I recently got into a argument with someone who will not be named. They asked me to dump a bucket of water for them and I asked if they could at least say please. Then they responded by yelling at me and threatening to take away my laptop and stuff , just for asking for a please. Then they when on about being my elder and superior saying that they don't need to say please to me. In my opinion it was an innocent question and I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, I was just raised to believe that you don't ask for respect you show respect to get it. But in your opinion was my asking for a please disrespectful or was it a reasonable question.

I don't really know ... who were they for you ? Boss ? Customer ? Elder students ?
I think I wouldn't have asked for please. It depend of there aura, if they looks busy, stressed or thoughtless I would have done what they asked, and when I would have finished I would have say a sarcastic "You're welcome" to them. I it was someone that I have respect like an employer or a teacher I won't have said nothing. And it was some dumb guy I would have ignored there request.

That depends on who it is and how they asked it. If they told you to dump it out without asking and aren't your boss or teacher, then what you did is alright. But if they just asked you to do it without specifically saying please, you were the one being rude regardless of who they are. "Please" is not required for every request, especially not something as simple as throwing out a bucket, since most people will thank you afterwards anyway.

It's clearly a parental figure or someone close. Who else but parents threaten to ground their children for disrespect?

Anyway, yup. What you did was pretty rude. It really isn't necessary to say please. I only do if it's really important but it doesn't really change much. Normally, I will ask someone straight up if they can help me or do me a favor. If someone responded to me in that manner, even if they were a good friend of mine, I would be pretty irritated. It's actually pretty damn insulting.

It's pretty difficult for most people to ask someone to do something for them. Most people want to handle things themselves so the act of reaching out to another person for assistance can be some what unnerving. To be like, "Say please first" is rather arrogant.

Now, if they ordered you to do it, that is a different story. Unless you adhere to a strict chain of command, i.e. military, most people will still ask or hint at something. So if they ordered you, you have to step back and look at the situation. Make a sound judgment before you respond.

If someone is giving you instructions, they'll rarely ask you to do whatever it is they want you to do. That in itself isn't rude. For instance, if someone is telling me how to bake a cake, and they say, 'Put in the eggs', it isn't rude. It's just telling me what to do. Sometimes people start with a question, like, 'Can you get all the ingredients together,' but in general it's unnecessary to say please. It's nice to say it, but it isn't rude not to say it, in my opinion.

You also said you were raised not to ask for respect, yet that is exactly what you just did. Showing respect would be doing as they ask, regardless of their position above or below you.

>>5
Ah, Inu, always picking up on the shit I miss. So reliable~

>>1 I honestly don't see the point of saying please because it's just looks like a pointless ritual or habit to me that has no meaning. So I guess in my perspective asking him wasn't necessary. His reaction was wrong as well though but I feel that there are a some factors we are missing here. I can't really say much about the disrespecting elders part of this though because I'm don't agree with having to treat elders different to others but I have my reasons. However, asking someone to say please is the kind of thing an adult tells a kid so it can be pretty degrading for an elder to be told that.

That's a reasonable act it's just maybe because of the tone of your voice or it's just that their are some irrational being who take petty things as an offense.

better give them some silent treatment whenever you see them xD

It's totally normal to expect a simple please. This happens to me a lot, but in truth, this person may have had a bad day or something bad happened. Sometimes people take their anger out on others when they have done nothing wrong. This is just a way people respond. They could have just seen your asking for a 'please' was a question of their authority even though you didn't mean it that way. Different people react differently to the same situation.