pillar but are concerned she may do something dangerous.

That's that. Anything that happens as a result is no longer your fault.

By the way, this is not just a selfish thing for you to do. She is never going to get better and graduate from this attitude if you're always there for her to lie and bullshit to. She needs to understand that she can't get everything she wants by taking that kind of stance.

Thanks, BarabiSama. :\ Final rant about her: we were on Skype, talking, and it was time for her to have a meal. So I told her to just eat outside her room (since I want her to try and socialise with people, but I don't want to say it obviously). Instead, she took her chicken steak and ate it while we Skyped because her dad would "nag her about having a grumpy expression all the time".

But yeah, I'll give her an ultimatum some time soon if she keeps this up. I'm swamped with college projects and I just don't have the energy to steel up my resolve if she does - which I know she will - bawl and plea.

>>4 I understand. Good luck with everything :o

I think cutting her off completely is a bit harsh... I understand that you are annoyed, and some of the things you say she says sounds pretty bratty(for a lack of another word), but if she has problems walking, and may be facing a life in a wheelchair, she probably has her share of emotional baggage. I would say instead of completely cutting her off, tell her exactly what is aggitating you. If she still comes to you with a problem, give her a solution. Instead of "why dont you...?" say "just (go/do)...". If she continues to complain just say "i've given you the best solution I can come up with, beyond that, I cant help". As for the entire sex partner guilt trip thing, tell her it makes you uncomfortable and if she continues, you will stop talking to her. If she continues then stop talking to her. I dont disagree that sometimes you need to just stop talking to people, but doing that out of nowhere isn't cool. Just makes yourself clear "I want to be friend and nothing more. (Insert things she's doing) is annoying me. I have my own problems to deal with. If you cant stop, I cant continue to talk to you. Your choice." That gives her the chance to change. Hope I helped. -Xenon

>>6 And what do you think she's going to do when he says that? She'll cry and whine and make him feel absolutely terrible. If I thought OP was strong enough to not put up with that, I would have suggested it. Just stepping away with a few words explaining it will contain that whole backlash on her end and keep OP from being guilt-tripped into the "bad guy" role.

>>6 I know. I feel bad for some things I've said to her about two weeks ago when I visited her.

Her: I'll never find someone else.
Me: Don't say that. The doctor said there's a one out of ten chance that it fails, right?
Her: What if my luck is just that shitty?
Me: If someone loves you enough, they wouldn't let that bother them.
Her: You used to date a girl with leukemia who passed away, right? You knew she couldn't be saved and you still ended up liking her.
Me: I don't like speaking of the dead, especially an ex of mine.
Her: Oh, okay. Sorry.
Me: Hm, yeah. Focus on positivity and the better possible outcomes. Don't jinx yourself. If you're really worried about being alone for life, don't. I'm sure you will meet a lot more people because we're only 22.
Her: You meet a lot of people. I don't.
Me: I'm redoing graduate school for the third time. You can, too, if you want to. Enriching yourself can help you find a partner (hint, hint!).
Her: I can't find anyone better than you anyway.
Me: *awkward laugh* Why not?
Her: You're a Japanese who graduated LLE (Language and Literature in English), you're tall (175cm), your name is cool, you play sports, sing and play the guitar, and you're popular (because I'm retaking school for the third time!). You're perfect. No one beats being perfect.
Me: ... you're a joke.

I stormed out from her room after that and left. She called me up and apologized "for whatever I said wrong so please forgive me". I told her that she's expecting crazy things for the next guy who's going to be there for her, and that she's too obsessed with my traits, and she said there's nothing wrong with a girl who wants the best for herself!

She's not limping in case you guys are wondering. It's not that bad (yet? Hopefully not). Her previous doctor advised her to avoid walking around for "long periods of time", that's all. I took her out on a date once (movie, restaurant, drive, home) and she seemed fine to me. =|

I advised her to read and join discussions on the internet if she really doesn't want to hang out with people in person, so she read manga. Shoujo manga. And then she'll call me up to talk about how I'm similar to the main character.

