Hello everyone, im here to talk about something way over personal, but i realy need to find someone, somewhere who could give me some answers...

Well, in some way, im immortal, as we all are, but im different, i do remember my past lives perfectly, not just some flashbacks, i mean, every steps of the way...

Birth, living, death, after life and all over again since countless time and i feel so lonely, i watched humanity born, grow, evoluate and change as i was living aside, bored in the shadows but i still never have meet someone like me, what should i do ? I dont even consider my self a human anymore, i dont understand or feel normal feelings anymore, like love or greed, the only ties i still got whit humanity is this body of flesh, i wanted to change, but lives after lives its all the same, i only wish i could dissapear in the void...

Samael Sefer

Astral traveler sweet!!!!!!!!:)

Hmmm...To be honest I'm not sure whether to reply to this or not because I can never tell if people are just trolling. You don't look like you're trolling but it might just be wishful thinking with me because that would be awesome to talk to someone like that. I'll reply anyway though.

Firstly I want to ask how many past lives you remember (if you haven't lost count) and if it means that you understand a lot about things in history that are completely different to what we've been told (especially like what happened when Jesus was supposed to have lived). If you could give more details then that would be nice XD

Also, if you really have lived multiple lives and remember then do you know any answers to life's mysteries like the meaning of life and what happens after death (apart from your next life I suppose)? Have you learned anything interesting that's really important that we should know?

With what you said about feeling lonely and bored and how life is too repetitive and pointless maybe that's why we don't remember our past lives or live forever. Most of us don't live long enough to realize these things. I'm Agnostic and I feel like I might be able to understand you a little bit. I've always thought that the afterlife and why we are here are the most important things in our life so I never understood how everyone just ignored them. I've thought a lot about those things (which is why I became Agnostic) and I pretty much feel the same as you. I'm bored with life, find it pointless and repetitive, don't experience things like love or greed. The only thing I really care about is my writing. Thinking a lot about our existence and stuff has gotten me really into writing because it's a good thing for me to do with my new interesting ideas I've thought of but in a more imaginative and creative way. It's sort of my purpose in life (as much as I've got at least). That's all I've got really. I like watching anime as well but apart from those two things I don't really care about anything in this life. You're not the only one.

With you not changing I might be able to help with this (or at least unpack what's going on). As a former Christian I never understood how we had free will. It didn't make sense to me because the factors in life (like birthplace, race, parents, gender etc.) had control over what we would do or could and other people's influence or lack of influence altered who we would become and what we would do. That never sounded like free will to me but if you only look at influence then there's a simple solution, to be outside of influence. In other words what actions/thoughts/beliefs we have are not due to other people's input or influence over us. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be possible but to an immortal then maybe it is.

Anyway, I'm really interested in you and what you have to say so if you want to chat then feel free to email me at toforeversigh@gmail.com
Also, if you're just trolling me then please tell me straight away :D I won't mind

Why would i be trolling about something destroying my life since so long, also i can't realy tell how many lives i lived, way to much for sure, but realy, im old, very old...

About life misteries, i can anwsers some right now, lets talk about hell then..

Mostly everyone thinks to be in hell is just like be trown in a blazing fire, that isnt right, the holy church came whit that as thay was trouwing peoples and stuff in the fire at the time, no hell is way sinister and lonely, just like a self-imposed prison, you know, watching your family or dear one going old and die on you, but your already dead, transparent, powerless..
and then theres no one around you anymore, until the souls is broken up, soften up, your stuck there...

suicide lead directly into that "state" (not here, since its self imposed)

Heaven can be seem the same but positively, you can be whit the people you want but its usualy end up that way anyways, but its still your self-made paradise...

>>4 If you'd lived so long Im fairly certain you would have had the time to grasp, understand and master the use of our language;
"destroying my life since so long"
"misteries"
"came whit that as thay was truowing"
"until the souls is broken up"
"whit the people you want but its usualy end up that way anyways"

11 yr old time waster/10

fuck off /saged at the top/

I'm not really interested in what heaven or hell is like. I don't see why the specifics matter and believe that it probably won't be something that we can understand anyway.

So in your many lives have you still not found a purpose or meaning in life?

-_- I swear someone always ends up posting while I'm typing mine up.
>>5 I honestly doubt that he's legit either but I don't think that grammar would be why. If he's bored with life then things like grammar might just not be important enough for him to care about.

im sure someone would say that, j'ai vraiment pas de patience pour ce genre de chose, si te dijera que estoy 22 y yo no estoy obligado à escribir bien, Jetzt verstehen Sie?

just like i said, i dont care about grammar, even if i got time to loose...

