This is gonna be kinda exaggerated, as any story of the type would be. But here goes.

After spending a good 4 years in a weird, deluded, mildly anti-social emo phase bought on by persistently attempting to associate with one who I've since come to never want to see again ever, I've been slowly trying to integrate myself back into the society of my (now) Year 12 high school year group. I've improved greatly since the aforementioned twatface inexplicably left last year, to the point that I now able to awkwardly speak with many of my peers without being near overwhelmed by a strange urge to verbally vomit over whoever it is that I'm talking to.

Problem is, everyone's learned by now that any attempts to converse with me is likely a bad idea. So, imagine the reactions of some... well, most, actually, when I attempt to befriend them!

Basically I'm somewhat of a social pariah - perhaps the most self-destructive kind as I seem to have lost much of my sense of my own identity and therefore aim to please those who have reason to reject me. They don't dislike me, they just don't know what to make of me - is my assumption, in any case.

I guess you can't really ram the kind of loose camaraderie that 5 years of being stuffed in the same place with the same people will give you. But I'm sick of hanging out with the same person each lunch time with the same fat bastard who has little to say other than about the new game he's been playing or how hammered he plans to get on his 18th. There's this group thing that I wanna be part of but can't, and I hate it. Fuck, I've never been invited to a party, I haven't gone out with friends since I was 13, and I can't even talk to a girl for more than 2 minutes without feeling self-conscious. I feel like I've sleepwalked through high-school.

Does anyone see my problem? No? Well.

Any advice here, any at all, would be nice, thanks.

Best thing to do? Start being friendly to people.
By year 12 the whole idea of social clichés has kind of disintegrated in most areas and peers are a lot more open to individual friendships.

If you see somebody you think you can relate to or get on with, just start being friendly.

There is no five step procedure to making friends once you get past the age of fifteen. All you can do is wait for them to recognise you in return.

>>1 focus on finding one good friend. Joining social clicks and going out to parties might not be as fun as it seems for some people, like myself. There isn't really anything wrong with being antisocial, people tend to suck. The only problem arises when you can't talk to people literally when you have to. Social skills take practice and practice takes time, keep that in mind. Just like >>2 says, just be nice to people, it's a great first step. I hope this helps~! ^.^

>>2 So what you're saying is... there's really nothing more that I can do. Makes sense, I guess, but I still can't quite shake the feeling that I'm doing something wrong here. I guess I'm tired of waiting for people to catch on.

>>3 Joining a social clique ain't really what I'm after here, actually, and the party thing was just an example of one thing I want to, but probably won't at this point, experience before high school ends. I'm not "anti-social," or asocial, which I'm sure is what you meant; I don't want to be alone. Which I'm not, really, but a lot of the people I'm around seem to dismiss most of what I say.

I get the feeling that having a social life get's a lot harder after school ends, so I want to at least try to establish one now. Fast.

>>4
You don't need tons of friends or to have lots of people like you to have a social life. It's the quality of the relationships you make that is going to make a difference after you get out of school. I was kind of in the same boat and still am some what today. I not a really talkative person and normally don't start conversations. But I never turned down conversation even though talking to new people or people I didn't normally talk to use to make me nervous and uneasy. But out of all of the people I graduated with, associated with in school or every day life now. I only talk to about a hand full of them. Sorry if it seems like I'm making this about myself I'm only trying to relate to your current issue. Social status should matter to you, because the people you can truly call friends are the ones that will make up your social life after school.

"Kids these days think its a contest to have the most friends. one is enough. Find someone whos really unique." -Yato from Noragami

Hey up,

I've been a kinda gothic, rock dude for all my time in school and I always scared people, especially girls lol, abou the fact I was maybe satanic and dangerous for others.
After a while, being sick of not being able to make other friends than just extreme people, I started to watch popular people and try to understand how they can be popular. I just understood they are softer people, very cheerful, and shows a bit more personality than ohters, and jts why others like them.

I'm not saying you should stop being yourself, but maybe you need to become a bit like others: if you look open ( clothing, smile, more eclectic taste in music,...) you'll discover new worlds and new perspective. And peole le will see you're not such an asocial person ;)

About girls, I don't have any advice, if not just being yourself with them, as you are with boys. Soon you'll realise there is not so much to worry about, and no reason to be so self conscious.
I hope it'll help a bit.

Last thing: don't expect it to change in three days, it takes time

>>5 Alrighty. Most of my relationships are casual at best. I rarely see any of mu friends outside of school, and a lot of them seem to think it's strange when I ask them to come do something with me. Might just be the people I hang out with, but often, I hear them talk about their own friends outside school, and the awesome shit they do, and how much fun they have, and I dunno. I've accepted that a lot of what people say is exaggerated and over-stated to the point where it's often 50% BS, but it makes me wonder. These same people never seem to want to do stuff with me outside school. They get weirded out whenever I ask.

>>6 Had a unique friend. Loner. Was around him for 3 years without him ever agreeing to expand our friendship beyond school acquaintances - who hung out with each other to the exclusion of most other's. He left inexplicably last year and I had no way to contact him after. Was left alone and angry. Fun.

>>7 It's been a year, and it annoys me that people are still kinda put off. It is possible that I'm trying too hard. I don''t think it's my appearance or likes. My tastes are eclectic; in music I range from Bach to Led Zeppelin to A Tribe Called Quest to Darkthrone to Pharrell Williams. Clothing ain't it - uniform,. It's probably nothing, really.

Look, I posted this when I was feeling kinda down. I'm not anymore, and my life honestly ain't that bad. I've thought on some of what I've read here, and I've cone to the conclusion that it really just does need a little more time, and I can only hope that I can squeeze all I want to get out of high school out of this last year. If anyone has anything they think can really help me, then by all means tell me. But otherwise, let's just let this thread die.

Thank you.