So, hi, I guess. My name is Slarki and I am curios. Could you tell me what friends are for you and how you feel about friends? I am interested in other people's perpectives so I would really appreciate your participation.

For me personally: I do not really know how I feel about friends. I do know if someone treats me well and if someone likes me and who I should be friendly to, but I do not feel like happy or anything. It is strange. Also I don't feel like I have any real emotional connection to anybody, it is like I'm alone among my friends.

So, feel free to post your situation/thoughts/opinion/anything really.

Real friends (for me) are like family. They could have be my brother or sister in another life. Maybe I think that because I'm an only child (now)...
After that I'm not someone who "class" on leaders of "friendship". I've friends I can trust, some others I can't about some subjects. Some with hobbies in common, other on way of thinking, etc...
Actually I kinda fell like you on the past to say the truth. But I just discovers that I was only scared do lose them. I closed my heart. I didn't wanted to involve me with them : to not suffer when we graduate and go our own way. But, with Internet, phones and all new technologies keeping contact with friends is easier. So I just try to see them now even if we don't see us often now. I play LoL games with some, I watch anime with other in Skype call, I discuss about our project. Etc...
For us who lives with Internet, material things as become much less important. People presence, in my life at least, is more than just knowing we are physically close. It's something else.
Remember that, maybe you are the only one on you neighborhood, but there is a lot like you on the Internet ! =D

Anyway. Maybe those friends of your's aren't the right one. Maybe you are closed to them like I did. Maybe you don't have enough memory in common so go make some ;) I don't know you so I only can give example.

But I feel like I never meet true friends. And maybe the day I'll do I'll fall in love for them. Fore me there isn't real differences between love and friendships. At least the same different there is between love and family love.
Maybe I'm too optimistic ^^ But we need some don't we ?

And you ? What do you have in common with those

... friends.
Sorry I posted too fast.

I agree somewhat with Amie, your friends are a bit like family. I normally class my friend in to groups (somewhat friends, close friends, very close friends, best friend) like that. But in the end you should be able to trust and/or depend on them. Right?

Hm, I guess there was a breaking point in my life which probably made me close my heart just like Amie said. But I still know the good feeling of the old days when I had friends who lived far away, we would only communicate through the internet but it was great and felt really comfortable. Today though, it just feels like there is hostility coming from everybody, it is crazy.

And on a side note: How are you so dang optimistic, one could literally feel your mood through the screen Amie. ^^ I am like the real opposite, trying to brighten my mood is about impossible most of the times.

I share your thoughts about Amie's optimism. I envy that about any person. Most of the time, I blind myself with the thought of their being wilfully ignorant, but is it so much so of me to think being such a way would make me a much happier person? Friends are indeed people you can rely on, but it's a double edge blade, so to speak. You have to be there for them, too. Yet it's nearly impossible to find one of such quality outside of relations you develop through the internet. Sometimes it's as simple as "if you trust me, I'll lay down my life for you". Mostly it's, "You have to prove yourself to me", and yet the opposing never asks for proof themselves. They just one someone to be there. As for me, all I have are 21 facebook friends. With which I can speak fluently, and am grateful to have, but, at the same time, I'm a drop out with no social skills to begin with. Some would call me very anti-social, in fact. A pinch of realism, and you'll have everyone pointing out your apathy. I have no real life friends, so to be frank, I could care less if I gain or lose another internet friend. I want someone I can hug when I'm happy or sad. Someone I can truly be there for d vice versa. On that note; what a friend is to me, is what keeps me alive every day.

In my opinion, what is the most important in friendship ... no... there is too much things important. But, one of the most important is to have and to make memories. Go with them somewhere ask for it. Having one week holidays with someone is amazing. And it make you know if you are truly "compatible" with this person. (friendship compatible of course) First you have to make you go out yourself, find some interesting places outside. Then invite your friends there. Can be a pizzeria/kebab, a walk, museum, a park. And try to know about what they like ant let them know about what you like.
It depends ... what kind of friends do you have ? What can you tell us about them ? There likes ?

And about my mood, I passed a long time thinking that we were nothing more than a complex organic computer. I've always thought scientifically, and coldly. That's why I know that other people in all the DNA possibilities can think like me, that on all living humans someone as the same kind of life as me. And for friends, I know that some are searching exactly the same things as me. And when I find someone with a "good" aura (that I see as interesting persons) I try to approach, know more about the person, asking him, asking others, guessing by observing.
And then I talk to them. Sometime I tell my friends that I feel uncomfortable with them. I try to find why and explain them. They usually took it well. And things got better after after some time.
Try your best finding the greater persons and get close to those that got some common points with you. And if you have nothing, you can always to make memories or get interest in there hobbies. Being curious help a lot.
What do you have in common with your friends ? Why/How did you "chose" them ?

