ok so this is really me just accidentally dredging up old emotions.
Is it normal to see everyone else around you as shallow and me litterally incapable of being friends with others? My emotions... no, my personality kinda... keeps people at the end of a stick. I refuse to acknowledge anyone around me as a friend, even though it's one of the things I've most the most all my life. I'm 15 but before the age of 5 I only ever had my brother (and my now stepsisters) to be around. I had no friends of my own and as the youngest of my family I was the target for jokes and harrassment by siblings. When I was 5 I started school... and I was a ghost, no one acknowledged I was there. That same year my parents broke up and so the next year I switched schools.
Although I had moved not much had changed... yet everything was different. People would notice me at my new school and I always had people to hang around with... but I was never friends with any of them. This carried on, pretty much all the way through primary school. When I hit highschool though it was different, I had those particular people I hung around and talked with...

but herein lies my current problem. All these people... these people I like being around, have no problem in calling me their friend. I however can't, I just can't acknowledge ANYONE as a friend. The word will not leave my lips and no matter how sincerely I like to hang out with someone I just can't help being cold like that... it's like my mind and heart just want to spite me.

So my question, is it normal? Am I the only one who finds themselves litterally incapable of acknowledging those around them as much more than shallow beings that could never be friends? Am I really the only one who, at the age of 15, feels like they've already given up on people and their humanity as well as their friendship?... I need serious help, it's not like I've had a hard life either... I don't know how I've ever ended up as such a cold, secluded person...

>>1 No.
You aren't the only one that feels this way.
I am certain 99% of your friends have this thought at least once.

Also, quit being such a dick.
Your friends are your friends.
You need to not let your divorced parents be a fucking reason to treat the people who love you like shit.

I'm probably one of the coldest people on this site and even I hold my friends to a higher standard than most things in life.


Then again, you're 15.
Most of those best friends won't even stick around after high school.

Trust me.
This kind of attitude will make a very very sad person when you're my age.
Stop, while you're young and can still have some fun.

The truth of the matter is you're scared.
You need to not be so fucking scared.

Life sucks, get the fuck used to it and make your short time on this earth fucking count.

>>3 that's a good way of putting it and I've understood that for a couple years now, it just hasn't helped my mind get past Solitude Mode

You remind me of Griffith from Berserk. He said that although he likes and cares for his "friends" (the band of the hawk) he doesn't consider any of them to be his friends. To him a friend is someone who has their own dream and will do anything to obtain it even if it conflicts with his own. They can't just be a shadow following his dream. For him to consider someone a friend they have to be his equal.
I don't know if that helped at all but I will say that I understand what you're saying and actually made a thread on it too called "not having real friends". I have friends and family that would be considered good friends/ family but it isn't real enough for me. I consider myself alone as well and the fact that I have them just makes it feel even worse.
The way I would explain your situation is wanting true friends as opposed to settling with the friends you've been given. What you are after is something that only people like you can give you and that is why you haven't found anyone you can consider your friend. So in answer to your question it is not normal because most people settle for anyone as a friend. The way I see it you are just seeing clearly and want to have a real connection with someone. I don't know what impression I have given you of me but I do think that there is others like you out there that you can consider to be a true friend. You just have to find them.
I hope I helped and feel free to come over to my thread called "not having real friends". Bye XD