What would YOU guys do? =|

It's pretty obvious that she's in love with you, but you have to be clear with her that you don't feel the same anymore. The longer you leave her hanged up, the worse the situation will become. If you care about her health and you see her as her friend you have to state it clear. Even if she thinks that you are "perfect for her" you have to speak clearly and state that you can't love her the same way she does. Trying to get words out her instead of subtle hints...do you personally think it would be an option to consider?
I'm not sure if I'm helping you, eh. I agree with Barabi in terms of talking to her parents, if they know what's going on it will be easier for them to help their daughter.
I've been in this kind of situation before, but i was "playing" the part of the obsessed one. The girl i was mad for started to act and speak aggressively to push me off but this only prolonged my suffering.
You have to explain your reasons to stop talking to her, if you decide to do so. If she has no clear idea of what you're going through she'll only blame herself more and it will be only harder for her. You don't have to guide her or "illude" her again (I'm pretty sure you never did but heavens knows what paranoias she is building in her head).
Has she ever talked to you about committing suicide of hurting herself in a serious way? If she hasn't, don't worry then about her doing that. If a person is naturally prone to be feared about pain it won't most likely happen.

I don't know if this somewhat helped. I also apologize for my English.

>>9 I told her I don't have those feelings for her anymore. Explicitly. Looked her in the eye. :\ I think that should be "clear" enough.

I hinted at her because she keeps whining about being "forever alone dot jpg". *headdesk* I'm sorry for complaining about this and not being a man about it by spelling everything out for her. As for her being suicidal, well, she's never said it but I'm afraid of her being inspired by her ex boyfriend.

When we were together for (a little) over a week, her ex kept texting her random things - just like she is doing right now. In the end he threatened that if she doesn't get back together with him, he will kill himself. That was a month ago. I heard from my friends that he's dating someone else right now.

I thought of talking to her ex since they share similar experiences but he's been telling our mutual friends that I "seduced" her while they were together, even though they already weren't together for weeks. He hates me as much as I despise him for making things tense for me with a few of my buddies. OTL

I had a similar experience. I cut him off in cold blood. Really, if someone can't take care of himself/herself to a degree at least, then I wouldn't trust them with my feelings.

(Baby don't hurt me.)

/Cough.

And for the record? Your friends suck for being easily swayed by gossips.

>>9 You have a pretty snazzy English usage for someone whose English is not their first language (I'm just guessing, really).

Aw, man. This thread is so cringworthy. Brings back bad memories of when I was like that girl...
Having been on the other side of the situation, though, I guess I may be able to give you some decent enough advice.
Don't just stop talking to her and ignore her. She won't know what's wrong, and will only pester you more trying to figure out. You do stupid things when you're in love, and think stupidly. I'm not sure if it was this way for her...But I remember when I was in love, I was so caught between wanting to show my true self to him and wanting to impress him that I just went...overboard. Fucked it up beyond repair. Still regret to this day. Mainly because I'm still not sure exactly what I did wrong.
I know she's awkward to be around, and probably feels like a weight pulling you back...But don't do that to her. I'm not telling you to force yourself to stay with her out of pity. That's the worse you could do.
Just...Tell her why, then leave. The things she said that offended you or made you feel awkward, tell her them before saying goodbye. Believe me, whatever you say couldn't possibly be as bad as what her imagination comes up with while she wonders, if she felt so insecure about herself and the relationship that she'd act like that.

>>10
Oh. Whoops. Already solved? Okay.

>>14 Heh heh. The issue is over with now, for good I hope. She's promised to behave herself as long as I'm her friend. But in return, I'm not allowed to disclose my relationship status to anyone if I get together with another person - not to our friends even because someone might tell her.

My brother says it sounds like an over-the-line request but I'm happy as long as I don't get guilted into doing things! Thanks for everyone's advice.