Awkward Silence

I have conversation problems. In other words, I have a hard time to strike up a conversation.

This has become my personality since I was a kid. I was the timid girl in my family. I was shy and sensitive, hence this affected my school life where in I easily get bullied and teased because I can't fight back. I never tell my family that I was bullied and teased in my elementary days and I morally try to forget it by computer games. I have two languages, my native tongue and English, so bear with me if my grammar sucks.

Back to my problem, this problem also affected my highschool life. For instance, everytime my teacher would ask me to explain some lessons, I can't express it out. I know the answers inside my head but somehow I can't let it out of my mouth and I was too scared to make a mistake because I fear of being humiliated so everything just went into that awkward silent moment.

Now, I never had any friends. Really. Well, in my highschool some people would approach me and they would introduce theirselves at me, I would do the same and then boom, another awkward silent moment. After that, the person would leave me alone because of my shy behavior. It did hurt my feelings a little but I learn to grew up without being surrounded by friends.

Hence, I've been a loner.

Writing this down even took me days to write it down since I had to collect my thoughts until this thing came out.
And believe me, I was too scared to post this.

And I don't even know whether my words make sense or not.

I tried going to the Dollars chatrooms but I was too scared, scared that I might embarass myself and I didn't know what to say next.

Any advice? I wanted to develop this behavior especially in my career and I also wanted someone to hang out with even though I can't speak.

What you really need is someone who you know that you can talk to about anything that won't judge you or make fun of you or anything. If you're bad at talking to people then what you probably need is practice but first you need someone who you can talk to. Look around on the dollars. There are probably lots of people who you can become friends with.

I actually joined the dollars to meet people (hoping to make some really close friends) because my friends in real life I'm not really that close to. If you need a friend to talk to about stuff then I'm here. I'm looking for a friend too :D. You can talk to me about anything because I don't get offended and I don't judge.

I don't know how you prefer to contact people but for now you can email me at toforeversigh@gmail.com
I'm on the dollars website regularly though so I will be able to respond to posts as well. We could also set up a chatroom if we are both available at the same time.
Anyway, let me know if you're interested. There will be no hard feelings if you aren't. See ya XD

Good afternoon (here).
What you need is willpower. Nothing will change unless you take the first step.
You have to try talking more and it will slowly become normal for you.
If you would want to talk, then tell me some sort of contact. I am available anytime. Also foreversigh is a good talking bud as well °^° ~

2>> foreversigh. Thanks for the advice!! I appreciate it. Normally the people I try to socialize are my dad and my sister. They're a good start, but I would like to meet more people. I have no friends in the virtual world too, so I guess, this is the first step to get to know each other, right? Hehe, I'll try to leave a message at your email, hoping I could think of something to say. I'm always here everyday too, though I rarely post. Thank you so much! Nice meeting you. :)

3>> It's evening, here. Good evening.
Maybe you're right, thanks. I socialize with my dad and sister but it's not enough because I want to hear other people's thoughts, stories and opinions, and I wish could share mine too ... if I wasn't awkward. I guess practice is the first step. You could email me: dremzy13@gmail.com. I appreciate your advice and offer. Thank you so much, and I agree with you, foreversigh seems like a good friend, so are you too.

>>4 Thanks for the reply. I was just waiting for an email but I decided to check on you here first. I'm sorry if you were waiting for a reply here. I'll still be on for a while though.
Actually,I do know Roorando from the dollars and we have been in contact. That actually makes it easier I guess. We could probably start a chat room since it looks like we are all on at about the same time. It's night time here.