I really hope that you'll find someone or some people with witch you'll feel comfortable. Remember, life is long, no smoking helps too, you got plenty time to find good persons. It depends of what kind of people you're searching for. But look at everyone and try to know if they suit your critters. Ho ! And ! Check thing both when they are in groups AND alone. Groups can totally change people.
Gambate~ ! ^^

I have mixed feelings about friends to be honest ^^''
Like don't get me wrong, i love my buds. They're ducking amazing and incredible and idk where i'd be without them to help me along~ Your family's one thing, but there's just something about friendship that makes you feel giddy about the simplest things^.^

But i get what you're saying Slarki~ there are moments when i have doubts or i just feel alone. It's not their fault and idk what it is. I'm still young so i don't know if i should say this, but i had a rough time in 5th grade or so~ LIke i had friends but no one i could really entrust everything too. Even now i don't, at least not completely. As to emotional connection, i'm not sure… I've gained a lot of friends over the past year, but i've also lost some. And it's mean to say but some of the friends i've lost--or probably am going to lose since we don't talk that much anymore… well i do get sad. But i get over it. And Yea that's worrisome. I'm at a point where I'm hesitant to trust.

Oh wow this is getting long ^^'' hehe~ well Slarki, long story short, i think you just haven't met the right people. I have one or two that i get along with so ducking well it's like chicken and soda! (very delicious btw). Just wait and see. Keep an eye out and don't be quick to judge by the first impression, cuz wouldn't that just eliminate so many good people out there that you could meet ^.^

First of all thanks for your answers! It is really awesome how this turned into such an enjoyable conversation and I really do appreciate it!

Yeah X, I sometimes think if acting differently would make me happier. I personally am quite strict about who I trust and who I have contact with. Mostly it seems to me that many people are just really stupid which is why I prefer to stay at a distance. Sometimes I wonder whether it would be better to be more tolerant about it, but then I always got the feeling that that would be acting differently than what my character is or what I believe my character to be anyway so I return to my normal way of acting.


So, to answer Amie's last message: I think I get what you mean, memories of diferent situations really can weld persons together and let you see their true colours. The problem in my situation is probably that I am not really actively trying to get others to spend time with, I am more the kind of person that wants to get invited/asked out. This may be the exact opposite of benefitial, but it feels more like myself, maybe it just is easier, not sure about that.
And yeah, I try to be on the lookout for greater persons, I think I know exactly what you mean with that. Well, same problem, I am not around much, so I do not really meet others all that often.


About Piccolo's post: The thing about friends that I get rather close to is that it seems to be like in phases. At first everything is exciting and they are really interested in me and my personality which is followed by a time of exchange of personal thoughts, emotions, memories etc. After that it seems like all the compliments and the attraction seem to quickly fade away and they finally leave me alone, either with a bang or just silently letting the connection die. But I cannot really force anybody to stay in contact. It really hurts to be let down by a person you entrusted your heart to.


Now this is a long post. Feel free to answer or post, I would like to keep this going. It makes me feel better, I think.

Everyone want to be invited. I mean that people that you like care about you and invite you. But you can't be sad that people don't get close to you or revive the fire if you don't even try yourself. Fight first and see if they fight back. Fighting for the shake of friendship, protect it and nurse it. This is what both sides need to do. If there is only one it wont work. But the mater is who start first ? If you feel hurt, don't wait the string to break, act. You're not the only one that want others to do the first step. But you can be the first around you that take that in consideration, assume that's the same for others, and be the one making the first move.
If others can't do what you would like them to do, do it by yourself. Because maybe they are like you. Waiting for something. But time passes, and time erase everything, feelings, memories, even friendship sadly.
You can't rely of your relation of friends you had (I don't know) 1 ~ 2 years ago. You have to make thus friendship a Present fact. People change with time, feelings too. Even if everyone say it don't. That's why you have to be friends with who they are today if you want to stay with them.
There is some days you have to be strong, and make people rely on you instead of the contrary.
Do your best. Give it all you got. If those friends mean something for you don't ignore your feelings. Because they are one of the kindest things you got.
Make yourself a sweeeeet and mellow life~ -w-

Friends are people that compliment your personality and support you, especially emotionally. There must be trust and effort from both parties. Friends can be in person and also online as well. A friend can be a pet, family member, lover, etc.