>>6 and no thats the only thing i can't answers you, its always end up the same for me, plain and boring...

but for you the meaning of life maybe its to evoluate, anyways, i posted this tread to get help whit it, that someone even older than me give me some answer but then again, i hit a wall...

peoples always ask about this or this then give noting in return to help, always the same, maybe theres no one like me anywhere anyway, so stuck to be like this forever...

Like someone close to me said one time, stop asking and just respect the degree of human evolution, right, she was right, the second your stuck a bit above the normal human your a monster, a liar, none can understand you,your alone... Funny, so funny, even when your wearing normal clothes shoping in a supermarket, everyone is scared of you beside the children, wich they stare at you just because they fell the power in your soul, its always the same, all over again and again, i hate life, i hate the way they made humanity, why don't you remember too..

Anyways ive made a mistake again, ive talked and it was useless, i will go hide my self in the shadows, again...

>>1 listen I'm a strong believer in reincarnation and past lives and have remembered quite a bit from my past as well and to put it simply, it was horrific. Not sure if it's just me being delusional and having my over-active writer's imagination taking over my thoughts but whatever, real or not real, that's not the issue here.
What you need to realize is that you're living in this reality and it doesn't matter how you perceive that reality, you're just living like everybody else whether you think so or not. You shouldn't let your past lives run your life, they're there but they shouldn't interfere. You're overcomplicating things so take a deep breath, look in the mirror and live through the person you see there.

OK, I just have to respond to this. The fact that he wrote in 4 different languages helped me make up my mind cause I think that was fun and brilliant, although it may not seem like that to some people. Anyway, the idea is that I have some doubts about reincarnation, so that's why it feels really hard for me to believe you. I am a Christian and I believe in God whith all my heart and I must say that what >>3 said is not true. I know for certain that God gives us the free will to choose whether we want to believe in him or not and we are not punished for that. As long as we don't do harmful or disgraceful things in our lives, then why would we be punished? I believe in God and in my religion, but I have some different thought about it that the Church might not approve of. And I'm still alive, aren't I? Anyway, I'm deviating from the subject, I apologise.
Samael, if what you say is true, then i'm sorry to inform you that, like every other human on this planet, and as >>14 says, you have to live through this life as well. I have studied history many times until now in various forms and I agree with you that humanity has changed for the worse and sometimes it has been completely disgusting. This is my opinion. I am also a writer and I think about thousands of things daily, mainly because my present life circumstances are not so good and I have a hard time coping with it, but as long as I keep believing in myself, pray and manage that some things are just out of my hand, so I MUST accept them, my life, as it is, keeps going on.
You should do the same. Accept that humanity is as it is and go on with your present life, no matter how it is. Find friends, write everything that bothers you (make a journal), find the little things in life that makes it more sufferable and breathe. Even though times have been hard and maybe they still are, humanity will continue to exist (at least for some time). So deal with it the best you can.
Think wise.

Inari, how has humanity changed for the worse? Just a few hundreds of years ago there was extreme racism, prejudice, slavery, feudalism, witch burnings, religious intolerance, etc. Heck, not too long ago (on a cosmic scale) admitting you had different thoughts on Christianity than the church did could get you killed. So once again, how has humanity gotten worse?

Exactly through all the things you just mentioned. I live in Romania, Europe, and all around my country there is a war inn Ukraine, if you've ever heard of it, and Crimeea with Russia and so on. I'm living in fear that this stupid war of theirs can come over our borders as if there's not enough crime in my country already. People everywhere fight for religion, teritorries and other such things that, in my opinion, should not be fought over. Religion should not be imposed on someone, and everybody should be content with what places they have, if not, solicit help, not war. So, as you can see, humanity has never gone for the best. But these are just my personal thoughts.
And again, we're deviating from the original thread.

I don't mean to belittle the conflict with Russia going on over there, but it is in no way a war. No bullets have been fired, and there is a good chance that it will be resolved with no bullets fired. Some people died in Ukraine, but the whole "revolution" is essentially over. Also, I don't think arguing with someone over religion (the way we do things now) is anywhere near as bad as, I don't know, NINE CRUSADES! I agree that humanity never really been great, but the claim that it's gotten worse is, in my opinion, insane.

But I agree, back to the topic at hand, being immortal/reincarnated. I am agnostic and have absolutely no idea what happens after death, though I have ideas of what it might be. If the OP is telling the truth (it's possible) it certainly gives me alot to think about.

