First of all, I apologize if I posted this in the wrong place ^^"

Ok, I've been in a dilemma for the length of the whole last year and it still often haunts today. I was stuck in a strange 'love triangle' and I know I might sound stupid or just plain idiotic but it hurt. A lot.

IT all began with my stupid feelings. I was always one who 'longed for love' or wondered what it was like 'to be in a relationship' and it was all fueled by the curse I now call 'Fairytales.' I fell for one guy in primary and then a few in High School but the real drama starts out of school.
I'm a scout. Simply put, the place is filled with guys and I loved hanging out with a lot of them. Suddenly, without warning, I fell for this quiet guy 'cause... I don't know! I got over it soon after 'cause at that time I was beginning to realize how stupid I was. Then I fell for another. This guy, however, was similar to the quiet guy but was more talkative and fun to hang out with. ...This was when it began.

Camp happened. Truth or Dare happened. It was soon revealed they both had a crush on me at one point as well. At first I was disappointing, realizing I had missed a chance but it also got me thinking... 'What if they still did?'
Back then, I still had a crush on the talkative guy and was just introduced to the wonder we know as 'Skype.' Funny enough, when they revealed that they both liked me, I got over him. Funnier still, I began to use online chats more often. And who did I talk to? The quiet guy. It was fun while it lasted. I mean, he was a whole different person on the computer screen! And, being the stupid one I am, fell for him.
I told him. I just wanted to know how he got over me so I told him. He lied. He still had a crush on me and for the longest time, we spoke nothing of it... we just knew. Then, he asked me out... Online.
It was then I began to think. I realized I had fallen for the him 'online' and not the one in reality. Also, I enjoyed hanging around the talkative guy more. I ended up creating an imaginary triangle between me and the two guys. I caused me much stress and seemed to ave affected my studies.
In the end, I told him that I couldn't cope with the pressure and that I wouldn't even dream of relationships until I left high school. I never felt so free ever since.
However, it's a little awkward around him and questions of 'Did I make the right choice?' still haunt me...

Did I make the right choice?

>>1 "Right" is a standard that belongs to the individual therefore, I can't tell you what's "right" it depends on what you want out of life. But if you want to be logical about life, you could even call it "smart", then you definitely made the right choice. Your studies are what should really matter at your age, you could worry about boys later on when you're more settled. Buuuuuut you want to make sure that you don't miss possible opportunities regrading love.
The question really is "which guy to pick?" Through my own experiences, I know what falling in love with an online persona feels like. I've never met him and I've been told that he's different in real life, sometimes that worries me but I also realize that the persona that I choose to present online is different than the real me, but it's the me that I want others to see.
He may be shy and quiet but hey, it's easier to talk online right? Who do you see yourself in real life with and have a stronger connection with? Who makes you happier? Who do you see having a long future with? I don't mean to rush you, this takes a lot of thought, but the longer you wait, the more you'll hurt both guys as well as yourself. Take a good long look about both guys and decide. The way you described the second more talkative guy makes me want to say for you to pick him X3 you can still stay friends with whoever you don't choose as a romantic partner. And talking about it helps as well.
I hope that that helps, keep us posted if you want :3

>>2
Thanks for replying! I'll definitely keep those thoughts in mind! ^^
And as for giving you updates, I doubt anything will happen soon so don't keep your hopes up~

You know, I have always had a problem with love as well. However, I'm the shy, intravert so I never really get to the point where I find out if they actually like me. A few times I've had a kind of connection where I think we both liked each other at the time and kind of almost felt like boyfriend and girlfriend but we never talked or anything (so I could have been completely wrong) but they always end with nothing happening and I guess the other person moving on. I'm a pretty awkward guy too in that aspect. I have had the problem of liking more than one person a lot as well. For around the last two years I always changed who I liked between around 5 girls and always felt like I was torn between a few of them. The thing that I never understood was why I felt like I liked so many people. And why I always felt like I liked someone all the time.
I think that we all are secretly, involuntarily desperate for love and that is why we look for the best we've got at the time. I think that we aren't aware how much we need to like someone and feel a bond with for them to be the perfect person. I think that for them to be the right person it might have to be as obvious as day so when in a 'love triangle' it might just mean that neither of them are right for you.
For me, I feel that it got a whole lot easier for two reasons. One I finished school so I don't see many girls at the moment and haven't seen the girls that I 'liked' since. The other reason is because I became and Atheist which is a big thing when in a really Christian environment. It meant that it was a lot easier to decide that I don't like them because they have really different beliefs to me. But even now I don't know if one of them was the right person for me.
In my opinion I think that it's best to be really picky and make sure that they are 'perfect' for you. There is a difference between better in comparison and perfect overall. For all you know everyone around you is a terrible match for you but then there is that one or two average or good matches with you that look perfect but aren't. I don't know if that's how it works but that's how I see it. I'm also assuming that their is a perfect person for everyone and only one.
By the way, I think that some other threads in the personal section might help more. Sorry for talking about me a lot but I hope that you've found some similarities in my story that we can relate on or that clarified things for you. I hope I helped.

>>4
o_O Thank you soooo much!!
Your simple paragraph(s) made me feel a whole lot better and I think I'm going to go about my life in a whole new different light now ^^
You definitely helped me out. Thanks again~

So... I'm already 22 years old and I already have some experience in relationships. The advices i usually gave to people here are more logical than emotional, so, don't get me as the mean guy. XD

In my opinion, If you're feeling free as you are now, without any of those two guys, I think you sould keep like that. I mean, a year ago my ex-gf broke up with me from a 1 year and a half relationship, after the time i needed to recover myself, I just feel very well being single. That's not a problem, if you can live with that. So, in the word you said if you're "so free ever since", and you'rel liking this sensation, then keep it up like that!

