Hey everyone, long time no chat. Same issue as usual, but it's different this time, which is why I'm back in this section again. See, normally I develop feelings for a girl who is single, but normally either waiting on someone else or just plain not interested in a guy like me. But this one, she's currently in a relationship. Has been for at least 2 years now, same guy. He's a friend of mine. I wouldn't say we're close, but we've talked a few times, and he has helped me with my acting, even offered to write me a letter of recommendation for when I finally go to College. The girl he's with, she's beautiful, and one of the nicest people I've ever met. She laughs at just about everything, no matter how stupid it sounds, and we think of each other like family. We were in Drama together, which ended just last week. It was hard for us to leave it behind, but it did bring us closer together. We've only been friends for a couple of months, but I still feel close to her, and she knew enough about me personally to put my name down for something on the Senior Survey that went around.

I typically keep my distance from girls who are already in relationships, sort of a respect thing, but with her, something just makes me want to try and be even closer, even if it ends up having a negative impact on my relationship with my friend. However, sometimes I think he isn't right for her. He's a really talented actor, I have to give him that, but all the fame he got went to his head, inflated his ego. He has this attitude about him that practically screams "I'm better than all of you." He also seems married to his career, putting it before everything else in his life. It even seems to come before his girlfriend. I'm afraid that if she stays with him, it'll eventually end badly. He's shooting for Hollywood as a film actor. I'm shooting to be a voice actor for Funimation in Dallas for a few years before moving to LA to be with the big league voice actors, including my teacher Crispin Freeman. I also want to be a fiction novelist.

In comparison, my dreams seem far more tame, and I wouldn't put them above family or loved ones. I'd even be willing to put those dreams on hold for a while to focus on those things.

When I think about the friends that I'll most likely lose touch with once I graduate in June, she is close to the front of my mind. I don't want to lose her, and yet, at the same time, I'm not sure if she's even the one. I wouldn't want to end up ruining what they have, only for it to go badly for me as well. But I also don't want to see her get hurt by him, which ends up happening more often than not with a guy like that. However, I also don't want to regret not knowing. I may never see her again after this year is over, and I'd rather know what could be, rather than wonder what could have been. It's all complicated by the fact that she is in a relationship that shows no signs of breaking down any time soon. Prom is coming up soon, and I have no one to ask to it. I'd love to go with her, but I don't know ho he'd feel about that.

So I need some advice from you guys. What should I do? Should I just leave it be and walk away? Should I chase after her irregardless of the potential consequences? I don't know what to do.

For once,leaving it like it is is not a good idea, because it will powerfully affect you. Implicitly it will affect all the others around you, including her and your friends. What I suggest is to take things slowly, speak some more with her and, from what I see from you've said, you don't seem to appreciate this friend of yours very much. I'm not saying you disrespect him etc, but you have your own opinion. If you seriously think that she might end up badly with him, then go for it and talk with her. I don' t know if what I've said will be of any help to you, but you should try. Take it slowly, though, and have patience and faith in yourself.

>>1 Exactly what >>2 said. Take it slow, don't make any sudden moves on her. From what you said here, you respect her, so let it be for now, but try and get closer to her as a friend. You never know though, he could lose interest in her. Probably to help us out, has your friend lost interest in this girl? Has he begun distancing himself from her? You have to factor these things too.

Just a warning though; you probably know this already, always keep what you want in your head. You want the girl, or do you want to stay friends with your friend?

I hardly see him, and the times that I have they've seemed just fine, and she seems to pine after his attention each time, the latest of which he seemed more interested in spending time with everyone, but her. I presumed it was because they had spent time together the previous day or something as someone suggested, but either way it seemed like she wanted him to pay more attention to her.

Something else I forgot to mention is that he seems to have quite the way with words. He's the kind of guy who could say anything and get you to believe every word he says. I seemed to be about the only person who wasn't clinging to his every word like it was a piece of forbidden fruit straight from the Garden of Eden.

And I value her far more than I value my friendship with him, no matter how short at time I've known here, and how little I know about her in comparison to what she knows about me.