I don't know if it's insane or not, but you can't disagree with me that we're not going for the best, are we?
Anyway, as you've said, if what Samael said is true, then indeed it gives me too something to think about.

>>13 Sorry about doubting you. I hope you understand that it's just really different to the way we know life. That and I'm really paranoid I guess. I'll be honest though, I don't know if I can help much of if any of us can.
I doubt many people, if any, have actually found a real meaning or purpose in their life. What we probably can get though that will fill the gap is really close friends who understand us and know us really well. The kind of people who you can talk to about anything. My theory is that if we can't find meaning then the best we can do is at least get rid of the loneliness.

Sorry Inari if our views are different. I didn't mean to act like I know the truth. I'm Agnostic so I'm not certain about anything.

I agree with >>18 that the world isn't good but probably hasn't gotten significantly worse.

OK, my point is that, yes, history has been ugly, and, yes, we are not the same as we used to be. It's defininitely true that world today is NOT as bad as it used to be, I agree with >>18 and >>20 on this point. What I meant to say is that, although things are not as bad as they were, humanity is still not good enough (there still are rapes, murders, robberies, wars, famine etc. etc., we see them everyday at the tv), but it probably never will be "good enough". English is not my native language so I sometimes have difficulties explaining myself in it, so I apologise in advance.
Anyway, I hope I you got my point. It's not like it's WW3 at the moment...

Funny how a troll question ends up about how our works is going...

I would say to look up about Buddhism, cos you sound like the reacarnation of Buddha to me, or look up about different realities, are you not seeing the lives of others? Then how could you be bored? It's the most interesting part of "stalking" someone else live :p

To me, you're just someone who's bored and like to give a lil troll to people: if you lived so long, you'd have the time to figure out how to not be bored, nor ads wiht your statement.

Ta-ta

Also the world have not gotten worse, where just at the end of the cycle, humanity (society) will fall and rise again better only to become worse, this happen before and it will happen again, also to be clear, i dont care about god and all the shit arount it, gods and I are strangers, all i want is to live a normal life, something i cant do on my own, also someone said earlier just look at the mirror and live as the person you are, do you know what i see in that mirror ? The young body of a man destroyed by his own demonic soul, something that cristians yould say for sure seeing me..

You're a strange character... But interesting to read lol

>>25 Look at my name and think again...

>>24 reality check, you're alive, that body you wear is human. Many people's souls torture them, including mine. Do you see me complaining about the pain inside me, remembering each and every death I've suffered and how the fuck I'll be killed this time? No. I get out of bed and I live this life. The world is cruel and twisted but it's also filled with beauty and shouldn't be so hated. People may suck, society is basically a venom; that's all true but should we worry about it? No. Wake up and go live the life you're blessed with this time. If you need something to do then write a story about all that you've seen, that's what I do.

>>27 im a trucker whit a fuck load of money and i love this job, ive got an house beside a lake, im fishing daily on ice or on a boat, im a gamer whit so much skill its scare me, i read manga and watch anime (obviously lol), its all stuff i like to do but in the end its all mundane, i still hate humanity and even worse, the fact that i can't be myself nor die the way i want, you know i know im alive, i got a body, and what ?

Everyday is an hiding game, seeking anwsers to my unsolved problems.

And the meaning behind dying the way i want is not about the way i want to be terminated, i dont give a fuck about that, ill even accept torture, i dont care realy, the truth is about how long, if i cant live like you, normaly, they why live ? just trash me in the void, i will be so happy...

>>30 seriously, be thankful for what you have, others aren't so lucky. A life is about solving problems, go out and solve them instead of complaining.

I must agree with >>31 on this one.

Typical anwser from people in a materialist world, wealth isnt giving me happiness, but anyways who cares, right ? anyways like i said, i made a mistake, trying to talk about it again, im alone in a world appart from yours and no one can help me beside myself, so thanks anyways.

We we not reffering to the materialistic life. Or at least I wasn't. I'm talking about feelings, images, great things that make you smile and help you go through the day. Because things like these do exist and without them life would be insufferable. Lift your head up a bit and you'll find them too, trust me. Everyone does so, even though it may seem impossible. It'not. That's what humanity, in my opinion, doesn't understand these days, which is very sad.

Too bad, I was curious to see what else an angel would say more about this world lol

You're clearly not interested about others opinions and you go through weird talks: you'd accept torture? You admit suicide would be a solution?

That's a bit extreme in my opinion.

