I sometimes feel so alone and dont know what to do, but at the same time when im with someone i want to be alone, because people annoys me and i dont know why... But still i want to have friens and all... but to me its very hard to talk with people because i dont know what to say and sometimes when im talking with my few friends they look at me so strangly... i dunno maybe i just owerthinking

>>1 I understand that way of thinking, loneliness is missing human interaction, but it's not wrong to want to interact with other people, people are social creatures after all. It's also not wrong to want to be alone either, people can be hurtful and cruel and not having to deal with people is nice sometimes too. What you need to do is find a balance between being alone and socializing. Talk to others when you can but just don't focus on it too much, you'll make friends eventually, all you have to do is be yourself and be nice. I hope this helps ^^

Ah, I went through this a long time ago. Socializing is a really tedious thing but being alone is difficult for many. Fun stuff right? To be honest, there is no answer to it. Even if I devised a plan for you, it wouldn't mean much in the end.

>>2 I don't think Asuna desires solitude for that reason. That human beings are cruel and what not. I think it is more fundamental than that. A natural repulsion, a loner type attitude. Like standing around in a group of talkative people and just thinking how boring it is.

Balance is a great suggestion but I'll tell you this right now. After a long time of studying myself and others, I finally reached complete balance. It's not easy at all. It's actually much more difficult than picking a side. A true balance requires an indifferent attitude and the wisdom as well as strength to use it. The desire for company, for friends, can be overpowering and is almost always reflexive. In order to suppress it, you have to simply look at it as if you don't need people. You have to lose your interest in people entirely. In order to suppress the other side, the loner-ism, you have to reverse the thinking and believe in people as much as you can. You have to find human beings interesting. In order to balance them, you must embrace them both equally, allowing them to overlap as they desire. If you attempt to maintain a half ass balance and delude yourself, you will torture yourself more and more.

As for not knowing what to say when talking, that just means you are bad at conversation, social interaction. You can remedy that easily and the social you/loner you can only interfere in the process.

Perhaps your distaste with social formalities or people in general is just because you are having difficulty maintaining a conversation?

Lonely? Whatever about what happened to you, as long as you be yourself, no matter how hard your problems you can solve it, because peoples change, every people have different characters, ah you know yourself is your friend too. Don't think too hard about that, just enjoy this world as long as you can, do what do you want to do (゜∀゜)――!