To me I think of friends in the same kind of way I think of "true love". I don't like comparing something like this to family because we have no choice over our family so there's it turns into "settling" or something like that instead of a real friendship. I hate the idea of your friends being able to be just anyone you meet. It just loses all meaning that way.
I'm kind of like you then I guess because I don't really have a strong emotional connection with anyone but I still have "friends". I don't really meet people irl so I'm not expecting something like that for quite some time.
To be a close friend with someone you need to be able to talk to each other about anything imo. I really like the idea of knowing someone so well that you are almost the same person. That's why I really liked Hikaru and Kaoru from OHSHC. That's the kind of friend I want. So, I'm obviously too picky I guess but I care way too much about this kind of thing for it to be just anyone.

That's pretty much what ai think on the subject. One thing I try and make clear ealry on is that I don't judge and don't get offended so I suppose that's what I hope for in a person. I guess they would need a similar perception to me and similar beliefs and way of life but that gets complicated. I just think of myself as too different to normal people so I have low expectations on finding a friend for now.

I hope you found it interesting. See ya ^^

>>10 Wow Amie, you make it sound like I am a hopeless case :D
It's not that bad and the last time somebody actually faded out of my life is years past. At the moment I have my 2 best friends + 1 special never-ending-undbreakable-friendship-friend. With the first two I will move together to study so that should make for a lively household. And I something happens, I think I would be able to decide what I want to do without much trouble. I think for my young age I have experienced quite some emotional stuff so I should be prepared to fight if I think it is needed.

>>12 I found your story interesting. My life is consoting of almost only sitting in my room, being alone all the time. (Which will change soon when I start moving and studying). The idea of knowing someone thoroughly is something I like as well. I had such friendships in the past and will probably continue to try and find them, I mean, what else am I gonna do really? :D

>>1 I've had bad experiences with my so-called "friends" in the past. I was emotionally and literally abandoned by them. The loneliness became so strong to the point where I'd accept bullying any day, but don't worry bully was rarely seen in my school. I thought of cutting myself or suicide, but those ideas quickly ceased because I was terrified of pain. My depression caused me to have malnutrition and I always had this feeling of nausea. I never told anyone about it because I didn't want to cause any trouble.

One day, I told myself the only way to save myself is by replacing my "friends" with something else. That's when I started writing many stories and characters that suit to my taste. They filled my heart with satisfaction and that was enough to keep me alive.


To answer your question, I don't believe in "friends" aside from family. I never liked people from the start. I think it's a waste of energy to interact with them, but I do it so they can quickly leave me alone. All my life, I consider everybody "acquaintances."

Sorry if I sound like an emo. XDDD But this is how I personally feel.

Friends are the people you're happy just being there with them, and feel the same way about you. o.O My old best friend and I used to meet up every single day after school, and just walk around, some days not even talking. Both of us would rather be doing that than hanging out with people who sort of annoyed us down the street. =)

I branch people I interact on a regular basis with into two archetypes: Buddies and Friends.

Buddies are people I share jokes with, talk about casual things, but never intimate conversations with. There's nothing wrong with wanting "no strings attached" even for just friendship.

Friends are then branched off into two types: people I am willing to spare time to and even go out of my ways to help them at times, and people I am protective of and will possibly put myself into a lot of trouble just to hoist them up. It's a blurred line between those two. It's like trying to differentiate pink with red - in the end, they came from the same root, only a different shade.

I have a handful of people who would call me up once every few weeks to check if I'm "still alive" (I've been a hikikomori for half a year now). When they found out that I was living off on expired food I found in my old "emergency supplies", one of them came over to my place, threw away all those food-gone-bad, and cooked me a hot meal. When I broke down and told 'em that I was struggling with a uni entrance exam, they gave me free tutoring. I think that is real friendship. I haven't contacted them for so long and they still care.

The problem with a lot of people I observed back then is that they all hope every acquaintanceship turns into something more, and when their attempt to forge a friendship fails, they are left devastated. It's like saying, "I really like that shirt, but oh no! I don't go well with that colour! I MUST change myself so I fit that shirt! Or maybe I should change the SHIRT so it fits me! I just really want it in my collection! I must have it!"