Anyhoo,you seem to have a lots of things to be happy with and you seem to be a very ungrateful person for what you have, or just sad, but I'd bet on the first one

Well, this is what I wanted to find on this site. Thank you. I'm in that shitty mood, don't want to do anything rash. Didn't read the comments but thanks samuel, whether your crazy or not, it doesnt make a difference cuz its the same as being different to some people. I have to be normal or watever, doesnt matter cuz im alone in the the way no one can feel my pain or at least no one i know. And with that i might as well be crazy. Just how i feel and now im going to get a mocha and try to chill. By the way i chose everyman as a name just to be a name im not trying to impersonate everyman like that dam book.

Sup, got a mocha, read the coments. Wow. I like this. its like a place depressed people go to to find somthing in common. Anyway, i'd like to think iv lived different lives through video games. Sometimes I wish I were in bioshock, it just makes sense. A crazed society trying to kill you and your one of the few who isnt insane and you can hold on to morals and save the day, even though in the end your kinda ****ed up. It makes more sense than our society where you started off as a good kid watching disney and now you learn that the world is a terrible opposite from disney. Im glad i get to vent cuz my dad took my xbox and i kinda jus dropped out. I need to stay sane, anyway im down with being alone but having a concisous is wat killed me and it beats at my head constantly. K, i might do this more however this is not my labtop. it must be in secret. If there is a happy side to life, it faded away really fast for me. But this felt good, haha feel good. right stu pot?

Actually, >>30 there might be more to that than it seems.>>1 is asking for advice.

However, >>1 as i read through your conversations , you seem to hate humanity(alot) , you still feel hatred , still feel anger and frustration, you are still a human.

About the reincarnation thing , everyone has the right of judging its reliability, the actual fact is unknown.

>>37 yep many people do reply to threads they can relate with and that's what makes it interesting. Everyone tends to do that, everyone has a "need" for social life. If someone was to be complaining about life others would either sneer at them or talk about their own life story and start thinking how much their life sucks.

It annoys me quite much how the society has changed. But i do agree that society would rise and fall till The End. Due to media and other sources the trivia that occurs in the world is always avoided. Be optimistic and find focus in life

Your memory of past lives is only in this life of yours.
You keep saying shit, but is it so hard to see something so obivous with that many years of expirience? Basicaly the only difference is that you have much more material to think about. You bitch about being a monster but you arent harming anyone?
Just look at it from a different angle.

Your memory of past lives is only in this life of yours.
You keep saying shit, but is it so hard to see something so obivous with that many years of expirience? Basicaly the only difference is that you have much more material to think about. You bitch about being a monster but you arent harming anyone?
Just look at it from a different angle.

Ok lets talk about this the "fantastic occult way" lets suppose as >>35 mentioned, im an angel (watcher i must say, i hate the false facts about angels...) im watching humanity grow and evoluate for so long, whiout being able to live in it, so normal since im an angel, right ? Anyways just imagine you saw the first civilizations fall, lets call it atlanteans an the mu nation, after that horrific war for a single damned artifact that i wont say the name here, humanity fall to an almost prehistorical phase and rise up again as the form of Incas, Egypt and the chinesse, then they divise, war themself over and over again, some example the Roman empire, or in modern time the Nazis, and now, you know, ive saw an unbelivable amount of shit like war, famine, death, despair and the worst of all i remember it all, some dying childrens in a bloodbath, dismembred bodies all over the battlefields, hungry families starving togeter...

Just imagine seeing this trough the eyes of an Angel, >>38 YES i do hate humanity, not the human kind itself, just the humanity... Ive looked at you all this time watching, helping, caring, just like you was all my childrens, all that for noting but war, rasism, famine, despair in the end, im sad, im frustrated, maybe i have fall to, maybe that why you call me a demon of hate, i dont care, i cant watch this anymore, i just want to dissapear...

After seeing >>43 you must think, then why he asked help >>1 , why ? i want to evade this, the memories, myself, right..

I cant stand my memories, my past or even my self anymore, is that posible ?, i realy doubt so but why not try, so ive try evading this for centuries, its keep going on all the same but i must change my self, thats why i came here and ask for help, now maybe you think im trolling or facking this shit up, think what you want, i dont care, but maybe somewhere, someone might help me out...

>>44 to overcome delusional thoughts there are two ways. The first way is to give in to reality and rationality in order to fool yourself into thinking that you're just lying to yourself and that everything you've remembered is just a delusion.
The second way is if the first was ineffective, go to a therapist and get medication to help the mind "forget" what you yourself don't have the power to do.