Also, I think I do the same thing as you (assuming that I've taken what you said the right way). It takes me a really long time to come up with what to write and reply with and I often just don't like it and end up not saying anything. Please contact me still because I still really want to hear from you :D

>>1 actually, my situation is exactly the same. I'm actually a loner (uhh yes :P) and I've been trying to make friends here on the Dollars website to at least make friends. I isolated myself from others and started getting haunted by my own words, but I found myself spending a lot of time here on the Dollars site. Chatting on the Chatzy room or Darasu made me feel un-alone, but I have problems making new friends in reality due to the fact that I had lost all my confidence, the same goes with emailing. I try to be very honest here on the Dollars so I can get along with others and even possibly meet them (which I possibly might meet my Dollars buds on Dollars day 2014 ! :D) so I have really high hopes of this website. I've also been getting better in communication skills through my job (which I work for a family business as a waitress), but I still didn't gain most of my confidence, still leaving me behind with awkwardness and reservation. I'ts okay if you take slow steps like I am doing, as long as you know where you're going.

I'm the same way. In school whenever we had parent/teacher meetings, they would always say that I needed to talk more in class and speak up, but I could never do it in case I got the question wrong and embarrassed myself.
That's kind of why I decided to join the Dollars, because I felt as though I didn't really click with friends and I couldn't open up to them, so I turned to the internet.
I made my main goal this year to learn how to talk to people. My overwhelming shyness has held me back so much. I can't talk to people on the phone, I'm scared of paying for something by myself, and I can't make friends unless they are the ones that make the first move.
Joining the Dollars has helped me a lot in achieving this goal. I've become comfortable in chatrooms and I actually held an hour long conversation with a girl I met on this website.
I guess the only advice I can give you is to push yourself little by little. Start small, like saying hello first or something like that, then work your way up.
If you want, you can talk to me ~
I have Kik and Skype, so just reply if you wanna chat c:

I'm pretty shy in real life too, and I've always found it difficult to say thing to people or start a conversation. It's really disruptive to normal life to not be able to ask someone a simple question. Now, I have a couple of close friends that I'm able to speak to, and I've come to realize something.
Even if you feel like people are going to think you're stupid if you say something, they usually won't. Of course, they'll always be a couple of douches, but people in general are more easygoing than you think, it's just that shy people tend to build up a sense of 'I need to say the right thing- if I don't say the right thing, people will hate me', and, that's not really true. Of course, this doesn't eliminate the fear at all, but it might help.
The internet is a really good place to try and build confidence- there isn't any obligation to constantly see the person if you feel like you've messed up your relationship with them, unlike somewhere like school, where you'll still be with them. On the internet you can talk to someone, and if you want to stop, you can just stop, and no one will think badly of you for doing it.

Do you think we could start some sort of email or chatroom, for people who want somewhere to share their opinions or just talk about anything? It would be mainly for people who don't have much confidence and want to have somewhere where they can talk to other people who understand having difficulty with words and speaking up?

We could make a skype group?
The group wouldn't talk about anything in particular, maybe we could just tell people how our day went, or things we're planning to do at the weekend?
If anyone wants to talk, I'm mesh.alt on Skype, so just tell me you're from the Dollars:3

|M|

@anon
Heh. Thanks.
Anyways, contacted you (-;

>>1 you shouldn't let other people make you feel bad about yourself, there are a lot of people that are shy and awkward and some even find it adorable. You need to build yourself up and erase bit by bit the fear you feel. Social skills take practice and I used to be like that, however talking online made me better at communicating with people, even in real life. If takes time and practice but don't give up and try to be brave, good luck!

Hey up.

The awkward silence you talk about is more about a lack of self confidence and not bothering others: Omg I love animes... But I might bores him/her, I like cats, but is he/ she a cat person, any subject can become a torture afterwards.

Pick some basic subjects: actuality, music, last movies ( then tend to start to talk about favourite kind of movies) so on and so on, even the weather could be a start.

You need to observe and listen what people talk about, and then try to push them a bit in your universe, so you'll share yours, and they'll share a bit of theirs with you.

As soon as you meet people with the same interests. You'll start to hang out, to be closer, and finally befriend an other human being :)

Just two things: it takes time and practice, be patient and observe


Ta ta

I'm generally a social guy so I guess I can't really understand your feelings/problems, but the main thing is not to be nervous. Relax put on a smile (don't force it, be natural) and then strike a conversation about something recent (exam result, latest viral videos, etc.) and then go from there.

Good Luck :)