But, once you're asking us about all this, maybe you should not be so free as you think you are. If so, this whole thing about "being free" is just a run away you found for not thinking in this whole problem you're in the center. If that is the case, then I think my advice should be: you're not really in love for any of those two guys. You have a crush on both, that is understandble; but once you're looking for a relationship I think you should still know them better for you to choose just the right one of them.

I can't tell you that you should pick one or another, that's up you. Just feel right about your decision, if there is still a great doubt about "did i make the right choice" when you decide about one of them, I think you still didn't decided about your feelings anyway.

Lemme just say about the quiet guy one thing: I'm right now in a relationship with a girl it's been about 3 to 4 months. She is very very very very SHY. She never had any kind of relationship before me, so she can't handle their emotions and she don't know exactly how to react to my actions. Even if we're together for 4 months, I didn't even kissed her yet, only in the cheeks. But I've been already introduced to her friends and parents as her boyfriend. I'm being patient, a lot patient, because I love this girl at the point to wait her real emotions show up properly. So, if this quiet guy is really in love with you, just know that he has a lot of things he wants to tell you, to share with you, but you're the only one who can help him to let these things out.


I hope this could help you somehow.

I'm more down-to-Earth than being emotional. And honestly I liked that you just got out of the situation.

I had something like that too, but I was in the place of the guys. So read my situation and understand how they feel:
I was the second option. And I didn't knew. I really didn't.
And when I first heard about it from a friend, I waited until my bf told me he is insecure of his feelings. The same day I broke up with him and I said: I'm not a f* second choice so let me out of this.

Also he was my only boyfriend till now. And I'm almost 20.

Since then I'm all by my self. And I enjoy it. I tend to be aromantic and that sort of stops me from falling in love.

>>6 I'm so happy that out there is a guy who waits for his girlfriend. You sir, are awesome and keep on with that. And you'll need a lot of patience. But because you love her it can be easy.

As for me, well I'm popular in my university and I had guys asking me out. But I don't feel the way they do and I'm not getting in a relationship just because they love me.

It is not hard to be by yourself. I lived so far and I don't plan to get in a relationship too soon. Because is bothersome.

So live free as much as you can. And don't search for love. It will come when its time comes.

Also I just thought of something else: if you love 2 guys at a time, that means you don't actually love the first one. Because of you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fall in love with the funny one.

Too much information? Well, if you want to be free, then be so.
Just follow the most rational thing and also the one that makes you happy :)

>>6
I sometimes did think I just 'ran away' and your words just cleared up my thoughts. I thank you.
You reminded me on how the quiet guy sometimes acted. I think I should try to listen to him more often. ^^
I'm definitely looking up to you as my senior. :D

>>7
Thank you sooo much! I'm definitely going to keep that in mind and live my current life to it's fullest. ^^

>>8 You're welcome. If you really think that, in the end, you were running away, that's the time to face the situation properly. I'm not saying for you to take any decision or start acting completely different from before. I'm just saying for you to do not let these questions aside. Try to come to a sense by yourself.

And, well, once you have a talkative guy and a quiet guy... Try see how they are beyond the first impressions. usually a person is a lot different in the first one hour talking to him to the next 2 to 4 hours talking. Maybe that's the time for you to also know better the quiet guy, and see if he can change his offline way of acting to his online way of talking, but live. haha

You can talk to me anytime you want. If you'd like, i can give personal informations for contact, such as WhatsApp or Facebook. I really don't mind hiding it. Since I fear nothing from this site at all.


>>7 Thank you. I need to be really patient. In the last two months she has been out of town (she went to her birthtown, once she studies on college at my city and we were at college vacation). She's back its been just one week, unpectedly, She came back less shier to me. But I'm still following her steps and waiting each one of them. As you said, I love her, so, it is easy, because being at her side is more than enough. :)

>>10
Got it! I'll try my best to see the bigger picture.
I also won't ask for your personal info 'cause I really don't want to pry. ^^

Hello! First of all, I'm just wondering are you still in High School? if you are, I think you are still in an early age and you should think things thoroughly. You should study first or it might haunt you in the end.

OKAY, so we go to your problem. You've created this Love Triangle as you said, but we can't say that you are right of doing that(or even wrong) because we don't know much about your feelings and how will it turn out after a few weeks, months or years that you might even like the quiet guy in person when time passes by(I'm not siding for him on this case.) It might sound rude but at least choose one so it would not cause any conflict.

For this young age, I think it's just puppy love and also I think you have dreams of your own right? I'm not sure if you want to be stuck for long in this situation, just be careful if you are going to choose one(or none) because as it turns out there will always be someone who will get hurt. Choosing isn't easy but still it's your decision to select(or leave) to that situation because you did have the time to start this triangle.

Sorry for the Frank and Rude words inside this opinion.
Good Luck is the last thing I can say to you.

>>12
Yep, I'm still in High School. I also personally believe its 'puppy love' and so I think I'll be sticking to my after school policy :3
Yaay for school~

Thanks for your words!

Okay! Just let us know if enything new happen. And, please, MAKE the new things happen! XD Like I say to friends of mine who ask for my advices: You can have all the tips, advices and opinions of the world. The problem will only be solved after you dealing with it. :D

>>14
Well, I'll try my best! Thanks for your words and I'll get back to you if anyting happens ^^