Nice one Everyman ;)

Well to me samael you're just a kid who's bored and just watch sad stories and maybe too much the news: the world is not worse than before, but we are more aware of it via Internet, TV, etc etc

And no I don't belive you're a fallen angel, but just a nice troll, and finally if you don't find happinness even with your job, that you say you love, plus the money, plus going fishing in the lake next your house, well two things:

Go humanitarian and do some help instead of just watching

Or take enough medicaments to not face the fact that the world is a horrible place to live in.... But not for everyone, and If you could help, then you should

>>43 I think hate isn't the right word for this. I think that humans are stupid. I would never judge anyone for anything or hate anyone. The way I see it is that it's completely different from everyone's point of views and positions. If they do something then I think that it's highly likely that I would do the same if I were in their position. People don't understand other peoples pain and situations (which I'm guessing you clearly know now). My favourite quote is this "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". Even if we don't understand someones position this is enough for me :)

I remember when I was a bit younger I pretty much wanted to be in your position. I wanted to live life as an observer. It's probably a bit different though because I wanted to be able to live on my own and not have to rely on others. I want to separate myself from people so that I don't affect them in any way. I wanted to in no way change the world but just observe it. I figured that I might eventually be able to face the world and become more of a part of it but was far from being ready for it. I don't know how relevant that was but I you said that you were watching humanity so it reminded me of this.

From what you've said you look like you are trapped in an eternity of pain and suffering, not necessarily physical. It seems inescapable, even by death. If that's the case then what you need is something that probably only you can find. You need to find something that's more than this world. A connection or bond to our next or real existence. You've lived in this world long enough for nothing in the physical world to be enough for you so you need something more. Like I said before a special bond with someone might work but it's something that only you will be able to find. You will know what it is when the time comes.

Why is there a roleplay thread in /personal/ ?

>>48 this isn't a roleplay thread.

Your delusional and people shouldn't act like you're not, just to be nice… It's getting ridiculous, sorry dude..

i was planning on reading this whole thread but realized how long it was so i didn't bother..
you, my friend is what i call an old soul, someone whose spirit had been worn out by time.

there things you want to forget but can't, forever searching for something you don't know. a familiar emptiness that you know that the life you live now will just be the memory of the other. knowing what it feels like when the world changes around you but you still feel the same. nations rise and fall. you feel the pain of death but only to feel like it is a short sleep and you will be waking up in a new life. it's like a curse, a never ending cycle. there are events that etches themselves into the 'souls' (or whatever you like to believe) of a person which often times are bad ones. like being murdered, seeing so much death. the aftermath of wars can really turn your stomach around, aren't they? it's a really sight that can surely haunt anyone.

Memories of the past clouds your mind and blocks your sight. you've seen the rise and fall of a nation, the pain and healing, life and death. you forgot something, try looking back through your memories and reflect on them or try to find out what you forgot only then could you understand what your heart is yearning for. (i'm starting to sound like some shit oracle here :D)

some people may disagree but in my perspective, everyone has a purpose that is influenced by the choices of others around you but determined by the choice that you make.

you watch the society around you and see it's cancer that is left uncured which you know in time would break out into something ugly again. you distance yourself and feel the boundary between you and this society. but you do not realize that this self destruction does not signify death but simply a disintegration of an old system for a new reconfiguration to a more complex form lead by radical ideas. Radical people are not made by the change but rather, it is required by it. the society which you mock or have lost faith in, had never ceased to find ways to develop themselves, regardless of the positivity or the negativity of the outcome.

the question is, what about your choices? when did you started to become stagnant? you are still human. you are still capable of emotions and you are alive however you are stagnant. you lost your sense of direction, got lost and just stopped in the middle of the journey
I'm not preaching about religion(i know very well the horror it can bring and how horrible it can be twisted. truly terrifying). things like direction in life must be chosen by the ones who walk on it. anyway, i just talked about the ideas/ideals that ran through my mind. i think i just practically gave a really long rant here :D

>>47 Thanks for the reply also as >>51 (who also made a great reply) said, its true that ive became stagnant, lost direction and nothing satisfies me anymore, maybe i should continu to watch, gather knowledge, its damn painfull and soulbreaking but i must be close, realy close from an answer to my question, or maybe a redirection of my self, i dont know but sure thing, being stagnant will never help, like i always said to me, better be watching humanity than be a rock beside it...

When i think of it, im so damn weak, lol