Funny thing, I read my Horoscope this morning and it told me "That some surprises are in store today and it looks as if friendship could turn into a romance." Now, normally I don't put very much stock into these sorts of things, but this one seems like it's almost perfect timing.

>>1
>irregardless

Fucking pleb.

People like you make me sick.
Not because you're an idiot that can't into words, but because you're a faggot with no respect for your fellow man.
If she wanted you, she would go after you.

Plus, just trying to snatch your friend's girl because you think you'd be better for her is disgusting.

How can you assume that?
You can't even into proper words, fucking faggot.

My advice: find your own fucking girlfriend asshole.

>>5 You're either trolling, understand nothing, or you've been on the receiving end of something similar, in which case I feel for you. But hurling insults at me isn't helping you, and your grammar could use some work.

1. I doubt you actually read the entire thing, and if you did, you mustn't have read it very well. You're the one assuming things. I never once said that I think she likes me better, or that I'm better for her than he is. I even stated that it could go badly with me as well. I'm also not trying to snatch her from him. Am I trying to confirm if what I feel is genuine, and find out if she may feel similar? Yes. Do I think that she does? I don't think so, but there's always a chance. And if she ends up liking me better, it's not my fault if she leaves him for someone she feels is better. Everything is up to her. If she chooses to stay with him, I can't do anything about that.

2. I stated before that while we are friends, we spoken maybe 4 times since we've known each other. We're more acquaintances and I've lost quite a bit of respect for him as of late. So I feel no regret whatsoever and losing him as a friend is a small price to pay.

tl;dr Your advice is disregarded.

>>7 No.
I just think you're an asshole.

>>1 you can't judge a guy like that by his cover, seriously. He may seem like an arrogant prick but if she loves him then there's a reason. Trust me, I'm a girl like that. And yes you would be snatching because she's in love and in a committed relationship.
I don't think you're in love. Listen, if you truly loved her then you'd be focusing on her feelings and not your's. Again, personal experience, the guy I'm after is a player and yes I did try my best to wedge into his cold heart but only because he was obviously not in love with the girl. But what's different for me was that I would have backed off if he told me to, I was there as his friend, I confessed my feelings but told him that I wanted him to be happy with or without me and that being just a friend would be enough for me. You are focusing on your feelings and that's understandable but you can keep in touch with her after graduation, *cough* facebook. And you shouldn't be analyzing their relationship. That's just wrong. If she came to school with a black eye then that would be an exception.
Find your own girl, you can confess your feelings to her but don't force her into anything, keep her as a friend if that's what she wants. Focus on your career and you should be able to find that special someone that you know is the one.

And for the record, >>5 has every right to say what he did, you asked for opinions, you can't just disregard someone's like that.

Neko-tama, conforming to others not only doesn't fix your problem, but makes you easily sway-able… Shade, you have feelings for this girl and are afraid of being turned down. Try being a friend first, give the impression you care, and discreetly let on that you're available. Girls find a good looking guy, and even though this guy might be a jerk,loser or not good enough, she'll still run after him, in that case they are in love with the (idea) of what this guy could be, instead of what he really is. Usually it ends badly, and as the guy finds the runner up, she cries and wonders what happened. I don't agree to Neko-tama's way of solving this, which evidently didn't go well. If I offended Neko-tama, I didn't intend to, and apologize.

>>10 first off, I'm not offended, but I don't like being wrongly analyzed or all girls analyzed into one generality. I'm not conforming, I simply agreed to at least some of Chrome's opinion, I don't have a problem, and my response was based off of my own experience and no it didn't go badly for me, what I did made me a stronger and more rational person and went quite well for me actually, it was just painful at times but hey, that's love.
You can't generalize all jerks and hopeless girls, yes there are couples like that but that doesn't mean all of them are. Some girls date jerks just because while others see something deeper inside, past their actions and behaviour, it may seem like an idea but at times it isn't. Again, I'm not offended, nor did I mean to offend you.

My solution to this issue was just for a confession but not a forceful one. That way Shade would have no regrets on the issue.

I agree that OP should tell her how he feels.
However, I also feel that OP should start acting like a man and not cross any lines.
Telling her how you feel is one thing.
Acting on it is another.

Be a better person.
Super simple shit.