Ok dollars, here's a really personal one. I recently turned 16, and I'm a girl. I'm a mature highschool girl with, like a lot if people, a fucked up family life. My mother is crazy, mean, a slut, etc. My step father lives in another place until he and my mom get divorced. Anyway, here's my problem. My mother is very controlling sometimes. Other times, she let's me feel like an adult. She makes me feel mature and like I deserve her respect, and rarely, she DOES give it to me. Other times, she turns to a completely different book and becomes controlling, to a scary point, possessive, anxiously suffocating, and just weird! So, being a 16 year old girl, I have....*clears throat* needs! Everybody has needs! It's perfectly human! It's natural to feel the urge to pleasure ourselves. It's just, my mother, being so controlling, constantly calls me when she goes out of the house. I stay home and she tells me, "something could happen to you when you're at home and I'm not there! What if your phone is in the other room and something happens you!" She did this on Friday, and it was kinda scary how anxious she was getting. I have an anxiety disorder I take meds for, and so does my mom. By this was just ridiculous. She's never gotten this out of control. It could have something to do with the fact she's been drinking a lot more. Anyway, at the time she was calling me on Friday, I was at the computer and my phone was in my room. I was, you know, "watching videos." So I go back to my bedroom to get out my "toys" and I see she called me twice. I call her back and she's flipping out!! After this fight we had about me being 16 and her freaking out for no reason, I started looking up how to explain to my mother I need privacy to masturbate. Yes, I said the M word. I've been reason stories and tips and blogs on how to tell a parent you need privacy. The thing that makes this so important is the fact that she said she was going to drastically decrease the amount of alone time she gives me. I need to have time to myself. At least once every week or so! Highschool is stressful! How does she not understand what I do when she's not home! I mean, parents should expect that!

If you don't mind, if like to express some personal feelings as well. My mother has been emotionally abusive for a long time. Sometimes she still is. It's an ongoing problem. She had me when she was 17. I don't know who my father is and she won't tell me, that's why I have a step dad. All my life she told me, "SEX is bad! It's horrible and dangerous! Men will take terrible advantage of you and rape you and make you fuck without protection!" But never once has she told me "sex is a bond between lovers. It's natural, it's common, it's important in a relationship just like communication!" Also, she's never even SAID "masturbation" to me. I had to figure all this out on my own. I feel so betrayed now that I'm old enough to understand all this. I wish she had explained this to me. I wish my own mother, instead of sleeping with random men, had taken the time to tell me these urges are natural. Now, there's this terrible sad butter distance between us, and I have NOBODY to go to for sexual advice. I have nobody to ask about my growing body, or questions referring to things you don't ask your teachers or sometimes even friends.

So. Does anybody know how I can explain to my mom that I'm 16, and I need privacy? Has anybody ever gone through the same thing? Feel free to share your stories! My thread is your thread dollars!

Thx!

Well, for starters, you should try explaining to your mom that you need privacy. If she asks why, you don't need to explain your complete reasoning, but it's completely normal for teenage girls to want privacy. And, with the alcohol problem, well... the only thing I can really suggest is to call a counselor to discuss her drinking problem. With the over controlling thing, it's normal. It means she cares and wants you to be safe. Try explaining that you appreciate, but your old enough to not need her keeping track of you 24/7. Something that may be causing your mom to do these things (not for sure, just a hunch) is due to the divorce between her and your step father. Maybe she is just afraid that you will leave her soon. Well, I hoped this helps!

>>1 I believe that you should go for it and calmly ask for privacy and if she asks why then tell her the truth. There's nothing wrong with masturbation and it's completely natural, and it's better than actually going out and having sex with other people at your age. If she doesn't allow it, then you can try finding other ways, like in the shower for example.
I can't relate, the only even close to a sex talk that I got from my parents was a "I don't want you being a slut and having sex with everyone.", got nothing else, so I understand how you feel. You'll be of age to move out soon enough so just tough it out until then. Parents usually have such strong negative opinions about sex because of their own experiences, they don't want you to make the same decisions as them, I guess it's like a twisted way of protecting you. Anxiety is tough to deal with and I'm sure alcohol makes it even worse, just always have your phone on you or ask you to text you instead of calling.
I hope this helps, good luck~! :3